Breaking the Law....

You're a natural born trouble-maker. You hate
authority and do everything you can to get
around the law, or in some cases, break it.
Naturally stubborn, you hardly ever sway once a
decision is made. Your nature is fiery and
courageous, and always out-going. You love
attention and usually have kinky fetishes
you're not afraid to explore. People either
love you or hate you.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Late Birthday Wishes

Belated Happy Birthday to Nightskye, my fat cousin Heather, & Hapa!

Check out Hapa's site for some really funny lists. The New Englander's one is a riot!

No Sleep for the Wicked

Greetings from the blurred land of WXLO. Yesterday was my 5 year wedding anniversary, and Blixx is wonderful. I'm working at the radio station for a few days, and he and Cass came in to take me out to lunch - and with a HUGE bouquet of pink and purple roses. Cass sat in a high chair for the first time and CHOWED on mashed potatoes and carrots. She's such a hearty eater! When I got home from work, we went out to dinner (gift certificates from the radio station - free food!!) and even starving (Blixx thought I'd given her a bottle, I thought she'd already eaten - oops) she was a wonderful companion. Once she went to bed, we sipped champagne and ate a Tortuga Rum Cake that Blixx had ordered. It was supposed to be a surprize, but the idiots called the house to confirm the order and I happened to pick up the phone. D'Oh! We hung out and...well, we had fun. LOTS of fun. In bed to sleep at around midnight.

1am - Cass wakes up. Blixx cuddles her until she falls back asleep.
2:30am - Cass wakes up. I go in and try to rationalize with her. I leave her in the crib and put her mobile on, which soothes the savage beast.
5:30am - Cass wakes up with a vengance. I try to get Blixx to get her, but he mummbles that she won't go back to sleep with him. I'm pissed that he won't even try, so I go downstairs and grab a bottle (to shove up his ass). He's up with her with the lights on, changing diapers so I leave the bottle in the room and head back to bed, where I sleep fitfully at best.

8:39am - I wake up with one leg out of the covers, my arm draped over toward my alarm clock, and the alarm disabled and the clock teetering off the back of the bedside table. I was supposed to be AT work at 8:30!! I brushed my teeth in the shower while washing my hair and was out the door.
9:02am - arrived at the station, where no one had missed me because it's just not that busy in the early mornings. I somehow made it in and out of the shower and across town in 22 minutes - which is scarey cuz it's a 15 minute drive into the city to get here. Birdgirl returned my paniced call to her cell phone....from DuDo's, wondering how I take my coffee. Gotta love having an in with the boss.

I'm exceptionally tired, and I expect this will go on for some time. Experienced parents have told me that at around 6 months they have learned that if they cry, we'll come running. She probably doesn't need anything, other than being a little bored and lonely, which she's just going to have to live with!!!

I'm going to consult the experts (i.e. websearch) to figure out what we can do, but I'm thinking it's just to let her cry herself out. Arg....I wish we had a bigger house where she wasn't quite so close to us.

TIRED! VERY TIRED!!

God Love Google for the bored at work

As you can see, it's been a busy day here at the radio station. I Googled my last name and here's what came up.

Fattie Arbuckle Mania

The Arbuckle Wilderness

Arbuckle Coffee Roasters

Arbuckle Mountains in OK

The Arbuckle Boys Cowboy Band

Mrs. Arbuckle

Jon Arbuckle at Garfield Planet

Arbuckle Truck Driving School - Blixx entertained the thought of being a long haul trucker back in the day. Hmmm.

Arbuckle Electronics Wonder if we could get a family discount?

Arbuckle Marsh Frogwatch It's very important to keep an eye on frogs.

Arbuckle Fort in West Virginia

Movie Reviews

League of Extrordinary Gentlemen - the only thing extrordinary is that Sean Connery read the script and still wanted to be in this stinker. It should have been so cool, and yet we never once gave a crap about any of the characters. Plot holes abound, with cruddy CG too. I really wanted this movie to be great.

Tomb Raider 2 - Ok, I admit that I was probably the only person in the world who actually liked the first movie. It wasn't a cinematic masterpiece, but I enjoyed it none the less. This second one was a crap fest. Once again, you really didn't care one bit about what was going on. I missed a whole bit in the middle because Cass was crying...and didn't bother to pause. Didn't miss anything. She punches a shark, then rides him to the surface. Oh yeah baby, it could happen!

