Some sad news today – Blixx’s grandmother Meme passed away today. She was 85+ years old and in poor health for some time. She’d been in and out of a diabetic coma for the past few weeks. While I’m sure it’s for the best that she pass, I’m still sure that this will send shock waves through the whole family. Poor Pepe will need to be taken care of, and I just hope that Blixx’s mother can cope with all the stress. Please light a candle, dance a little dance or do whatever it is that you do to honor the passing of a kind and wonderful woman. The wake is tomorrow, and I’m not sure if I’m going. I hate those things! The funeral is on Saturday in NH. I'm not looking forward to seeing the sad & lost look in Pepe's eyes.

Enough of the morbid!

Funny work story:
A dude in our e-lead department got fired yesterday. He’s worked for the company for almost 2 years, and at a dot com that’s the equivalent of forever. He apparently was typing an instant message to a friend, but somehow what he was typing was transferred to an e-mail he was sending to a client. The IM was a link to something about a purple dildo. Please keep in mind that I’m hearing this from the rumor mill, but I believe my sources to be pretty much in The Know. So, the e-mail gets sent out, client responds directly to the Account Manager who goes directly to his boss…and out dude goes on his ass for a simple mistake. Imagine going home to your hubby/wife/significant other and explaining how an IM about a dildo got you fired. Makes you think…

I should have gone home after the Carnival last night, but instead went out to have one beer. One turned into two, then three… It was a good time and I was able to use booze as an In to get my boss’s boss interested in hiring me to be his assistant, now that he’s been promoted to VP. Very good stuff there – he’s a wacky, but I think I can work with him. I’ve got to keep making inquiries in getting a better job than what I’ve got now. I swear that one of the sales reps (female) hit on me, but it’s been so long that I can’t be sure. Youngster was sitting on someone’s lap and this rep grabbed my arm and said ‘let’s go watch the show – this could get good.’ Whatever. She’s not my type. Shaped like a troll.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’ve had the shakes all day today. I don’t recall ever feeling quite like this. It isn’t a hangover – those I can certainly recognize. I didn’t eat dinner last night, and I had the hungry horrors when I woke up. Bagel and coffee cured that, and I ate a big salad for lunch even though I wasn’t that hungry. I haven’t even had any caffeine other than the Java, yet I’m shaking like a leaf. I’ve had plenty of water, thinking that maybe I’d dehydrated myself with the booze last night, but it doesn’t seem to help. I want a Diet Coke (liquid smack) but I’m not sure what the caffeine will do to me. I’d planned on doing some shopping tonight, but I think I really do just have to go to bed the minute I get home.

I’m going to stop typing now and find somewhere to hang out and collect myself now. I came across this list of Simpson’s Chalkboard Wisdoms that I thought you all might appreciate. Enjoy!



I will not carve gods.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
No one is interested in my underpants.
I will not sell miracle cures.
I will return the seeing-eye dog.
I do not have diplomatic immunity.
I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
I will never win an Emmy.
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
I am not deliciously saucy.
Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
There are plenty of businesses like show business.
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
I will not instigate revolution.
I will not draw naked ladies in class.
I did not see Elvis.
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes".
Garlic gum is not funny.
They are laughing at me, not with me.
I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom.
I will not encourage others to fly.
I will not fake my way through life.
Tar is not a plaything.
It's potato, not potatoe.
I will not trade pants with others.
I am not a 32 year old woman.
I will not do that thing with my tongue.
I will not drive the principal's car.
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
I will not sell school property.
I will not cut corners.
I will not get very far with this attitude.
I will not belch the National Anthem.
I will not sell land in Florida.
I will not grease the monkey bars.
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.
I will not sleep through my education.
I am not a dentist.
Spitwads are not free speech.
Nobody likes sunburn slappers.
High explosives and school don't mix.
I will not bribe Principal Skinner.
I will finish what I sta
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
Underwear should be worn on the inside.
The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
I will not torment the emotionally frail.

Into the future…