I flat out haven't made time to update blogs in almost a year - can't believe how time flies by. Cassidy is turning 5 in June and I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant with our second daughter. This pregnancy is different, probably because I've done it all before. I'm already big and showing, although many ladies say that I'm carrying small. Ya..tell that to the jeans I won't be fitting into any time soon. It's ok on the pants...I'm working at a gymnastics academy part-time (started in Sept 2007, so not new) so wearing sweatpants to work is more than ok, it's required.
Also last September, we got ourselves a dog. We adopted Bruschi from the Worcester Animal Rescue league at 5 months old and 35 lbs. He's approaching what we suspect is his 1st birthday in April...and pushing 63lbs! He's a big lug who mostly forgets all of his puppy class training, but means well. The cats are not at all pleased with the new addition, but are making the adjustment slowly but surely. Cass is super excited and quite the dog trainer! He ALWAYS does what she asks.
Our new house is pretty fuckin awesome. We've got plenty of room for all our crap...and then some. We were even able to get the gigantic Christmas tree I've wanted these past few years...9ft tall and it fit! We did Thanksgiving here with my Mom & her Dick, Grips & his family and Rocks with the kids. It was great to have a big kitchen for cooking and a nice big dining room table to seat everyone.
We still have the old house and are still paying for it. I put it up on Craigslist every once in a while, and there's a for sale by owner sign out front, but the real estate market is in the crapper bigtime. Blixx doesn't want to even talk about the old house - it's like if he ignores it it will go away as if by magic. I've made a couple trips over there to collect junk (which the house is still full of...arg) but it's been a while and with me all knocked up, I'm limited to what I can/can't do. This means that I'm going to have to ride bill like a $2 whore to get anything done over there...so we'll be fighting. I just can't wait.
Working at the gym is pretty awesome. I work afternoons and evenings and can bring Cass to work with me any time I need to, which is often. She takes classes up to 3 times a week & while she's no future Olympic gymnast, she's getting exercise and having a great time. She adores the owners 3 kids and another coach brings her son Sigh who is about the same age. She has the run of the place, provided she's safe on the equipment and listens to the coaches and tries to stay out of the classes way. I really like the people I work with...the money doesn't hurt either.
Pregnant again. I can't say that it was planned, because it certainly wasn't. We were talking about trying again, once we'd sold the other house, but hey...we get the order of things wrong all the time...this is not news. I am not looking forward to the diapers, lack of sleep, breastfeeding or diapers again, but I know it will all be different when I look into her eyes. I have gestational diabetes again so I'm on the diet and giving myself insulin shots every night. We've got health insurance which is great, other than it makes for a 3rd hefty mortgage payment we pay out each month. Then again, if I were paying out of pocket for the nutritionist, endocrinologist, midwife, OB, prescriptions...eh, it would probably be the same.
I'm thinking the nesting instinct is kicking in. I have this overwhelming urge to get everything in order and finished. Then again I have zero energy most of the time, which means Blixx will have to step it up.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Monday, April 09, 2007
House Hunt is ON
So for the past 4 years, my mother has been threatening to give us a boatload of money to buy a better house. Well, that money has finally come through. It's sitting in my savings account right now...I know because I still check the balance a couple of times a day just to see if it's still there.
Now I've been stalking the MLS checking home listings off and on for years. I know where I want to live - Auburn, Holden - and I have a price range that should work for us. We've been to open houses, chatted with realtors and had someone come out to give us a valuation of our current home.
All of my ducks are in a row except I can't find a house that both Blixx & I can agree on. There was the wonderful older colonial in Worcester which would have been perfect, except it's older (which scares Blixx) and its at the top of a fairly large hill. Fine for us with our SUV's, but it would be rough in winter to have company. Then there's the registered sex offender living just one street over.
In Auburn, there was the strange lay out of one home with a skinny spiral staircase where I was sure that either Cass or Drunkgirl would meet their demise. The ranch this weekend could have worked...great commute location...but the ceilings were low and made Bill uncomfortable. Bah! Even the split level in Holden, one I've had my eye on for some time, needs considerable work and is not priced accordingly.
Every day I'm out looking at houses, imagining living there. I feel like I've got to hurry so we don't just piss away the cash on bills and cool stuff. I mean, did we REALLY need to both get new bikes, no. But I want to get active and riding is a pretty easy way to work off my winter weight.
Blixx thinks a beach with white sands, blue water & cocktails is where we should make our financial decisions...and he has an excellent idea. But I want to get my family into a house where we can all be happy for many years to come.
I'm house obsessed. That's what I've been up to.
Now I've been stalking the MLS checking home listings off and on for years. I know where I want to live - Auburn, Holden - and I have a price range that should work for us. We've been to open houses, chatted with realtors and had someone come out to give us a valuation of our current home.
