Friday, January 05, 2007

More ruminations from a selfish bitch

I've let Blixx down time and time again. I assume he's being difficult to put me out. Now, why the hell would he do that? And its not like we had opera tickets or something good, it was just a matter of whether or not we'd be hanging out in my living room. Was I a little sad to be alone at 10pm? Well sure. I like yelling at the stupid people on TV and someone there to appreciate my snarky comments. But I didn't for one minute consider what Blixx might need. He's both sick and tired and sickntired after a 12 hour day of work with a cold & possibly broken finger. Does he need a huffy wife? Nope, not at all. Some empathy and support - sure, that would be nice. I forget he works hard and if he comes home and it's all shit, then it's hard for him to remember what it is that he's working so damn hard for.
I don't give him the benefit of the doubt any more. For anything. I assume he has a bad attitude before getting all the facts. While I take 100% responsibility for my actions, I am not alone in this.
His best friend does the exact same thing - making assumptions about Blixx's motivations or lack there of. Is Blixx perfect, hell no. But he does need a little support and as his wife I'm bound to give it to him. I've really got to adjust my attitude to be more supportive. If he needs sleep, then thats just how it's got to be. And if it means we can't hang out trying to pretend we're 10 years younger, well then I guess it's time to grow up.
I also need to get myself out of the game of telephone between Grips and Blixx. Ok, Blixx is notorious for not returning calls. But Grips doesn't leave a message, he figures his number on caller ID is enough motivation to call back. Blixx will call me to speak with Cass or whatever, then ask me what Grips wants. I'll tell him that he wants to hang out or borrow a table saw or whatever, then Blixx tells me what to communicate to Grips. I do, and if the message isn't what Grips wants to hear then they both end up mad at me somehow. It's exhausting. If they would just communicate directly life would be so much easier.

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