Thursday, February 28, 2002

Ally, I fell of my chair laughing so damn hard...is Ghost dating Mother Nature? That would explain so much about the recent weather. Good stuff. After an aweful day it was nice to hear myself laugh. On cars, I don't know if you are a AAA member, but check out thier site. They have this fun car-match tool where you put in everyting that you want in a vehicle & it will find the best matches. Maybe it will help. Oh, and I LOVE the Santa Fe too, but it has all the time all wheel drive so it's an even bigger beast for mileage than a regular SUV.

We got the Jeep & I didn't even have to co-sign! Woo Hoo. Blixx is picking it up this afternoon. I'm probably banging in sick tomorrow so we can cruise around & go for a nice drive. Gotta christen the car...hehe! It will be much easier in the Jeep than it was in his old Prism.

Boogie Shoes - sorry I keep missing you online. I've been in and out of meetings all week. Thanks for the Jeep tips.

So, one of the managers at my company was doing a keyword search and came across my blog site. I'm a little concerned at what he may have read...not that I'm giving away company secrets or anything, but still it has freaked me out a little bit. Now I can't bitch about the folks I work with...well, maybe a little. Like how Youngster wore a belly shirt with her new diamond navel ring sticking out. Ug!

Peace.
Some terrible twisted fairy tales:

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.
"What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m.
The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and **very** satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
"I can't remember, exactly...Peter Peter, something or other...."
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh what a horrible morning I’ve had so far!!!!! I awoke with a killer cough that sounds suspiciously like the cough that Blixx has been in denial about for days – it’s deep and it hurts. On my way to the car (which Blixx ever so nicely warmed up for me) I slipped on ice in my driveway & scraped the hell out of my elbow & knee. My right hand has considerably less skin on it than when I started the day. I skidded all over the place on the way to work – black ice. I got here…and this is super embarrassing people…and went into the back door of my car to grab a Diet Coke for lunch. I closed the door on the edge of my jacket. Since both doors were locked, I had to unlock the front and reach around to unlock the back door, except I couldn’t reach because my jacket proved an effective leash, so I had to take the jacket off for this whole process. Yep, some folks saw this all go down & found it quite amusing. Yippee for me. I got into work finally and used this no-sting antiseptic spray on my hand wound…except it STINGS LIKE A M F’r! It’s hardly 10am and I’m ready to write the day off and start fresh tomorrow.

Grips turned me on to the Mass Pike refund. I guess not a lot of folks know it, but we can get $$ back from gas usage on the Mass Pike, since they screw us for tolls too. Check it out and maybe there’s something similar in your state. I seem to remember plenty of tolls getting to Long Island.

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

I'm leaving work today to go buy a Jeep with Blixx. He found a 1997 with low miles and all the cool options like cruise control, power windows/locks...and it's black with tinted black windows. I haven't seen it yet, but I hope it isn't a pimp mobile. He's all mad because I want him to look at two of the major Jeep dealers in the area before he settles on the 97, because I want him to get a more recent model. If we're dipping into the savings/tax/house account for a down payment, I want him to get a really good car that will last forever.

Those of you who are into downloading music, check out the band Custom's song Hey Mister. It's hysterical!

Blixx has been keeping me up for the past few nights with his caughing. No, he's not sick. He's in complete denial, but I made him tea and tucked him in anyway. Poor baby. I think we'll both take a heavy dose of Nyquil tonight so we'll get some sleep. I'm all strung out.

Work is wacky and it's snowing out, after it was 62 degrees yesterday. WTF?!?!

Peace.

Tuesday, February 26, 2002


I was having an exceptionally productive day until Youngster asked me about tattoo sites. Now I'm back on that again, surfing the net. I think I've got the one I want for the nape of my neck. Click HERE to see it. It's the bottom one with the three butterflies. Now I just have to find a local place - not that I don't mind driving to CT or anything. Tempest, check out this kick ass butterfly tattoo.

Blixx is gung ho on Jeep shopping. He's going to a dealership all on his own right now to see if there's anything there. We talked about money last night...well, I talked & Blixx squirmed. He hates the big-ticket purchases & talking about money. We were just raised differently. Tempest & I were talking about it over the weekend - we just grew up with a little more than other people we know, but it doesn't bother us so why should it bother anyone else? We're looking at a 2000 Cherokee with all the trimmings - I figure this will be the car he has for a long ass time so we'll stretch the budget a little to get exactly what he wants. Then next year I can get my cherry red sports car...and the speeding tickets that will come with it.

