Last night I did something crazy that I don't think I've ever done before. I went out with the girls, Birdgirl and Crafty to be exact. We had an estrogen fiesta. We went to see The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood. Great chick flick that really makes you think about how f*cked mothers make their daughters. While Tempest, Jacknife & I don’t have an official pact of any sort, the friendship of the 4 women reminded me of our exploits of youth. Of course, I saw all sorts of parallels to my own life. There were plenty of laughs and a decent storyline. I didn't read the book, but apparently it's pretty true to the original story, except I guess they left some of the more damaging portions of the abuse out of the movie. There wasn't a guy in the entire theater, which is fine because men shouldn't see this movie. Then they would know our secrets...

After the movie, we went to the local dive bar Vincent's and had a few pops. Some of their theater friends were there already and made me right at home. I met a new fag to hag named...hmmm, I'll have to think of something appropriate to call him, should I ever see him again. We drank, we laughed. I called Blixx to see if he wanted to come out, but he was tired from paddling the day away.

He was on ‘hold’ from a particular company to work yesterday and today, but they have their head up their ass and never told him that the job had been cancelled. So, he gets a ½ day rate for nothing. Money for nothing…but his chicks aren’t free. I’m jealous of his schedule. I’m envious that he doesn’t have to work regular hours to make the big bucks. I’m sure that green-eyed monster is contributing to my general crappy attitude about work. I see what it’s like on the other side and the grass is much, much greener.

Blixx & I had a communication breakdown last night about our alleged camping trip next week. He said “ I don’t feel the love from you, so I haven’t done anything about the trip.” I said “And I haven’t been feeling the love about the trip because you haven’t planned anything.” Ahh, marriage. He also caught up on my blogs and is concerned about my mental well being surrounding work. I guess there were things written about in here that he had no idea about. I didn’t have a chance to ask about specifics, as it was 1am and I had a couple of drinks in me, so it just wasn’t the right time to talk. We’ve got to work together on finding the ‘right time.’ We’re going house hunting tonight after work, so hopefully we’ll have an opportunity to catch up on what’s doing in our jangled little brains. I’ll have to read some of my past blogs to see what he might have been talking about & what could have worried him.

This conversation about his worry came right after I informed him that Birdgirl had been laid off from her (crappy & much hated) job. She’s actually psyched about it, as she’d been looking for something better for some time. So, I tell him that & his immediate thoughts are to bring up how I need to relax. Yeah, I bet he thinks I’m going to walk out on my job here. Nope, unfortunately that isn’t an option for me. I can’t go because the mortgage is in process and I want a house with him more than anything. Then, we’ll have a house and I can’t just dump a regular paycheck…mortgage payments and such. I’ve up & quit previous jobs without having something else lined up before, so he has every right to be concerned. This job isn’t in any way as bad as that job at Atlas where I had to pick through dirty delivery receipts and collate them over an over again, from 7:30am - 3:30pm. That job sucked ever so much more than this one does. I’m just frustrated here that I’ve given them my all and get little/nothing in return by way of thanks or recognition or MONEY. Ok, so the money is pretty damn good and the benefits are decent too…I just want something different. Something new. Something better. Ok, so I want money for nothing.