Ok, since it's taken me 20 days to get back here to finish the story, I'll sumarize.
The night after giving birth was a total blur of breastfeeding (more on that later) and morphine. Man, that's some good shyt. The next mornign I was totally out of it when two nurses breased in at 6am to tell me that I was to get up and was around! I'm like...you've got the wrong girl. I'm recovering from surgery. Nope...they rolled me around to check my nether regions then got me up and out of bed. The catheter came out so I had to walk an agonizing 5 feet to the bathroom, which was torture. Now, I understand that with a 'traditional birth' it's worse, as there's stinging and whatnot going on. But next time you sit on the john, think about the abdominal muscles you use to sit and get up. If you're feeling up to it, imagine how you use those muscles to take a crap...that came much much later though.
After the trip to the bathroom, I was exhausted. I was feeding her on demand, but my nipples were sore and cracked and bleeding so that wasn't any fun at all. They took away the morphine and I thought they would just bring me the percocet but apparently I had to ask for them. So, 5 hours go by and I'm in serious abdominal pain with the after contractions and staples in my gut. In that time, no less than 10 different people came in to poke me or ask me questions or give me information. The lactation specialist, who I called Cornflake Girl, was the last in the sea of folks and I needed her help the most, but I couldn't concentrate on her cuz I was hungry and needed meds and had to pee but no one came when I called the nurse and.....
That's when my mother came. I was having a total breakdown, crying my eyes out and I hear the overly chearful voice coming down the hall. I looked at Blixx and said simply "No." He ran over and grabbed her before she could get in the room. I was an absolute mess. A wonderful nurse took charge and let me cry it out as she escorted me to the bathroom (I wasn't allowed out of my bed unescorted for the first few trips) then back to bed for a nap. It got better after that, although when my mother & her dick came back later in the afternoon I noticed that my mother is super uncomfortable with my breastfeeding. She practicly ran screaming from the room - big confidence builder there!
Ladies - breasfeeding is hard. You'd think it would come naturally, since we have the boobs all our lives, but nope. The baby has the general idea if where to go and what to do, but latching on correctly takes some skill. It hurts at first, especially if your little one has the bad habit of 'slipping off' which means she isn't latched on the right way. When my milk came in, I was miserable. My big boobs turned GIGANTIC and developed a life of their own. I've never felt a fake boob, but I imagine that an overfilled boob on me feels about the same...hard and ready to burst. It's better now, although when she sleeps for 4 hours stretches at night (Woo Hoo! A long stretch!) they get painful and I certainly can't sleep on my tummy.
The staples came out the day before I left the hospital and it didn't hurt like I thought it was going to. It's been 6 weeks since Cass was born and I'm feeling pretty much back to my old self. My back hurts from the lifting of baby and big boobs, as well as being all out of whack after being pregnant for so long. I've got chiro appt tomorrow to help that out. I've got a scar across the top of my hairline that will fade in time. I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight, so I guess I've got to be thankful that I was on that crazy diet for the diabetes since no one I know bounces back in the weight department like I have, so I've very very lucky. I'm shaped differently and my tummy fat has a giggle to it that wasn't there before, but that's due to the stretching and in time will get firmer. Looks like I'll have to actually DO SOMETHING about it though. The diabetes is gone, but I'm still at risk for type 2 so I've got to loose like 20 lbs. I'll take it slow and won't go on any crazy diets, because what I eat still directly effects my little lady. Hopefully my OBGYN will give me the ok to use tampons again so I can go in the pool this summer. I knew that there would be a discharge for a while, but I had a full out peroid for a month after she was born. I still have to wear light days just in case. I guess not having my period for 9 months so I've got to pay the piper now.
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
The story of Cassidy's birth. For posterity. If the words cervix or mucas bother you, then this is just not the blog for you.
Fathers Day, June 15th - I went over to Grips house for a BBQ with his Dad and family. I'd woken up feeling what can only be describes as HEAVY. All the ladies there said it looked as if the baby dropped as my belly was riding considerably lower. All I knew is that I was tired/hungry and my lower back was really aching badly.