So, I'm trying to get my name changed on my passport - I'd gotten it before I was married. There was a simple form to fill out, no problem, right? Wrong! They say they need a certified copy of my marriage certificate, but I've only got one original. They won't even take a notarized copy either. There's no way I'm sending them that! I called the 800# on the letter I got back - and they want to charge me $4.95 just to go through a automated system that probably won't give me the info I need! Blast! Bureaucracy blows.

TV REPORT
New Buffy tonight. Smallville is new tonight as well so I guess TV is back to normal after the Olympics. Julia Louis-Drufuss from Seinfeld has her new show debut tonight. As I'm already taping & watching multiple shows, one of you will have to tell me how horrible it is. 24 is really heating up too. I'm hooked on it - Jack has gotten back together with is family again, but you know that won't last for long.

Nothing strikes me for Wednesday night TV, so I think I'll rent Jay & Bob Strike back. It's finally out on video/dvd & I still can't believe that we missed it in the theaters. Of course, Survivor premiers on Thursday at 8, so I'll be out of the loop in the whole Rachel/Joey thing but I think I'll make it. Fox is running Family Guy repeats on Thursday - last chance to see a funny ass show. Junkyard Wars on at 8 for most of the week, with double episodes on Wednesday - Blixx will be psyched.

Well, I'm off to the chiropractor for an adjustment. If only he could do something about my attitude.

Peace.

Monday, February 25, 2002

Words of Wisdom:

Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. ~ Homer J Simpson
____________________________


Giles: Alright. I'll just jump into my time machine, go back to the 12th century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.
The weekend was excellent, however the movie choices were awful. Everyone dies in The Patriot. EVERYONE. It was super depressing. Moulin Rouge was...I'm not really sure what it is. At points I was pleased with the integration of modern music into a period piece (Nirvana, Madonna…) then other times I'm wondering why the hell they are singing a Celene Dion song. It was bizarre & if it wins best picture, Nicole must have blown the judges.

Little Nicky is the worst Adam Sandler movie. I know that none of them are cinematic masterpieces, but this one was the bottom of the barrel. Queen of the Damned is not exactly how I remembered the books to go, but I'll have to check on that. QotD was a good rock & roll vampire movie, but certainly not outstanding in the genre. It was heads n tails better than Vampires 2000, which I admit I napped through. Tempest - Interview with a Vampire was on last night on TNT. Tom Cruise was such a better Lestat! I'd seen Tomb Raider in the theater & while I agree that there are colossal plot holes, I enjoyed it for what it was - a movie about a video game. Why did she wear a tank top in a Siberian cave? Because she's Angelina Jolie and she's hot and our husbands appreciate the eye candy. Any other questions?

I opened a Petite Sophisticate credit card all on my own with no hassle & got a 4K-credit limit! I did it just to get the 10% off on the pants & shirts I bought, but I'm so psyched that my credit it actually all better! When the card comes in I'll lock it in the safe with the others, so I don't get tempted to go on any spending sprees, but it's nice to know it's there. And it’s nice to know that I’ve finally escaped the Hell I created for myself when I got WAY too many credit cards then didn’t bother to pay them off.

It was great to be able to just lay around and not worry about anything this weekend. We did what we wanted when we wanted and at our own damn pace. We probably shouldn't have been dying hair at 1am, but whatever. Tempest makes a fine margarita - it's the Grand Marnier that makes all the difference. It was just the girl’s weekend I needed. I’m at work now & it isn’t all that bad. Stress levels decreasing…weeeeeeeeee.

Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's Crafty

Friday, February 22, 2002

And an 80's favorite:

Which Breakfast Clubber Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
I don't know if any of you remember this show, but it was one of my favs for a time:

Which My So-Called Life Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

"Now here's an athelete at the top of his game!" George Shea, President of the International Federation of Competive Eating, describing the winning contestant of the Glutton Bowl last night on Fox.

Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I figured that since it was Fox, there would be puke everywhere. While some of the contestants looked decidedly unwell after eating, no one hurled. The had to eat bowls of mayo, sticks of unsalted butter (winner ate 7), dry hamburgers & hotdogs. The gross outs were tongue & cow brians...there were some disturbing consistancy issues. What struck me about the whole thing is the serious tone that the commentators took. I mean, it's just a gross out party, right? Oh no, these are world class atheletes. While more entertaining than the Olympics, I'm still not putting this into the sports category.

In other entertainment news. MTV will be airing The Osbournes beginning March 5th at 10:30pm. I'm not sure what this is all about, but I do know that they are a facinating family. Ozzie's wife is a record producer who has done battle with the likes of Insane Clown Posse & won. The children each have their own businesses - I believe son Jack is a record producer. I've heard them several times on the Howard Stern show and I'm always amused. This should be interesting, although I'm still sad that MTV doesn't play music any more.