All of my ducks are in a row except I can't find a house that both Blixx & I can agree on. There was the wonderful older colonial in Worcester which would have been perfect, except it's older (which scares Blixx) and its at the top of a fairly large hill. Fine for us with our SUV's, but it would be rough in winter to have company. Then there's the registered sex offender living just one street over.
In Auburn, there was the strange lay out of one home with a skinny spiral staircase where I was sure that either Cass or Drunkgirl would meet their demise. The ranch this weekend could have worked...great commute location...but the ceilings were low and made Bill uncomfortable. Bah! Even the split level in Holden, one I've had my eye on for some time, needs considerable work and is not priced accordingly.
Every day I'm out looking at houses, imagining living there. I feel like I've got to hurry so we don't just piss away the cash on bills and cool stuff. I mean, did we REALLY need to both get new bikes, no. But I want to get active and riding is a pretty easy way to work off my winter weight.
Blixx thinks a beach with white sands, blue water & cocktails is where we should make our financial decisions...and he has an excellent idea. But I want to get my family into a house where we can all be happy for many years to come.
I'm house obsessed. That's what I've been up to.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
I Dig this Song
Through Glass by Stone Sour
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me
'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
We thought came from the heart
But never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(No more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
Chorus: (x2)
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
Chorus:
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah yeah
Who are the stars?
Who are the stars? They lie.
Friday, January 05, 2007
PMS
Oh ya, and that whole last blog thing was me being overly hormonal. Riding the Ragtime pony can do crazy things to a girl. I mean, the problems are all real but the reactions are way over the top.
More ruminations from a selfish bitch
I've let Blixx down time and time again. I assume he's being difficult to put me out. Now, why the hell would he do that? And its not like we had opera tickets or something good, it was just a matter of whether or not we'd be hanging out in my living room. Was I a little sad to be alone at 10pm? Well sure. I like yelling at the stupid people on TV and someone there to appreciate my snarky comments. But I didn't for one minute consider what Blixx might need. He's both sick and tired and sickntired after a 12 hour day of work with a cold & possibly broken finger. Does he need a huffy wife? Nope, not at all. Some empathy and support - sure, that would be nice. I forget he works hard and if he comes home and it's all shit, then it's hard for him to remember what it is that he's working so damn hard for.
I don't give him the benefit of the doubt any more. For anything. I assume he has a bad attitude before getting all the facts. While I take 100% responsibility for my actions, I am not alone in this.
His best friend does the exact same thing - making assumptions about Blixx's motivations or lack there of. Is Blixx perfect, hell no. But he does need a little support and as his wife I'm bound to give it to him. I've really got to adjust my attitude to be more supportive. If he needs sleep, then thats just how it's got to be. And if it means we can't hang out trying to pretend we're 10 years younger, well then I guess it's time to grow up.
I also need to get myself out of the game of telephone between Grips and Blixx. Ok, Blixx is notorious for not returning calls. But Grips doesn't leave a message, he figures his number on caller ID is enough motivation to call back. Blixx will call me to speak with Cass or whatever, then ask me what Grips wants. I'll tell him that he wants to hang out or borrow a table saw or whatever, then Blixx tells me what to communicate to Grips. I do, and if the message isn't what Grips wants to hear then they both end up mad at me somehow. It's exhausting. If they would just communicate directly life would be so much easier.
I don't give him the benefit of the doubt any more. For anything. I assume he has a bad attitude before getting all the facts. While I take 100% responsibility for my actions, I am not alone in this.
His best friend does the exact same thing - making assumptions about Blixx's motivations or lack there of. Is Blixx perfect, hell no. But he does need a little support and as his wife I'm bound to give it to him. I've really got to adjust my attitude to be more supportive. If he needs sleep, then thats just how it's got to be. And if it means we can't hang out trying to pretend we're 10 years younger, well then I guess it's time to grow up.
I also need to get myself out of the game of telephone between Grips and Blixx. Ok, Blixx is notorious for not returning calls. But Grips doesn't leave a message, he figures his number on caller ID is enough motivation to call back. Blixx will call me to speak with Cass or whatever, then ask me what Grips wants. I'll tell him that he wants to hang out or borrow a table saw or whatever, then Blixx tells me what to communicate to Grips. I do, and if the message isn't what Grips wants to hear then they both end up mad at me somehow. It's exhausting. If they would just communicate directly life would be so much easier.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Christmas Eve Ponder
So much of the time I'm frustrated because I don't have any time alone, where no one is bothering me, no one NEEDING anything.
Here it is Christmas eve and I all I want is some companionship. Cass is snoring away, awaiting the treasure trove of gifts under the tree. I know she got good stuff, cuz I bought it all for her. I wrapped it too - or I will anyway. I sit here in the land of self-pity (with a healthy glass of wine)taking a break from the sea of gifts that still need wrapping.
