House Hunt is ON

So for the past 4 years, my mother has been threatening to give us a boatload of money to buy a better house. Well, that money has finally come through. It's sitting in my savings account right now...I know because I still check the balance a couple of times a day just to see if it's still there.

Now I've been stalking the MLS checking home listings off and on for years. I know where I want to live - Auburn, Holden - and I have a price range that should work for us. We've been to open houses, chatted with realtors and had someone come out to give us a valuation of our current home.

All of my ducks are in a row except I can't find a house that both Blixx & I can agree on. There was the wonderful older colonial in Worcester which would have been perfect, except it's older (which scares Blixx) and its at the top of a fairly large hill. Fine for us with our SUV's, but it would be rough in winter to have company. Then there's the registered sex offender living just one street over.

In Auburn, there was the strange lay out of one home with a skinny spiral staircase where I was sure that either Cass or Drunkgirl would meet their demise. The ranch this weekend could have worked...great commute location...but the ceilings were low and made Bill uncomfortable. Bah! Even the split level in Holden, one I've had my eye on for some time, needs considerable work and is not priced accordingly.

Every day I'm out looking at houses, imagining living there. I feel like I've got to hurry so we don't just piss away the cash on bills and cool stuff. I mean, did we REALLY need to both get new bikes, no. But I want to get active and riding is a pretty easy way to work off my winter weight.

Blixx thinks a beach with white sands, blue water & cocktails is where we should make our financial decisions...and he has an excellent idea. But I want to get my family into a house where we can all be happy for many years to come.

I'm house obsessed. That's what I've been up to.

I Dig this Song

Through Glass by Stone Sour

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
We thought came from the heart
But never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(No more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

Chorus: (x2)

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah


I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

Chorus:

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah yeah

Who are the stars?
Who are the stars? They lie.

PMS

Oh ya, and that whole last blog thing was me being overly hormonal. Riding the Ragtime pony can do crazy things to a girl. I mean, the problems are all real but the reactions are way over the top.

My Space

So, I posted a shitload of pics on my myspace account.

More ruminations from a selfish bitch

I've let Blixx down time and time again. I assume he's being difficult to put me out. Now, why the hell would he do that? And its not like we had opera tickets or something good, it was just a matter of whether or not we'd be hanging out in my living room. Was I a little sad to be alone at 10pm? Well sure. I like yelling at the stupid people on TV and someone there to appreciate my snarky comments. But I didn't for one minute consider what Blixx might need. He's both sick and tired and sickntired after a 12 hour day of work with a cold & possibly broken finger. Does he need a huffy wife? Nope, not at all. Some empathy and support - sure, that would be nice. I forget he works hard and if he comes home and it's all shit, then it's hard for him to remember what it is that he's working so damn hard for.
I don't give him the benefit of the doubt any more. For anything. I assume he has a bad attitude before getting all the facts. While I take 100% responsibility for my actions, I am not alone in this.
His best friend does the exact same thing - making assumptions about Blixx's motivations or lack there of. Is Blixx perfect, hell no. But he does need a little support and as his wife I'm bound to give it to him. I've really got to adjust my attitude to be more supportive. If he needs sleep, then thats just how it's got to be. And if it means we can't hang out trying to pretend we're 10 years younger, well then I guess it's time to grow up.
I also need to get myself out of the game of telephone between Grips and Blixx. Ok, Blixx is notorious for not returning calls. But Grips doesn't leave a message, he figures his number on caller ID is enough motivation to call back. Blixx will call me to speak with Cass or whatever, then ask me what Grips wants. I'll tell him that he wants to hang out or borrow a table saw or whatever, then Blixx tells me what to communicate to Grips. I do, and if the message isn't what Grips wants to hear then they both end up mad at me somehow. It's exhausting. If they would just communicate directly life would be so much easier.