In regard to the Yates trial...if they loose their minds and decide that she was insane & therefore not guilty of the horrible murder of her children, I wonder if the rest of her family couldn't be charged with reckless endangerment for allowing a nutty woman to continue to breed and be around the kids. You'd think the father would be charged with something.

Economists across the country are saying today that the recession is over. Why are some of my friends still out of work? Why can't my company hire anyone to fill the positions that were eliminated back in October? Over my ass.

Yeah, Faith is my favorite!

Who's Your Inner Buffy Bad-Girl? Find out @ She's Crafty

Can you tell that my mind is really on work today? Yeah right! I'm looking forward to a good old fashioned sleep over party with Tempest & Jacknife. I migh not blog on Monday - I'm feeling like banging in sick. We'll see what the weather report has to say about that. :)




Thursday, February 21, 2002


Hapa, thanks for the depressing list. 1983! Oh my I'm ancient! Cerebral Flatulence - Spike is using a different kind of gun on Buffy now a days. I enjoy your blog. Keep up the strange work. Tempest - here are some more synonyms for you: cupcakes, dueling banjos, floaters, fog lights, hand warmers, tatas, twangers, warheads, knockers, maracas, memories, milk cans, milk wagons, piggies, udders, teats, milkers, orbs, melons, casabas, mountains of majesty, hemispheres & my personal favorite - bodacious ta-tas.

I read this in the latest Time magazine. It seems that TV Execs are getting screwed by Napster-like clones where you can DL shows and movies. I've heard of Kazaa but had little luck with the program. Actually, after install here at work my system had some fatal errors that went away when I deleted the program, so I'm sceptical. Especially since I can't verywell call the IT guys to fix a problem I caused when illegally downloading, which is also against company policy. They ever got a good look at my C Drive they would find 700+ songs & a couple of games...which I only play at lunch. Honest. Anyway, do any of you know of any good sources where I could DL episodes of Buffy or Family Guy or The Tick? E-Mail me HERE.

The Olympics are boring. Pure & Simple. The whole ice skating judge incident was kind of amusing, but other than that, it's snoozeville. Howver, I have decidedly odd tv viewing patterns. For instance, this evening is The Glutton Bowl on Fox from 8-10pm & I can't wait. Blixx doesn't want to watch so I guess I'll have to tape it & watch it when he isn't around.

Speaking of not around, I had told him last week that I was probably going to CT to see Jacknife & Tempest this Sat night. I did tell him that plans were up in the air, as Tempest & Purge were still in Vegas. He went ahead and made plans with Toad to go camping Friday night! I didn't see him last weekend & we've both been beat this week. Little quality time & he schedules it so that we won't see each other. Yep, I was disappointed. Then Tempest tells me that she isn't working Sat as I had assumed, so it looks as if our schedules will mix perfectly and I'll have a chance to spend some QT with my honey. The unfortunate thing is that we'll both be around on Sunday to do laundry. Not that I don't like clean clothes - I just wish I wasn't the one cleaning them!

It's 58 degrees out in Maynard MA right now. I went out to grab some (non supersized) chow & didn't even bother to wear a coat! If it were sunny I'd say that it was April. As it is there are flowers trying to come up. Thank you to all the women who used Aquanet for all those years - Global Warming Kicks Ass! <---- there's a band name!

Wednesday, February 20, 2002

For those of you thinking ahead to my birthday, and I know you are...check out this shirt that I want.


Anyone have anything to share on the Crematorium in Georgia that wasn't dusting bodies, but rather just burying them in the yard? They say that there's no federal law against it.

The Yates Trial is heating up. Do any of you seriously think that post-partum depression could be a legal cause for drowning your children?



Tuesday, February 19, 2002

Riley: Buffy...When I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending, I just assumed that was a big week for you. It turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


I've added some new humorous links to the sidebar. Two deserve special mention:

Catapult - a cute little game for bad cats. An excellent stress releaver.

Odd Todd's Laid Off: I LMAO, then LMAO again. Perhaps it's just that Blixx was laid off, but I thought this was a cute slice of life.

I'm beat. Blixx didn't get home until almost 11 last night and by the time he'd told me all about his (horrible) trip, it was past midnight. He was still wired and all about work, but I'd had it & needed to sleep. It was much warmer in the bed with him next to me. Welcome home, babe! Not much doing otherwise - same old stuff.


