I wrote the ladies a poem:


I usually do it in my house
and I'm never quiet as a mouse
I like to do it in the shower
thank you God for battery power
I have done it in a tent
both with and without my gent
I have done it in the car
while traveling near and far
I sometimes do it on the table
when I'm feeling able
You should do it on the couch
it's fun, I can vouch
I don't do it all the time
as Blixx is quite sublime
but if this is a game
I wish to proclaim
That I'm IN
and that I've pretty much always been.



I have all the necessary equipment, including a back-up because you can never be too sure in these life/death situations. I believe I qualify as an advanced user, as I have several years of experience under my belt.

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Last night we watched the premiere of Enterprise, the newest Star Trek adventure. Blixx has always been a trekie, but I'm a fan of the original all the way. Scott Bacula just doesn't have the charisma to make me believe that he's the leader. Most of the cast are wishy washy - there's a severe lack of alien crew members, as this is set in a time before James T Kirk made it his mission to bang every alien honey he could get his old man hands on. Our token aliens are a doctor who reminds me a little too much of Nelix from Voyager, and then there's the vulcan. Ahhh, the vulcan science officer is a hottie who reminds me a great deal of Angelina Jolie. It's just too wierd to have the pouty lips and big soulful eyes on an uptight vulcan. I even think she's better put together than 7 of DD, but she's a vulcan so it can't go anywhere. Pouty lips shouldn't be on a vulcan. You can check her out almost naked in the October issue Maxim. Oh, and don't get me started about the HORRIBLE intro music. They have totally ditched the "Space...the final frontier..." for this hokey 80's soft rock! Yuck!

Thanks for letting me vent. You see, Blixx complains that he can't watch Star Trek with me because I can't seem to keep my whitty (sarcastic & apparently annoying) commentary to myself. He actually stopped watching Voyager because he couldn't take watching it with me. I'm telling you the truth here people - he stopped watching the series all together. I merely point out plot holes or how the time space continueum is for shit...stuff like that. I did pretty well last night, but I'm really going to have to watch myself. I'm a Buffy addict and if he starts to fuck with me during my show I'll have to kill him. I don't want to - he's a good husband - but he won't leave me much choice if he starts ragging on the Buffster.

Wolf Lake was on CBS last night too. It was the second episode and while I think there's potential there, I'm not sure that CBS will take it to the level of darkness needed to hook fans. I do hope that the series helps Lou Diamond Phillips be known for something other than being the guy whose wife was stollen away by Melissa Etheridge. I'll watch it one more time then thats it!

I am a self-proclaimed expert on bad TV. Go ahead, ask me anything...