Blixx is sick. He's tired and achy (what else is new)with a sore throat. You'd think the world were coming to an end how he moped and slithered around, trying to 'help' until I sent him upstairs for fear that I'd unleash my inner Grinch on his ass and ruin Christmas. He slept until noon, watched football, ate dinner out, took a nap...I guess I'd feel bad for him if he'd DONE anything today.
See, that's the thing. I have this picture in my head of this idealic Christmas, filled with mulled cider, carols and companionship. I just feel like I've been working my ass off and for what?! This empty feeling?
Ok, so if Blixx had wrapped some gifts while I was out delivering Christmas cheer this afternoon, I could have been done with all this crap and out with my friends. Instead, I got so frustrated that when the friends called, I snapped like a dry twig cuz they were someone to yell at. I've got this frustration and anxiety building up inside me and no outlet. So here's a smart decision, piss off those who reach out. Nice one.
I thought I wanted to be left alone to have an entire thought without interruption. Looks like that ain't what it's cracked up to be either.
Heading off to the presents now. The house cleaning will just have to wait. As long as Cass can make a beeline for the tree and her gifts, I'll be happy. Anything else is just BS anyway.Christmas is all about family and I'll do what I can to keep it together to take care of mine.
Thanks for listening. Better now.
Here it is Christmas eve and I all I want is some companionship. Cass is snoring away, awaiting the treasure trove of gifts under the tree. I know she got good stuff, cuz I bought it all for her. I wrapped it too - or I will anyway. I sit here in the land of self-pity (with a healthy glass of wine)taking a break from the sea of gifts that still need wrapping.
Blixx is sick. He's tired and achy (what else is new)with a sore throat. You'd think the world were coming to an end how he moped and slithered around, trying to 'help' until I sent him upstairs for fear that I'd unleash my inner Grinch on his ass and ruin Christmas. He slept until noon, watched football, ate dinner out, took a nap...I guess I'd feel bad for him if he'd DONE anything today.
See, that's the thing. I have this picture in my head of this idealic Christmas, filled with mulled cider, carols and companionship. I just feel like I've been working my ass off and for what?! This empty feeling?
Ok, so if Blixx had wrapped some gifts while I was out delivering Christmas cheer this afternoon, I could have been done with all this crap and out with my friends. Instead, I got so frustrated that when the friends called, I snapped like a dry twig cuz they were someone to yell at. I've got this frustration and anxiety building up inside me and no outlet. So here's a smart decision, piss off those who reach out. Nice one.
I thought I wanted to be left alone to have an entire thought without interruption. Looks like that ain't what it's cracked up to be either.
Heading off to the presents now. The house cleaning will just have to wait. As long as Cass can make a beeline for the tree and her gifts, I'll be happy. Anything else is just BS anyway.Christmas is all about family and I'll do what I can to keep it together to take care of mine.
Thanks for listening. Better now.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Get my head out of my ass
I haven't blogged in a while. Life gets busy and I just don't get a whole lot of time to sit down and reflect on it. Also, some comments made here ended up biting me in the ass, so I guess my outlet for emotional purging had to take a little nap.
Thanksgiving has come and gone, and Christmas is breathing down my neck. I find it amusing that the holidays are so closely connected, when really they are polar opposites. Be thankful for all you have...then get your ass to the mall to BUY BUY BUY all the things you 'need.'
Anyway the year has been a wild ride. I have some good friends to lean on, even if I have to lean way to often. I do get the impression that I'm a broken record. It's all just the same shit different day.
I've got some serious resolutions to make in the new year to get my shit together and make myself happy. Waiting around for some one or thing to do it for me hasn't worked out so far.
Thanksgiving has come and gone, and Christmas is breathing down my neck. I find it amusing that the holidays are so closely connected, when really they are polar opposites. Be thankful for all you have...then get your ass to the mall to BUY BUY BUY all the things you 'need.'
Anyway the year has been a wild ride. I have some good friends to lean on, even if I have to lean way to often. I do get the impression that I'm a broken record. It's all just the same shit different day.
I've got some serious resolutions to make in the new year to get my shit together and make myself happy. Waiting around for some one or thing to do it for me hasn't worked out so far.
Pictures
This was from way back at the Spencer Fair in September, but I just love how peaceful the girls look. At $5 a pop for face painting, it was steep but the artwork was terrific.
This was taken 2 Sundays ago, during a cookie making frenzy. We're raising quite the Pat's fan. Next time you see her, ask her who her favorite Patriot is and why. Prepare to laugh your head off.
The weather in New England has been unseasonably warm of late. This was taken on a woods walk in late November, near the Worcester airport. We try to get out as much as possible.
The mall now has a carosel in the food court...so it costs me $3 more to go to the mall now. Cass loves it though so it's a small price to pay.