Monday, February 18, 2002

I'm glad I didn't go to Loon with Blixx. They were put up in a crappy motel where Toad found something 'odd, yet familiar" on his pillowcase. They have been worked to the bone & he isn't even sure when he'll get home tonight. I met my friend JoJo, her sister & daughter down at the Silver City Galleria for dinner Saturday night. To refresh your memory, she is the one who had the gang fight at her wedding. Somehow, she & her hubby ended up having a decent night because she got pregnant her wedding night. She's just about had it with being pregnant, but she looks great. I rubbed her belly for luck, and then washed my hands in case it was contagious. We ate some chow at Ruby Tuesday’s, did some shopping and had ourselves a great time. I gave her a basket filled with baby goodies & had a great time picking out cute little girl outfits – at 70% off!!!

Whenever Blixx goes away, I use the time to rent movies that otherwise would fall into the Chick Flick category. This weekend, I rented Bridget Jones's Diary and thoroughly enjoyed it. I identified with her character (smoking, drinking, trying to keep resolutions about putting panties into the hamper) and laughed my ass off. I mean, it’s a Chick Flick, don’t get me wrong, but definitely a worthy rental.

Sunday I ventured over to Grips construction zone, right after watching Beastmaster & MutantX. GeriDog was there and made galumpkies (sp?) for dinner. This was the first time I'd had them...it's ground meat, rice & some seasoning stuff wrapped in cabbage & steamed. While quite good at the time, I barely made it home before the cabbage was having a distinct effect on my intestinal tract. V & I watched The Simpson’s & Malcolm together all wrapped up on the couch. She was dozing and the cutest thing ever. She kept making Maggie Simpson noises with her binkie. The biological clock threatens to rear its angry head again. Yes, I know I'm sending mixed messages about kids. You should try being in my head for a minute...its chaos in there!

TV REPORT
Monday: Kickboxer is on TNN at 7pm. There’s a new Angel on at 9pm on WB, or Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom on ABC. Also at 9pm, Witchblade the series is on TNT. Predator is on AMC at 8:05pm & again at 10:30pm.

Tues there are two Buffy repeats, but no new episodes. That 70’s Show & Undeclared are on Fox, followed at 9pm by 24. The storyline is really heating up – we’re ½ way through. MadMax is on SciFi at 9pm. Also at 9pm, Witchblade the Movie is on WB. If you haven’t listened to me tell you how great a show this is, then at least tune in at around 10:40 or so to check out the final battle scene of the movie. It kicks ass! There’s an hour of Battlebots on Comedy Central at 10pm.

Wednesday: Not a great night for TV. That 80’s show & Grounded for Life are on Fox from 8-9. Bernie Mac is on after that, but I just don’t get that show. Titus is on at 9:30pm FoxRocky Horror is on VH1 at 9pm. Cheech & Chong’s Next Movie is on Comedy Central at 9pm. So is Wrath of Khan on TNN. Combat Missions is on USA at 10pm.

Thursday: THE GLUTTON BOWL BABY! Fox is having an eating contest on at 8pm that is sure to gross us all out. I can’t wait & will be sure to serve something squishy for dinner. Robbin Hood Men in Tights is on ABCFAM at 8pm. Kull the Conquerer is on SCIFI at 9pm. 10pm on Discovery Channel – Spontaneous Human Conbustion. Nope, I didn’t make that up.

Friday: Lost in Space is on Fox & Lethal Weapon 3 is on WB, both at 8pm. USA has 8MM on at 9pm – they will have to edit the Hell out of that flick to get it on TV. Very good. Also at 9pm is Terminator on TNT.
Ghost doesn't like fat chicks. He doesn't have to.
We all have our own personal likes and dislikes. I like my men to be tall and on the thin side, & long hair is really a must have. I hope that doesn't offend any of the verticly challenged, closely coiffed males out there, but I like what I like. Does knowing what I find attractive in a mate make me a bad person? No, I don't think so. Does the fact that my husband has long legs & long hair reflect on my character? Nope, it just means that I saw what I wanted and went out of my way to get it.
Ghost has the right to his shallow opinions, whether we like them or not. Physical violence (or threats there of) isn't the answer. Ok, maybe a quick bitchslap across the face. But no need for a baseball bat.

Friday, February 15, 2002

Blixx bought me a really cool jewelry box that I'd admired while we were out shopping at Pier1 last weekend. It was very sweet. We went to Chucks Steak House for dinner and ate until we burst. I absolutely LOVE the salad/bread/soup bar at that place. The filet minon was a mere afterthought, but delicious non the less. Blixx has himself some fine leftovers for lunch today. After dinner, we went home & watched the taped Family Guy and laughed our asses off. I lit some candles, put on the silly little baby doll with the fake fur accents and we...well, you get the idea. I'm bowlegged and can't seem to get the shit eaten grin off my face. Life is good people.

I've updated the links over to the left to include some more of my favorites. Maybe they are of interest to you. Maybe not. Check out the Save My Show link and please vote to keep The Family Guy and Futurama on Fox. Both are really funny shows with really bad time slots. Fox needs to get it's head out of it's ass.