Pirates of the Carribean - a really enjoyable movie! Highly recommended, the good reviews weren't just hype. I laughed, I cried...the bloopers on the dvd were hysterical too.

Charlie's Angels Full Throttle - certainly a crappy movie, but it was so tongue in cheek that it was funny. The motorcycle race scene with them dodging bullets in mid air, while doing 6 other things, was terrific. If Blockbuster is out of every other movie and you have 2 hours to waste away then go for it. You'll laugh, trust me.

Christmas has come and gone with no major casualties. Woo Hoo!

We spent the morning together as a family, opening presents and hanging out. In the afternoon, we headed over to Grip's for a feast and more presents. There was drama there, as his dad left his second wife and was bringing the new "mommie" over...when the 1st wife HotdogLady was there too. A scene was avoided - disappointingly, and all was well. We watched Bruce Almighty (eh...good, but not great. Best scenes are in the commercials) then Grips came over to our place and we were up late drinking and carrying on.

Blixx's mom came over Friday for gift exchange and a meal. Rox and the kids couldn't make it, which was disapponting, but nice that we had a quiet visit. We drove to CT on Saturday to have Christmas with my mother and her Dick. We were supposed to stay over, but a mouse died in the walls upstairs and stink, stank, stunk the whole place up to high heaven. I admit it...I used the smell as an excuse to not stay. It was a nice visit & all, but I like sleeping in my own bed. Cass fell asleep on my mother, which she took as a sign that Cass does in fact love her. I couldn't bear to tell her that Cass sleeps on lots of people....let my mom think it was special. Wow, that was me being charitable to my mother. Wierd how having a kid changes the whole value of a family thing. Actually, it was kinda special in that Mom was relaxed enough that Cass was able to eat a big bottle then crash out.

Mom wanted to come up to MA yesterday to let Blixx & I go see LotR-RotK, since that was the original plan, but we decided to postpone it as we've been exhausted. About a week ago, Cass decided that she no longer could sleep thru the night, and that she needed to be held at regular intervals throughout the evening. Our pediatrician says that it's a 6 month old thing and that she's probably not starving to death at 3am, but rather is just trying to see what she can get. It's a brain development thing, or some such but it's got to stop!

Actually, she did sleep straight thru last night which was awesome, since I had to motivate early today to work. Yep, back at the radio station for the next few days, so you'll see me online. Drop me an IM or something. As much as I enjoy working here, it gets a little boring, especially in the afternoons.

Buffy Quiz

You are

Faith

"Whatever. I'm not looking to hug and cry and learn and grow."

What "Buffy" Character Are You?

Geek Quiz

You are 10% geek

OK, so maybe you ain't a geek. You do, at least, show a bit of interest in the world around you. Either that, or you have enough of a sense of humor to pick some of the sillier answers on the test. Regardless, you're probably a pretty nifty, well-rounded person who gets along fine with people and can chat with just about anyone without fear of looking stupid or foolish or overly concerned with minutiae. God, I hate you.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

15 Things to Do in Walmart While Your Husband/Wife Takes His/Her Sweet Ass Time

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone 'Code 3 in Housewares' . . . and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"

I've got to scan some more pictures, but it's coming along nicely.

Check out Cass's web site!!!

Blixx's sister Roxy's family (4 kids) are homeless. There was a fire at their house and it's currently condemned. They are staying with friends, which is terrific, and are trying to get the house back in shape and recover what they can of their stuff, but as you can imagine it's been pretty devastating to them. The kicker is that they didn't have homeowner's insurance so any/all repairs are their responsibility. Blixx is helpign with the physical recovery effort and I get stuck watching her 4 kids, plus Cass. Man o Man, am I tired!!!

I'm looking for ways to help them, like set up a web site for donations. I', also trying to find programs with the state or fed government that could assist them. Any ideas on where to look would be appreciated. Call or e-mail me. Thanks.

Happy Holidays to you and yours. Best wishes for the new year.

I'm still not working full time, although I continue to get part time work from Birdgirl at the radio station. She wants me to work the days between Christmas and New Years, which I will probably take just to get out of the house...and free stuff!