Monday June 16th - All & all a good day, although sometime around when I was making dinner I got menstrual feeling cramps in my lower belly, some of them pretty intense. I watched the clock but they didn't come with any regularity or pattern so I continued on with making supper. Once I had to grab the counter for support as the pain passed, but that's it. Mentioned cramps to Blixx...who got that deer in the headlights look on his face. He kept careful eye on my from this point forward.
In the evening, these strange pains continued to the point of actually waking me up out of a dead sleep. I watched the clock but again there wasn't any pattern. Sometimes I'd just feel something light, other times it was pretty intense pain.
Tuesday June 17th - Called the doctor when I woke up, as I'd spotted & she had always said "You see blood - you call the office." She said it was probably just my mucas plug and not to worry, but if I wanted to I could come in and she'd check me out. A couple more pains and I was convinced to go to the office. We'd planned on a 4pm trip to the hospital anyway, but Blixx hadn't packed any of his own stuff yet so I'm downstairs waiting for him to get it together. Finally at like noon, I'm in the car waiting and he gets the hint. Wisely, he brings all of our stuff for labor/delivery/hospital just in case.
At the doctors, my MD is downstairs delivering another baby when we get there so we sit and cool our heals for like 1/2 hour. At this point I'm starving and since I know I won't be allowed to eat after they induce me I'm thinking of ditching out of the office and heading to subway. At around 2pm, the nurse comes in and says she can check me and let my MD know what the story is...I say Finally and spread 'em. Nurses eyes go wide as she declairs that I'm 5 1/2 cent dialated and that she can feel my bag of water ready to fall out.
I had apparently been in labor all night. There is general shock that I was able to walk into the MD office. I'm still having pains, but not as severe as the night before. I'm directed to admitting then to labor/delivery because (drum roll) I'm having a baby. I'm in shock. I'm excited and scared and happy and hungry. I walked into the delivery room and was able to undress myself and actually hopped up onto the bed. Not to shabby. My MD comes in and calls me super woman, then breaks my water to 'get this ball rolling.' I create a small lake in the delivery room as it seems my belly was filled to the brink with liquid. It was the bag of water, rather than the baby's head itself, that had created pressure on the cervix enough to dialate it. My MD has a couple of the nurses examine me (i.e. stick their hands up inside me) because she's never felt anything quite like it - just a big empty space. I'm concerned, but MD says to hang on and she'll check back in a couple of hours to see if I've progressed in labor at all. It's now about 3:30 and knowing that Blixx needs to eat, I send him out to grab a bite and to call my mother, who I'd put in a holding pattern during all of this. He's gone for about 1/2 hour and I'm still feeling contractions but I'm really not anything more than uncomfortable. Blixx is still gone, and my MD comes back in and checks me out. It seems that my little girl is in no hurry to come out and is stuck up under my rib cage, in "Canada". It is explained to me that I have the option to continue to labor for god knows how long or to what effect since I've been in labor for a good 12 hours how and the kid isn't any closer to being an outie, or I can have a c-section. She recommended the c-section as being so dialated with no little baby noggin in position to block the hole up can put me and her at risk for infection. Also a prolonged labor is harder on both me and the baby. Ok, so I'm having a c-section. The anesthesiologist comes in and gets a medical history on me and the nice nurse shaves the top of my hoo ha. I ask if I can pee before surgery and the answer is sure...then the nurse puts a catheter in and lets me know that I'm peeing nicely. Actually, not as bad as it sounds. Still strange however. Somewhere in all of this, poor Blixx comes back to find numerous official looking people in scrubs hovering around me and is all like "what the hell?!" Oh, didn't anyone tell you hun? I'm having a c-section...right now. I'm wheeled off and he's told to get into scrubs if he wants to come in with me.