This weekend Blixx is heading up north to Loon Mountain with Toad to tape some skiers with disabilities. I was planning on driving up with them and just kind of hanging out, but now it's not looking too good for that plan. He's sharing a room with Toad, and while I like Toad a lot I'm just not sure that I want to share that close of a space with him. Also, it seems that Blixx will have absolutely no free time at all. Maybe I'll still go, but most likely I'll end up doing some shopping and reading and generally enjoying time on my own footloose and fancy free. Maybe I'll go over to Grips house for dinner on Sunday night. You reading this Grips? I'm inviting myself over to play with your daughter and grill Teacher to get to the bottom of your new found healty outlook. Oh, and to play with your lovely daughter. I haven't seen her in over a month and I'm sure she's a totally different person by now. Kids.

Charlie Brown Valentine's specials we'll never see on TV.
Why Can't My Boyfriend Be More Like You, Charlie Brown?
It's Not You, It's Me, Charlie Brown
If I Didn't Have a Boyfriend It'd Be You, Charlie Brown
Because No Means No, Charlie Brown
There's No Easy Way to Say It, So I'm Just Going to Say It, Charlie Brown
You're Like a Brother, Charlie Brown
But I Thought You Were Gay, Charlie Brown
Can't Things Stay the Way They Are, Charlie Brown?
Size Doesn't Matter, Charlie Brown
She's Nothing But A Red-Headed Tease, Charlie Brown
You Still Have Something to Live For, Charlie Brown, Please Step Away From the Ledge
I Know It's You That's Been Calling Me, Charlie Brown
There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate, Charlie Brown
What We Have is a Failure to Communicate, Charlie Brown
You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling, Charlie Brown
But I Was Thinking of You, Charlie Brown
It'll Be Our Little Secret, Charlie Brown
I'm Flattered But I Just Think of You as a Friend, Charlie Brown
I Thought You Knew, I Play for the Other Team, Charlie Brown
I'm Focusing On My Career, Charlie Brown
The Restraining Order Says You Have to Stay 500 Yards Away, Charlie Brown

Thursday, February 14, 2002

SITE PICK OF THE MONTH: Colorgenics. I guess it's kind of like a personality test, but different. Pick your colors then read what it has to say about you. It's better than you might think and since you're reading this blog, you've obviously got some time to kill. C'mon!

Which Buffy Girl Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
Ghost Wrote: According to the National Institutes of Health, Anorexia nervosa, the starving disorder Barbie is sometimes blamed for kills about 1000 Americans a year. That's pretty sad... all those thin hot chicks dying off like that, at least they're trying.

I wish Ghost luck in finding a starved waif looking for an immature and emotionaly retarded man. I'm sure your dream date is out there somewhere. Check the bathroom stall right after the meal is served.

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

After Buffy & 24 last night, Blixx & finished off a big bottle of wine and chatted about money, cars, houses & our general future. His car, as expected, isn't doing too well and probably won't pass inspection this month. Therefore, we're back to Jeep shopping. I gave him the big I TOLD YOU SO and reminded him that I started hassling him about getting a new car back in September last year. The alternator and all manor of expensive sounding things are going wrong, so rather than sink 2K into a sinking Geo ship, we're buying a new to us Jeep. Blixx was astounded that I got him listings for local dealerships before noon today. I'm astounded that he got up this AM with me and has jumped into the monumental task of self employment taxes. It makes me sad that we'll be paying out, rather than getting a refund, but what can you do?
As for that big bottle of wine: I'd originally stated that white wine doesn't kill me like red does. Opps, I guess I was wrong. I feel worse today than I did the day after the superbowl. That's probably because I'm here at work, rather than still in my PJs watching Springer. My head is killing me, I'm beat and the 2 cups of coffee haven't even touched my exaustion. My tummy isn't particularly fond of me right now. Oh yeah, I'm hurting bigtime. But if you want to play, you have to pay.

Tuesday, February 12, 2002

Click here for a complete list of Oscar nominees.

I guess I've got to rent Moulon Rouge - I can't imagine why it would get a best picture nomination, but I'm willing to give it a shot. I guess.
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the Principal, who will then fire you!" With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Now class, which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trou-ble!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
1) you have a dirty mind,
2) you didn't read your homework, and
3) one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."

Peace.
As you can see, I am again torturing myself with HTML. I've got to admit, it was much easier this time. Still updating & tweeking, but this should hold me for a while.

Monday, February 11, 2002

Oh, in the light at home in my bathroom I'm a blonde. Here at Monster I'm a strawberry blonde. Not one person has noticed the difference. Or perhaps they did, but don't want to be impolite.