Cass is huge and has learned that when she cries, she gets picked up. We were in a store the other day and she started wailing out of the blue, to the point that I thought something had hit her or there was a problem. I unstrapped her from her chair and picked her up....and she started laughing and smiling at the nice old lady in the aisle. FAKER!!!

Today I'm paying some bills and cleaning the house for our holiday thingie this weekend. Tempest and Purge are coming on Sunday...can't wait to see them! Crap, I haven't gotten their Christmas gifts yet. Balls.

Your medieval name is: Lisolette. Quiet and artsy,
you're different from the crowd. You have a
taste in music or art and are sometimes
depressed and private. You're naturally lovely.


What is your Medieval name?
brought to you by Quizilla

Before I forget to tell you, I'm working on a picture site for Cass. Keep an eye out on this link: CASS PICS. I'm having problems uploading the pictures on our slow ass dial up, so bear with me. It's an ongoing project.

Let's see - what's been going on this past month or so?

Halloween was fun - we had less kids than last year, so there's plenty of left over candy. I didn't do a big costume for Cass, but she did have some cute pumkin booties and a 3rd eye. We had a strobe light in our hall behind the front door, and freaked out a little tyke when Koya the cat was sitting in front of it, throwing strange and horrible shadows all over the place.

Blixx's birthday was pretty low key, with Toad and Birdgirl coming over for dinner. I made a pineapple upside down cake! This is momentus because I rarely bake, and when I do it's usually just open a box kind of thing. We bought Blixx a shed for his birthday, and it arrived today at 7:30am!!! So much for calling first...just an 18 wheeler showing up and that blasted BEEP BEEP of a forklift to wake a girl up. I was up before the baby!!

I'm still not working, but it's not looking like we can hold out any longer. I'm interested in a part time night/wknd thing or a work from home that isn't a total scam. Any ideas - please feel free to drop me a line at carrie_arbuckle@hotmail.com. No, I am not crafty and no, I don't want to sell tupperware.

I haven't been sleeping lately and when I do I have very strange dreams. I can't find the energy to get anything much done during the days. I know it's post partum depression striking but I'm having trouble pulling myself out of it. I have way too much time on my hands to think about how fat and lazy I am. All of my really good friends live in other states so I can't just pop over to bitch and wallow whenever the mood strikes. Blixx wants me to get out of the house more without the little one, but he's either working long hours or trying to get stuff done with our house. I got to go grocery shopping without Cass the other day - big fucking vacation! I keep asking him to take her out of the house for the day so I can spring clean my closet (which is a disaster area, with maternity clothes still all over the place) but he hasn't done it yet! I've been resentful that he gets to leave the house to work and I don't...not that I really want a job. We're having major communication breakdowns as we're both stressed about money and the holidays. I still have no career goals other than paying our mortgage on time. I've considered therapy, but that feels like giving in, like buying the size bigger of jeans. It's like I'm committing to being nuts. Maybe it's just that a good # of my friends are on medications and I'm just trying to jump on their bandwagon. I'm just a little wacky and not feeling too good about myself and I don't have the energy to pull myself up and snap out of it!

Here I am, working on a holiday. Boo Hoo. Yeah whatever, it's 4 hours and easy work at that.

Went down to CT to watch the Giants throw the game to the Patriots. As I said to Purge, I was looking forward to a GAME at least, something worth yelling at the tv for, anyway. Hey, the Pats won so I won't look a gift horse in the mouth. There was great food and great company, so I was psyched. And you could hardly smell the skunk that nasty stupid dog got hit by. Poor dumb Gus.

Tempest gave me a beautiful necklace for my birthday that is this cool color change glass. Boogie Shoes gave me a unique wire wine rack and a couple of bottles of yummy wine. I think I'm having the white tonight with dinner. I've got to remember to ask her where she got the rack.

Gotta get ready to head out of here. Hope all is well.

Peace out.

I'm back at the radio station for 1/2 day today and Monday.

