Hi there everyone! A little background on your author:
I'm ChynaKatt. I live in Worcester Massachusetts with my husband Blixx and our two cats, Cleo and Koya. I work for a major Internet recruitment site (you've all heard of it, and probably have your resume posted there right now). I'm 30 years young, and enjoy kayaking, camping, white water rafting and long walks on the beach. There’s more to me than that, but you’ll just have to follow along to learn more.

Damn, what am I doing here? I'm not writing a personal ad! This isn’t a Playboy bio!

Anyway, I've followed in several of my friend's footsteps in posting a blog web log. Make sure to check out Nightskye, Tempest & Purge. I grew up with Tempest in Connecticut so we know entirely too much about each other. Purge is her husband, and we all wish him good luck with that. Nghtskye is Purge’s best friend and an old friend of mine. We haven’t seen each other in some time. More about that after this weekend’s activities. Also check out my friend DirtDirt’s site for some interesting commentary on life, love and new shoes. Want your tarot cards read? Check out Darkmoon Rising.
The above folks have been blogging for some time now, and I (almost) always enjoy reading about their exploits. While I certainly want to develop this into something more than a place for everyone and no one to read about how miserable I am, I admit that this is where I’m going to start out. I’ve been in a Deep Blue Funk for a while now and I’m hoping that writing about it gives me a better perspective on life, love and the pursuit of the American Dream.

Fasten your seatbelts - Here’s what’s going on with me right now:

My husband was laid off from his video tech job a few weeks ago and it has sent our lives into a tailspin. We were THIS CLOSE to buying a house, with financing all lined up and the realtors chomping at the bit to get us to buy. We were planning a terrific vacation for the fall where we can use the hot air balloon ride coupon we got for Christmas. We were going to start a non-feline family. Then, after 6 years at the same company, they laid him off. It’s a small company and with the recent downturn with the economy, several of their larger clients pulled huge trade show jobs. No money, no paying employees. I get it, but it’s just such suck timing. At least we hadn’t already gotten a house. While our 3-room apartment is terribly small, it’s certainly more affordable than the mortgage on a 200K house would be.
Blixx has been freelancing since parting ways with his old company, and doing very well at it. Lots of friends in the film and video industry have stepped up to show support and he’s raking in the cash. Where’s the downside, you ask? Well, it’s me. I’ve gone mental. I’m still in HOUSE & BABY mode and this career change has me baffled. I want to support Blixx with whatever direction he wants to go in. We talked last night and he wants to continue freelancing as long as he can (jobs tend to dry up in the winter) then think about where he wants to work full-time. I admire that (I really do) and I want him to find a job that he enjoys, but damn it! With so many big adult decisions to make, I feel like I’ve been put on hold until he gets his shit together. I feel like our life has been put on hold. He’s never home any more, and when he is, he’s tired and dirty. Not dirty in the good way either.
We tried to talk about this last night and I ended up making him feel bad that he’s been working (or camping) weekends for the past month. I didn’t want to guilt him, just tell him what I’ve been going through, but he just isn’t ready to hear it.
He says he needs me to be strong, and I can be. I’m usually one of the strongest women you’ll ever meet but I’m at whits end here. Blixx is unquestionably my best friend in the world and I love him to death. Without being able to really open up to him about what’s going on it’s eating a hole inside me. Those of you who know me (which is all of you) know that keeping my opinions to myself isn't exactly my forte. Without an outlet, I'll explode.

As therapy, I’ve resorted to posting here so I can just type my cares away. I hope this crap works, because we don’t have the money to pay for a shrink. I will try to be more uplifting tomorrow. I promise.

Reach me at ChynaKatt_SunFlwyr@hotmail.com if you wish.

Into the future....