Spoke with Jacknife - surgery went well, and while she's sore she's on the mend. She's relocated from the bed to the couch. Her diet sounds gross...no meat of veggies, no breads...I'm not exactly sure what that leaves her to eat other than jello. Poor thing, but at least it's a diet she can stick to. Or else. Glad she's on her way to recovery - and already talking about a get together (girls night, hair dye, hunks in movies) night for the last weekend in Feb. Tempest & Purge - feeling up to having guests...again?

Perhaps it is time for me to quit smoking. Just a perhaps.

The weekend was ok. Saturday was a lazy day where I finished the 3rd Harry Potter book and dyed my hair. Yep, I'm a blonde again. This was not the intended color...and certainly not the color that was on the box...but hey, at least it isn't green. That was a bad dye job. Anyhoo, the major accomplishment was to get dressed and go to Chili's for dinner & drinks. The Predidente Margurita is a major yummy!
Sunday we bought a shade to cover the huge window that shines into our bedroom wicked early in the AM. Got a light for the livingroom too. Ooohh, Ahhhh I know, I can't stand the excitement myself. Saw two houses...one in a great town, but icky road. The other is GORGEOUS! A huge 4 bedroom...hold on, modern technology...CHECK OUT OUR LATEST DREAM HOME. Ok, so there's no picture. On a 1/2 acre fenced lot, it has all the space in the world. The two car garage is huge with storage above (kayak) and a little work bench in the back. There are patios and birdbaths and little nooks all over the place. The enclosed front porch wraps around the front of the house. It was just what we've been looking for, which is hard to find in our price range. You'll notice that its listed as being under agreement. Yep, went on sale on Friday & was on deposit Saturday morning. While I was sitting around doing nothing a house that would have been perfect for us was getting sold right out from under our noses. Boogie Shoes said that maybe the financing will fall through, so I'm keeping my eyes out to see if it goes back on the market, but right now they aren't taking backup offers, which tells me that the buyers are prequal already and it's a pretty done deal. Balls! It's right around the corner from Grips house, which would have been real convenient too. Blast!!!!!
Grips got life insurance so he has to take a pee test. That means no butts or shmoke for a while, so I imagine that I won't be seeing that much of him. This also means that the pressure will be on from Blixx to get me to quit smoking. I've got to go have a smoke to figure out how I'll get around this...
Drink me!

Which drink are you?

Never, ever would I have thought that this would be my drink. What is the world coming to?

Friday, February 08, 2002

I've recently come across fellow co-workers who are as in to, if not more so(can ya believe it?), Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I came across this interesting QUIZ as to which charactor you are.
Yep, I'm Buffy. Cute & I like to kick ass in my spare time. That's me baby. Who are you?
So, when you finish the quiz they offer some HTML to include the picture on your site, but I can't get it to work. Logi...anything you can do for me? Ghost? C'mon.....
I know I'm obsessed with Buffy...but I was thinking of getting this TATTOO on my lower back, right above my butt. Would you be shocked to learn that it's the same tattoo that Faith sports on her arm? No, I guess you expect these things from me by now.

Thursday, February 07, 2002

Damn Blogger to Hell. All I want to do is put a picture on my site & I keep screwing up the format all over the place.
Crapass.
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"You do what you are. You're born with a gift. If not that, then you get good at something along the way. And what you are good at you don't take it for granted. You don't betray your gift. Then you only betray yourself. That's a sad thing."

-Unknown

Peace.
Since you don't want to read me bitching about work again, here's some stories about the origin of "expressions" - said to be from the 15th century:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it-hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs -- thick straw -- piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof - hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a wooden top or sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor."

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway -- hence, a "thresh hold."

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while -- hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food,causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made from stale bread, which was so old and hard that they could be used for quite some time.Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms and mold got into the wood and old bread. After eating off wormy, moldy trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust." Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up -hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer".

