Monday, August 27, 2001

Well, I’m back. This vacation was just too short and all hell broke loose here at work while I was gone. I won’t bore you with the details, but lets just say that I do it better and the bitches all suck.

ChynaKatt's Vacation

Moving on…I drove the entire 6-½ hour ride up to The Forks Maine. If you’re looking for it on a map, start at Canada and work your way down. Yeah, it was a long ride. DaveGrip’s mom HotDogLady rented a cottage for her family and we (as always) leeched onto her hospitality. The cottage is right on Lake Moxie and you could see stars for miles. Not just the puny little stars you all see looking out your window at night. We could see the Milky Way clear as a bell – it was breathtaking. Totally worth the drive.

We were pretty beat after the long drive, but managed to get some good quality drinkin’ time in Wednesday night. There was no shower or bathroom, just an outhouse. Blixx went in there before I did and came out choking. I didn’t even venture inside, but chose a nice secluded spot behind the house to do my business. I have to say that my squatting muscles hurt. No seriously, I’m in pain here.

Thursday the whole family hiked into the woods to Magic Falls. It’s the largest rapid on the Kennebec River. We were there in time to see the water level rise from the damn release. One minute Blixx is standing on a rock wetting down his bandana, the next the water is rushing around the corner! Don’t worry, he got out of the way in time. It was wild to watch the rapids form right in front of our eyes. We had V with us and she decided that I was her best friend for the trip. She climbed all over me laughing and pointing at all the boats. She can recognize a kayak, which I thought was pretty cool for a 2 year old. We saw all the rafting companies come down the way, as well as some whitewater kayakers. No, I don’t think I’ll be into that any time soon – these guys are nuts!

After the hike we all kind of split up. I went with the womenfolk back to the cottage for some burgers and nap time. V has it right with her eat sleep poop repeat lifestyle. There was a hammock outside near the fire pit where I was able to spend some real quality time reading. The men drove one town over to pick up a part for MattMatt’s truck…the next town over being 80 miles away by paved road or 20 miles via dirt road. Yeah, the closest Dunkin Donuts is that far away too. I don’t think I could live there year round. I went swimming with Teacher and V in the lake and we had a great time. I had V on my back in her little floatie and swam her out and around for a while.

Once the boys got back we hiked into Moxie Falls, the largest waterfall in Maine. To get there we had to kind of slide down a slope (small bruises and road rash, but I’ll heal) but it was one of the most beautiful natural wonders I’ve ever seen. We swam in the pool for hours, and both Blixx and DaveGrips were jumping off part of the cliff face. We swam right up to the waterfall and let the water beat the grime off of us. Keep in mind that this is the closest thing to a shower I’d seen so far so I took every advantage of it. We took a ton of pictures and floated around drinking beers for a while. Quite relaxing and worth even the long crawl straight up to get out of there (again, only a few bruises on my legs).

Once we got back to camp, HotDogLady and Teacher had made up some chicken and rice and all sorts of goodies for us so we ate like kings. The fire had just been started when we got home so we sat our lazy butts around it. The next thing we knew Teacher threw the chicken on the grill and said she’d be right back…never to be seen again! So Blixx once again had the honor or barbequing for us AGAIN. It’s kind of funny at this point.

What DaveGrips and I didn’t realize is that Blixx had been drinking SoCo & Moxie soda ever since we’d gotten back, and he was apparently quite thirsty. By the time dinner was over and we were back out around the fire he was truly shnockered. I sent him to the tent to get more cigarettes and I told him they were in my backpack. He asked if I was sure. I said yes. He just got around the corner to our tent when I realized that they were in my fleece. When HE realized they weren’t where I said they were he decided to bring the whole bag back to us for show and tell. As he turned the corner of the cottage, he slipped on a rock and SLAMMED his ankle into it. It was the yelp of pain heard round the world. He proceeded to the hammock (after stopping at the cooler for some “medicine”) and told us all night that he was fine. He was fine. No problem – fine!

I should say here that we were originally going on a private rafting trip, then it was of, then it was on, then it was off again. We weren’t sure if we were going rafting at all and had all of our hopes pinned to Jillybean being able to pull it off. She’s not the responsible one in the family. Our fingers were crossed.

So, when we wake up on Friday morning we hear the phone ring and I hear that the trip is on, but we’re on a regular boat with the family of another Moxie employee. Whatever, at least we get to raft for only $15 per person, which pays for our lunch on the river. Gotta love the family discount! Dave yells out that we’re on. Blixx yells back that we’re not, because he can’t walk! Yep, he’d royally f*cked up his ankle and could barely walk on it. The thing was swollen up the size of a baseball!!! So DaveGrips yells "FINE THEN I’M LEAVING TODAY" and starts packing up his stuff. You see, the women were leaving Friday to return to the land of showers and indoor plumbing. They’d been up there all week and had just about had it. So now DaveGrips was leaving with them and the vacation is over and it had all gone to shit! Blixx can't walk and I'm shit out of luck.

More tomorrow…

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