Before I forget to tell you, I'm working on a picture site for Cass. Keep an eye out on this link: CASS PICS. I'm having problems uploading the pictures on our slow ass dial up, so bear with me. It's an ongoing project.

Let's see - what's been going on this past month or so?

Halloween was fun - we had less kids than last year, so there's plenty of left over candy. I didn't do a big costume for Cass, but she did have some cute pumkin booties and a 3rd eye. We had a strobe light in our hall behind the front door, and freaked out a little tyke when Koya the cat was sitting in front of it, throwing strange and horrible shadows all over the place.

Blixx's birthday was pretty low key, with Toad and Birdgirl coming over for dinner. I made a pineapple upside down cake! This is momentus because I rarely bake, and when I do it's usually just open a box kind of thing. We bought Blixx a shed for his birthday, and it arrived today at 7:30am!!! So much for calling first...just an 18 wheeler showing up and that blasted BEEP BEEP of a forklift to wake a girl up. I was up before the baby!!

I'm still not working, but it's not looking like we can hold out any longer. I'm interested in a part time night/wknd thing or a work from home that isn't a total scam. Any ideas - please feel free to drop me a line at carrie_arbuckle@hotmail.com. No, I am not crafty and no, I don't want to sell tupperware.

I haven't been sleeping lately and when I do I have very strange dreams. I can't find the energy to get anything much done during the days. I know it's post partum depression striking but I'm having trouble pulling myself out of it. I have way too much time on my hands to think about how fat and lazy I am. All of my really good friends live in other states so I can't just pop over to bitch and wallow whenever the mood strikes. Blixx wants me to get out of the house more without the little one, but he's either working long hours or trying to get stuff done with our house. I got to go grocery shopping without Cass the other day - big fucking vacation! I keep asking him to take her out of the house for the day so I can spring clean my closet (which is a disaster area, with maternity clothes still all over the place) but he hasn't done it yet! I've been resentful that he gets to leave the house to work and I don't...not that I really want a job. We're having major communication breakdowns as we're both stressed about money and the holidays. I still have no career goals other than paying our mortgage on time. I've considered therapy, but that feels like giving in, like buying the size bigger of jeans. It's like I'm committing to being nuts. Maybe it's just that a good # of my friends are on medications and I'm just trying to jump on their bandwagon. I'm just a little wacky and not feeling too good about myself and I don't have the energy to pull myself up and snap out of it!