Wednesday, February 06, 2002

John Walker Lindh was denied bail yesterday. I say let him out. He'll be at a 7-11 buying a pack of smokes when he finds that without his guards that he's a marked man. John Q public can prevent the drawn out court battle and appeals process with a few well placed boots to the head.
This opinion brought to you buy the letter W and the number 8.
You know you're a MassHole when...
The person driving in front of you is going 70mph and you are cursing him for going too slow.
The fact that Route 128 and I-95 are pretty much the same thing doesn't confuse you.
You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.
You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit.
You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer.
You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they're both crooks.
You know what they sell at a packie.
You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Patriots would move to Hartford.
You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.
You have gone to at least one party at UMass.
The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools.
You refer to the New York Yankees as the Devil's spawn, or something worse.
Colleges are used as landmarks for directions, i.e., Go past MIT until you hit Harvard. Take a right and go past Lesley. Keep going until you get toTufts (actual directions).
You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.
You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day.
You know The Beanpot is a hockey tournament, not a serving container.
You have never been to Cheers.
You can recognize a girl from Revere simply by her hair.
You know that there is a bigger difference between Roxbury and West Roxbury than just a compass direction.
Somebody calls UMass "ZooMass" and you take it as a compliment.
When the words "WICKED" and "GOOD" go together.
When you pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series not this season, but in your lifetime.
When you know that "Big Dig" is also a kind of ice cream you can get at Brigham's.
When you actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic down to one.
When you know what "Southie" is. And how it is different from the South End.
When you are proud to drink Sam Adams and think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a big thank you.
When St. Patrick's Day is your favorite holiday.
When you never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape".
You're aware that there is a town, somewhere in Massachusetts, named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the world.
You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester Firefighters.
If you live in Charlton City, most likely 99% of your family does as well.
You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.
You know that P Town isn't the name of a new rap group.
You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language

Tuesday, February 05, 2002

Chynakatt's Weekly TV Update

Tuesday
Buffy Buffy Buffy 8pm on UPN. Buffy gets framed for murder.
Also, That 70's Show on Fox at 8pm - Oh, the wonder of VCR technology.
24 on Fox at 9pm. The story is really heating up.
10pm brings nothing better than South Park followed by The Man Show. Girls on trampolines!
11:30 on Cartoon Network - Tom & Jerry old school
11:30 each and every night - THE SIMPSONS

Wednesday
Drew Carey 9pm on ABC - the show has gone downhill from it's hayday, but still has some laughs
The Job 9:30 on ABC - Dennis Leary is a funny mother f*cker
Titus 9:30 on Fox - this show offers great relationship advice & the father is hysterical
Combat Missions 10pm on USA - Reality TV that isn't that bad
Battlebots 10pm on Comedy Central - some of these machines are really funny. Carmen Electra provides eye candy - er, I meant commentary.
11:30 on Cartoon Network - Tom & Jerry old school

Thursday
Family Guy 8-9pm - this is one of the funniest shows on TV. Please sign the petition to keep it on the air.
9:30 on NBC Will & Grace - this show has it's ups and downs, but Matt Damon playing Jack's love interest? C'mon!
10pm History Channel The History of Sex - there isn't much on, but the title caught my interest.
11pm Cartoon Network - Aquaman, followed by Sealab 2021 then two episodes of Space Ghost. Make sure you've had a couple of glasses of wine for this lunacy.

Friday
8pm on SciFi is their new series Strange World. Worth a look see, since there's nothing else on.
9pm on Fox - Dark Angel - while not supposed to be a comedy, this show cracks me up. Joshue the Dog Boy is hysterical. But there's hotties kicking ass, so it's not all that bad.
10pm on Food Network - Iron Chef
10:30 on TNT - The Lost Boys - Damn I love this movie! What's not to love.

Saturday
8pm on TLC Trading Spaces - Blixx worked on this show when they shot in New England. Two families trade houses and with the help if a designer and a $1000 budget, they redecorate each other's rooms. It's so funny to see the folks faces as they view the creations.
8pm AMC - The Deer Hunter - what can I say?
9pm on SciFi - I still Know What You Did Last Summer - while Jennifer Love Hewitts boobs entertain, the rest of the movie fails to amuse. Turn the sound off.

Sunday
Simpsons 8pm on Fox - it's a spoof of Indecent Proposal John Lovitz guest voices
Malcom in the Middle 8:30 on Fox - there's pieces of everyone's family in this well written show
9-10 not much on. Try talking to your significant other. They like that, I guess.
10pm on TBS WIld WIld West with Wil Smith - the ending of this movie is too wacked to miss.
Midnight - Fox shows repeats of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This one is particularly good, with the Mayor planning for the Ascension. There's a great battle between Buffy and Faith. I think I'll tape it.

VIDEO RENTAL NEWS:
Don't rent Rat Race under any circumstances. It sucked. However, if you find yourself wandering the video store looking for inspiration, try out Evolution. It's certainly not Oscar worthy, but its got a good story and a couple of laughs.

Peace.

WOO HOO NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS. I knew they could do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I had a decent internet connection at home & the time to read blogs, I would certainly have taken Nightskye up on his bet. Blixx & I have both been saying all week that it would be the Pats win by a Vinaterri field goal. Damn, we're good. Skye and his sarcasm can kiss my ass - as always.

