Christmas Eve Ponder

So much of the time I'm frustrated because I don't have any time alone, where no one is bothering me, no one NEEDING anything.
Here it is Christmas eve and I all I want is some companionship. Cass is snoring away, awaiting the treasure trove of gifts under the tree. I know she got good stuff, cuz I bought it all for her. I wrapped it too - or I will anyway. I sit here in the land of self-pity (with a healthy glass of wine)taking a break from the sea of gifts that still need wrapping.
Blixx is sick. He's tired and achy (what else is new)with a sore throat. You'd think the world were coming to an end how he moped and slithered around, trying to 'help' until I sent him upstairs for fear that I'd unleash my inner Grinch on his ass and ruin Christmas. He slept until noon, watched football, ate dinner out, took a nap...I guess I'd feel bad for him if he'd DONE anything today.
See, that's the thing. I have this picture in my head of this idealic Christmas, filled with mulled cider, carols and companionship. I just feel like I've been working my ass off and for what?! This empty feeling?
Ok, so if Blixx had wrapped some gifts while I was out delivering Christmas cheer this afternoon, I could have been done with all this crap and out with my friends. Instead, I got so frustrated that when the friends called, I snapped like a dry twig cuz they were someone to yell at. I've got this frustration and anxiety building up inside me and no outlet. So here's a smart decision, piss off those who reach out. Nice one.
I thought I wanted to be left alone to have an entire thought without interruption. Looks like that ain't what it's cracked up to be either.
Heading off to the presents now. The house cleaning will just have to wait. As long as Cass can make a beeline for the tree and her gifts, I'll be happy. Anything else is just BS anyway.Christmas is all about family and I'll do what I can to keep it together to take care of mine.
Thanks for listening. Better now.