Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my daughter's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the
laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my
children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.
It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my daughter saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think she wants her crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always, MOM...!
P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
Happy F*ckin Holidays from the Mount Washington Hotel
We spent this past weekend up at the Mt Washington Hotel in Bretton Woods NH with my mom & her Dick. Well, we were supposed to go up on Friday but the snow prevented us from going. We probably could have made the journey, but it would have taken twice as long and we figured why stress out just to spend time with my family. :0
The hotel is grand and beautiful. Here Blixx & Cass take a little walk to cool off. The heat in the hotel is cranked to old people levels so it's a sauna all the time. Even the sub-zero cold felt good for a little while.
The weather was less than ideal for picture taking, but that's Mt Washington in the distance. You can see the cog railway, but not the summit. In the foreground you can see their heated outdoor pool. We had wanted to sneak in there, but with the trip cut short we couldn't find the time.
While we unpacked all of the family Christmas presents, Cass had some fun climbing on some antique toys in front of one of the many beautiful Christmas trees the hotel had set up throughout the lobby area. We unwrapped gifts in front of the fireplace - it was quaint and charming. It's a shame that once again Blixx and I didn't get much sleep because Cass kept us up all night.
Santa was making the rounds of the hotel and stopped to see what my little on would like for Christmas. Apparently, she really wants 'princess toys.'
We asked Cass if she wanted to ride on Rudolf....and she very sternly explained to us that it wasn't Rudolf because it didn't have a red nose. Toddler logic is nothing to skoff at! So she rode on Cupid instead.
Last but not least, here's a picture of Cass enjoying the hospitality in the main dining room of the hotel. We were prepared with several toys to amuse her and ordered up some Mac & Cheese for her enjoyment...turns out that being up at 7am with no nap in the car then running after Grammy in the HUGE hotel took a great deal out of her!!! She was eating a dinner role quietly then all of a sudden just rested her head on the table and checked out. She was there all while we ate soup...by the salad course she'd started to fall off chair so Blixx grabbed her up. She woke again for the dessert but didn't even eat her icecream....instead she wanted to go out and dance! So, at the 4 star restaurant she pretty much ate nothing but bread and water all weekend. Me...I'm wearing elastic waist pants for the next few days.
The hotel is grand and beautiful. Here Blixx & Cass take a little walk to cool off. The heat in the hotel is cranked to old people levels so it's a sauna all the time. Even the sub-zero cold felt good for a little while.
The weather was less than ideal for picture taking, but that's Mt Washington in the distance. You can see the cog railway, but not the summit. In the foreground you can see their heated outdoor pool. We had wanted to sneak in there, but with the trip cut short we couldn't find the time.
While we unpacked all of the family Christmas presents, Cass had some fun climbing on some antique toys in front of one of the many beautiful Christmas trees the hotel had set up throughout the lobby area. We unwrapped gifts in front of the fireplace - it was quaint and charming. It's a shame that once again Blixx and I didn't get much sleep because Cass kept us up all night.
Santa was making the rounds of the hotel and stopped to see what my little on would like for Christmas. Apparently, she really wants 'princess toys.'
We asked Cass if she wanted to ride on Rudolf....and she very sternly explained to us that it wasn't Rudolf because it didn't have a red nose. Toddler logic is nothing to skoff at! So she rode on Cupid instead.
Last but not least, here's a picture of Cass enjoying the hospitality in the main dining room of the hotel. We were prepared with several toys to amuse her and ordered up some Mac & Cheese for her enjoyment...turns out that being up at 7am with no nap in the car then running after Grammy in the HUGE hotel took a great deal out of her!!! She was eating a dinner role quietly then all of a sudden just rested her head on the table and checked out. She was there all while we ate soup...by the salad course she'd started to fall off chair so Blixx grabbed her up. She woke again for the dessert but didn't even eat her icecream....instead she wanted to go out and dance! So, at the 4 star restaurant she pretty much ate nothing but bread and water all weekend. Me...I'm wearing elastic waist pants for the next few days.