Our party was a hit. We overbought for food so it was a feast of buffalo wings, kabobs with the most heavenly tender burgundy/pepper marinated meat & fresh veggies, a pesto/goat cheese pasta salad with olives and sund dried tomatos & misc california rolls with al the fixins. Yummy! HighOctane made a chocolate triple fuck cake that was awesome and put a flying elvis logo on the top in powdered sugar. BazarJ called in sick - something about feeling like he'd swallowed razorblades - so it was just 6 of us, but we managed to kill 3 cases of beer! The house was pretty ugly yesterday, but I took the day off to clean up & recover. Blixx wasn't that lucky - he had to go shoot Bill Gates speaking at Ratheon. He swears that he was still drunk for most of the day, nodded off a couple of times and generally had the beer sweats all day. It was a total role reversal for me - he was working his ass off and I sat on my ass in my pj's all day, reading the first 2 Harry Potter books. They are pretty good, but I just don't see what all the hub bub is about. I did the after party dishes as my major accomplishment for the day - I wouldn't have done them at all but there was a distinct funk coming from the kitchen that I couldn't ignore. Blue Cheese dressing shouldn't be left to sit out all night...or to mix with salsa. It was some strange spackle kind of mixture that defies words. I took it out back and shot it.

Mom came up Saturday and it wasn't that bad. We did some shopping and I introduced her to the world of the Christmas Tree Shops. She was floored that I got a new table cloth, placemats and some serving dishes for under $10! Don't you just love a bargain? Sing along!

Tax forms for Blixx haven't come in yet, except from Grips and Toad who I harrassed. So, we still haven't done taxes. Which means we still haven't gone to get a mortgage. Which means that I might not make my Q1 goal of moving into a house. Mortgage rates are going to go up again, with Greenspan leaving the rate interest rate as is. House prices are gradually rising and Mass house sales are even up this year over Q1 last year. Crapass!!! Not a patient person - I'm getting really pissed off!

I mentioned that I took yesterday off - well all Hell broke loose at Monster. Call volume is up after our Superbowl ads (any thoughts on them?) so it was busy. Our reporting system blew up and still aren't fixed today. It's a disaster - I'm searching through recycle bins looking for hard copies of the call reports so I can put something together for the sales managers. Yeah, it's going to be one of those days.

Peace.

Friday, February 01, 2002

THE INSIDE SCOOP ON MONSTER.COM <<<----- You won't get this kind of inside info anywhere else

OK, so if you're looking for a job on Monster I strongly suggest that you take the time to do up your resume and post it to the site. There are thousands of companies out there who purchase resume database access from us, but don't necessarily post jobs. Maybe the right job will find YOU. What most people don't know is that when employers search the site they do it via keywords and date resume posted. Make sure to fill out the skills section of the resume with absolutely every program and skill that you have so that it will turn up on a keyword search. Be really specific and include everything - you just never know. Also, be sure to update your resume every day - multiple times a day if you can swing it. The most recently posted resumes show up at the top of the list so it's in your best interest to get yourself on that first page the recruiter sees. I don't often get on to the employer side of the site, but did today and thought I'd give you job searching piggies a little inside scoop.

Lookin out for my friends.

Have I mentioned GO PATS!!!!!!!???

Talk to you Tuesday, as I've got Monday off. Woo Hoo for me and my hangover.

Peace.
Ally - You sort of know me & I'm having a SuperBowl party. So is BoogieShoes. Sorry, but that just throws your theory right out the window. GO PATS!!!

Ghost - So, the man who was not too long ago making desparaging remarks about how patriotism was wanning and how sad it was to see all of the flags discarded on the side of the road is now upset that the Olympics will 'oooze patriotism.' Hmmm.

Hapa - CONGRATS! I just hope this whole pregnancy thing isn't contageous.

Wildcat - Welcome back. You're back, right?

My landlord entered my house without my consent and removed the beautiful stained glass picture window from my kitchen. I knew they were coming to take it away, but they never told me when. I've got a shelf right underneath it that has my grandmother's china...beautiful and expensive stuff that I would have taken down had I known they were coming. Gladly, nothing was broken and both cats were still in the house, but I'm pissed! They didn't return my irrate calls for 3 days & when they did, I was told that I had to talk to Gary. Who the hell is Gary?!?!?! I'm out of my mind angry and just might withhold rent until I get to the bottom of this. Dickheads.

Almost ran over a little old lady on her way to church today. She was in the middle of the icey road right over a little hill. We're both just plain lucky that I could stop the car in time. Lucky.

Broke my ice scraper on my iced up car this morning.

Mom is coming up Saturday. House isn't clean for her or party. Took a 'sick' day yesterday and came in to TONS of work today. Spent yesterday doing a little shopping and a lot of cleaning. We've got most of our crap either in the dumpster or squirelled away. Woo Hoo!