At this point I'm terrified. I've never had surgery before...I'm in a near panic. Thankfully, the nice dude in charge of keeping me calm (I'm sure he has an official title, but as far as I know he was there for me to puke on) Ted was a skilled professional and he walked me through the whole epidural process. I've done some drugs in my time, but never have I felt so out of control as I did with the epidural. I couldn't feel anything from my boobs down. Ted had to prove to me that I was still breathing by putting his hand in front of my face, cuz I couldn't feel my lungs working. I had absolutely no idea when they cut me open and began the surgery, except when he told me. Oh, at this point I'm wondering where Blixx is so I ask. He's apparently pacing the delivery room waiting for a nurse to come get him, so they rush him in and he gets to see on the other side of the curtain as they slice and dice me. I'm looped out of my tree and he says I was talking in slow motion, but my brain was going a mile a minute. Again I mention that I couldn't feel the surgery and was actually shocked when my MD brought my little girl to the other side of the curtain for me to see. Cassidy was born at 4:45pm on June 17th.
*** we pause now for baby feeding duties.
So now there's this baby and Blixx has a comical look on his face, torn as to whether to stick with me (still puking, so much for that wonder of childbirth thing) or to go with his daughter. I send him with her to be wieghed and checked out, as I'm still on the table for a while as they put me back together. All I feel is as if they are bumping the side of the table, rather than sewing my insides together. Small favors. We are all wheeled into a recovery room and I'm bundled up from head to toe in heated blankets cuz one of the side effects of the epidural is the shakes as it wears off. I can't move my legs and it's pretty hard not to panic that I can't feel my lower body. Later when they are inspecting my stapled incision I see the wisdom of the numbness. They put me on a morphine drip and every 6 minutes I could dose myself up again..hehe like clockwork there for a while. I'm on IV fluids and can't eat solids. How a hospital can screw up jello I'll never know, but it was tasteless and unsatisfying. The first night was a blur of nursing mishaps and nurses poking me and asking if I'd had gas yet. It was the first full day in the hospital that was the doozy.
I will have to move on to tell the story of the hospital stay for another time, as I now find myself in need of food. Peace.
Fathers Day, June 15th - I went over to Grips house for a BBQ with his Dad and family. I'd woken up feeling what can only be describes as HEAVY. All the ladies there said it looked as if the baby dropped as my belly was riding considerably lower. All I knew is that I was tired/hungry and my lower back was really aching badly.
Monday June 16th - All & all a good day, although sometime around when I was making dinner I got menstrual feeling cramps in my lower belly, some of them pretty intense. I watched the clock but they didn't come with any regularity or pattern so I continued on with making supper. Once I had to grab the counter for support as the pain passed, but that's it. Mentioned cramps to Blixx...who got that deer in the headlights look on his face. He kept careful eye on my from this point forward.
In the evening, these strange pains continued to the point of actually waking me up out of a dead sleep. I watched the clock but again there wasn't any pattern. Sometimes I'd just feel something light, other times it was pretty intense pain.
Tuesday June 17th - Called the doctor when I woke up, as I'd spotted & she had always said "You see blood - you call the office." She said it was probably just my mucas plug and not to worry, but if I wanted to I could come in and she'd check me out. A couple more pains and I was convinced to go to the office. We'd planned on a 4pm trip to the hospital anyway, but Blixx hadn't packed any of his own stuff yet so I'm downstairs waiting for him to get it together. Finally at like noon, I'm in the car waiting and he gets the hint. Wisely, he brings all of our stuff for labor/delivery/hospital just in case.
At the doctors, my MD is downstairs delivering another baby when we get there so we sit and cool our heals for like 1/2 hour. At this point I'm starving and since I know I won't be allowed to eat after they induce me I'm thinking of ditching out of the office and heading to subway. At around 2pm, the nurse comes in and says she can check me and let my MD know what the story is...I say Finally and spread 'em. Nurses eyes go wide as she declairs that I'm 5 1/2 cent dialated and that she can feel my bag of water ready to fall out.
