TV REPORT

MONDAY 5/6
8-9PM (tcm) Breakfast at Tiffany's. I'd prefer the little blue box, myself.
8-9 PM (nbc) Fear Factor. It's a dumb show, but Joe Rogan is a funny dude having a good time.
8-9PM (mtv) Videos - allegedly.
8-9PM (comedy) Kingpin - I'm a sucker for Bill Murray. I just wish I liked Golf so I could watch his new show on Comedy Central.
9-10PM (wb) Angel - Connor comes back to kill his father. Um, yeah I'll be watching! Egads, the season finale is right around the corner!
9-10PM (tcm) Shaft - the one with Samuel L Jackson.
10-11PM (vhi1) 100 GREATEST ONE-HIT WONDERS Animotion and Dexy's Midnight Runners better be in here, or I'm never watching this network again. Ever. (Concludes May 10)

TUESDAY 5/7
8-9PM (upn) BUFFY - as the season comes to a close (gasp!) we're on the road to dark magic and murder. I'm betting that Buffy dies, or almost dies at least, in the season finale. It's happened twice before, so the odds are in my favor.
8-10PM (comedy) Office Space - death to fax machines
8-8:30PM (fox) That 70's Show - round the world!
8-10PM (tcm) The Pink Panther
9-10PM (fox) 24 - only 3 hours left and just when things looked to be winding down, Victor (Dennis Hopper) still has Jack, but now has his daughter Kimberly as well. I'm betting Teri goes in there and blows them all away...after all, she's had a really rough day too.
9-10PM (upn) Roswell - alien babies. This under-rated series jumped the shark a while ago, but is still a cute story about cute people with special powers.
10-11PM (food) The Naked Chef - he wears pants and I can't understand what he's saying, but the food looks good and his gay friends seem to enjoy themselves.
10:30-11PM (MTV) The Osbornes - series is coming to a close. Perhaps he'll go to the drycleaners. THAT would be funny.
11-11:30PM (mtv) Jackass

WEDNESDAY 5/8
8-10PM (amc) Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid - classic
8-9PM (fox) That 70's Show repeat followed by Grounded for Life. You never hear anything about GfL, but it's a really funny show with a decent cast.

Other than that, there's nothing on TV.

THURSDAY 5/9
8-9PM (cbs) Survivor. It's getting down to the wire and they are hungry, which makes them more entertaining. I like eating dinner while I watch.
8-11PM (fox) Star Wars The Phantom Menace - JarJar is the real menace!


FRIDAY 5/10
8-10PM (fox) Girl Next Door:Search for the Playboy Centerfold. TVGUIDE says: Cameras follow 12 hopefuls as they prepare to bare all in hopes of scoring the hottest spot in the men's magazine. Founder Hugh Hefner has the final say in the selection, which comes only after each of the ladies has been screened, primped and preened.
8-9:30PM (tcn) THE BLOB Steve McQueen battles Jell-O.
8-10PM (bravo) Boys Don't Cry - wacky film. TVGUIDE says: Hilary Swank won a Best Actress Oscar for her stunning performance in this fact-based 1999 drama about a transgendered youth.
Swank plays Teena Brandon, a young Nebraska woman who prefers to live her life as a man. Calling herself Brandon Teena and passing herself off as male, the teen befriends a group of young people in a bar and relocates to their town. There, Brandon develops a crush on a disillusioned woman named Lana (Best Supporting Actress nominee Chloe Sevigny) and they embark on a tentative romance---a development that disturbs Lana's former boyfriend, a volatile ex-con.
9-10PM (nbc) Law & Order Criminal Intent - this is a well written show. Vincent D'Onofrio plays a twisted & brilliant cop. Season Finale.
9-10PM (scifi) Farscape - A shape-shifting parasite called a Vorc gets aboard Moya and attacks D'Argo, leaving him with a mortal wound. The crew must track down the Vorc and use it to make a serum to counteract the creature's venom and save D'Argo's life.
10-11PM (nbc) Law & Order Special Victims Unit - this show usually creeps me out with all the rape and violence to women, but Ice-T is good. This one is about a mentally challenged pregnant girl.

SATURDAY 5/11
2-4PM (usa) Fried Green Tomatos
3:45-6:30PM (tbs) Jaws again
8-11pm (nbc) Three Kings - Cloony & Marky Mark. Pretty funny too.
9:30-11PM (tcm) Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex - back when Woody Allen was funny.
10-11PM(toon) Justice League followed by Batman

SUNDAY 5/12
6-8:15PM (tcm) Jaws again.
7-9PM (abc) Dinotopia. It's Disney, but the promos look interesting. Definately a big special effects budget. TVGUIDE says: Based on the books by James Gurney, the series (which continues over the next two nights) opens with brothers Karl and David Scott (Tyron Leitso, Wentworth Miller) surviving a plane crash, only to become stranded on a strange, uncharted island called Dinotopia. Mayor Waldo (Jim Carter) welcomes the 'off-worlders', but informs them that they can never leave---which disturbs Karl, but intrigues David.
8-10pm (tbs) Deep Blue Sea. If you missed this one, definately tune in. There are some moments that are hysterical. Oh crap...it's not a comedy?
8-9PM (fox) The Simpsons followed by Malcolm in the Middle. My family is this sick, just not as funny.
9-11PM (tmc) Jumanji - That's Kirsten Dunst as the jailbait daughter.
9-11:30 (bravo) Mommie Dearest - no wire hangers. Blixx has neer seen this movie, so we'll have to try to tune in.
10-11PM (comedy) The Man Show