I had apparently been in labor all night. There is general shock that I was able to walk into the MD office. I'm still having pains, but not as severe as the night before. I'm directed to admitting then to labor/delivery because (drum roll) I'm having a baby. I'm in shock. I'm excited and scared and happy and hungry. I walked into the delivery room and was able to undress myself and actually hopped up onto the bed. Not to shabby. My MD comes in and calls me super woman, then breaks my water to 'get this ball rolling.' I create a small lake in the delivery room as it seems my belly was filled to the brink with liquid. It was the bag of water, rather than the baby's head itself, that had created pressure on the cervix enough to dialate it. My MD has a couple of the nurses examine me (i.e. stick their hands up inside me) because she's never felt anything quite like it - just a big empty space. I'm concerned, but MD says to hang on and she'll check back in a couple of hours to see if I've progressed in labor at all. It's now about 3:30 and knowing that Blixx needs to eat, I send him out to grab a bite and to call my mother, who I'd put in a holding pattern during all of this. He's gone for about 1/2 hour and I'm still feeling contractions but I'm really not anything more than uncomfortable. Blixx is still gone, and my MD comes back in and checks me out. It seems that my little girl is in no hurry to come out and is stuck up under my rib cage, in "Canada". It is explained to me that I have the option to continue to labor for god knows how long or to what effect since I've been in labor for a good 12 hours how and the kid isn't any closer to being an outie, or I can have a c-section. She recommended the c-section as being so dialated with no little baby noggin in position to block the hole up can put me and her at risk for infection. Also a prolonged labor is harder on both me and the baby. Ok, so I'm having a c-section. The anesthesiologist comes in and gets a medical history on me and the nice nurse shaves the top of my hoo ha. I ask if I can pee before surgery and the answer is sure...then the nurse puts a catheter in and lets me know that I'm peeing nicely. Actually, not as bad as it sounds. Still strange however. Somewhere in all of this, poor Blixx comes back to find numerous official looking people in scrubs hovering around me and is all like "what the hell?!" Oh, didn't anyone tell you hun? I'm having a c-section...right now. I'm wheeled off and he's told to get into scrubs if he wants to come in with me.
At this point I'm terrified. I've never had surgery before...I'm in a near panic. Thankfully, the nice dude in charge of keeping me calm (I'm sure he has an official title, but as far as I know he was there for me to puke on) Ted was a skilled professional and he walked me through the whole epidural process. I've done some drugs in my time, but never have I felt so out of control as I did with the epidural. I couldn't feel anything from my boobs down. Ted had to prove to me that I was still breathing by putting his hand in front of my face, cuz I couldn't feel my lungs working. I had absolutely no idea when they cut me open and began the surgery, except when he told me. Oh, at this point I'm wondering where Blixx is so I ask. He's apparently pacing the delivery room waiting for a nurse to come get him, so they rush him in and he gets to see on the other side of the curtain as they slice and dice me. I'm looped out of my tree and he says I was talking in slow motion, but my brain was going a mile a minute. Again I mention that I couldn't feel the surgery and was actually shocked when my MD brought my little girl to the other side of the curtain for me to see. Cassidy was born at 4:45pm on June 17th.
*** we pause now for baby feeding duties.
So now there's this baby and Blixx has a comical look on his face, torn as to whether to stick with me (still puking, so much for that wonder of childbirth thing) or to go with his daughter. I send him with her to be wieghed and checked out, as I'm still on the table for a while as they put me back together. All I feel is as if they are bumping the side of the table, rather than sewing my insides together. Small favors. We are all wheeled into a recovery room and I'm bundled up from head to toe in heated blankets cuz one of the side effects of the epidural is the shakes as it wears off. I can't move my legs and it's pretty hard not to panic that I can't feel my lower body. Later when they are inspecting my stapled incision I see the wisdom of the numbness. They put me on a morphine drip and every 6 minutes I could dose myself up again..hehe like clockwork there for a while. I'm on IV fluids and can't eat solids. How a hospital can screw up jello I'll never know, but it was tasteless and unsatisfying. The first night was a blur of nursing mishaps and nurses poking me and asking if I'd had gas yet. It was the first full day in the hospital that was the doozy.
I will have to move on to tell the story of the hospital stay for another time, as I now find myself in need of food. Peace.