Let's see - what has happened in my life in the past week. We went out to dinner (on the radio station) last Friday night and had a great time while baby slept. Weekend weather was questionable, so didn't do a whole lot. Went to Grips house for dinner Saturday night. Blixx was telling a story and Cass laughed for the first time!!!! We were gunna watch a movie but by the time V was out of the bath it was almost 10pm and we had to get the baby back home to get into the sack, as we're trying to get her on a kind of twisted schedule. Yeah right. Sunday we stayed in our PJ's all day and watched the Patriot's game and ate fried cheese. I made brownies and we just cuddled up indoors watching Boston sports teams kick ass. I hate baseball, but I am glad that the Sox are looking good, as it improves the mood in the entire state. Monday and Tuesday we ran errands and did stuff around the house. Wednesday my mother came up for a visit and drove me nuts. Yesterday I took Cass to Wells State Park and walked around the camp site areas for the day. I took some great pictures of her in the woods. I got a great workout walking the paved roadways with the stroller.

Cass is sleeping 6-7 hours at a time now, and we gave her some rice cereal the other day. She's been watching us eat with interest for some time so I figured what the heck. She seemed to enjoy the experience so we'll try again one of these days.

My mother let the baby fall off the couch the other day. Yeah, she leaned her up on a (silk = slick) pillow then looked away. She rolled right off. Luckily my mom was able to catch her with her legs to absorb most of the impact, but there was still a great deal of crying and carrying on...the baby is fine, but my trust in my mother is out the window. Ok, so I never did get that trust. I've got reservations about leaving her alone with her grandmother...how sad is that?

Blixx dropped her again today. He had her in a blanket like a hammock carrying her around and she slipped out onto the bathmat. Again, there was crying but she's ok. We should probably stop with the head dropping or she's gunna be not quite right.

She's getting so big...I really can't say enough about her. Still gotta figure out that picture thing so I can share her beauty with the world.

Nightskye sent me an e-mail, which was cool, except that for some reason I can't reply cuz his address is blocked. Hmmm.

Gunna head down to CT to watch the football game with Tempest & Purge this Sunday and I'm really looking forward to it. Of course, the Pats are going to win.

Greetings again faithful readers, whoever you may be.

I'm working today...wacky to be somewhere other than home with the little one. My friend Birdgirl called in a panic last night looking for a recepionist for her radio station biz office so I decided what the heck...paid under the table and I got to hear a little bit of Vertical Horizon play upstairs. Jason Mraz is playing later on and I hope to be able to catch some of that show too, but we'll see. Phones aren't that busy so I've been able to check some blogs (Nightskye is back! Tempest has been writing again!!) and make some headway on the latest Harry Potter.

Strange that Cassidy is so far away. I've only called to check on them once and Blixx says all is well. She's a little pissed about the bottle feeding, but she'll get over herself and eat up when she's a starvin marvin. I think it will be good for Blixx to see just how hard it is to get daily grind stuff done when the princess is fussy.

Not that she's too fussy. She's sleeping in longer stretches now - with 7 hours being her all time record. She's awake most of the day now and actually has fun when we take her out and about. We went to the furniture store last night to look for a glider for her room and she had a great time in the snuggly watching the world go by. The wall of mirrors blew her little baby mind. She isn't laughing yet, but she's very close and definately smiles big and wide when she's happy.

I went to a working woman lunch with Preacher at the local sushi joint and had a bento box lunch that was out of this world, with vegie & shrimp tempura and loads of other stuff. I probably should have gone home and breastfed my child, but it has been nice to be away. And you should see my rack right now, all high and firm and ready to burst. They feel like fake boobs - or what I imagine fake boobs feel like.

Pause to allow the imagination to go there.

OMG I miss my daughter!!! I think a part time job is pretty much the most that I can handle...I couldn't bear the thought of her being away from me and in someone elses care all day. At least I know she's got Blixx's undivided attention today. Blixx & I have talked (wonder of wonder, but we actually talk more now since we have important things to say, like poop and spit up counts) and decided that for as long as we can swing it financially, I'll stay at home with Cassidy. All of our bills are getting paid right now, with pizza and beer money left over so we're doing great. Blixx has been working his ass off for the past two months and with any luck at all that trend will continue. If his business slacks off over the holidays, which history tells me it will, then I'll get a part time gig at a retailer. Maybe Best buy...so I can buy all your Christmas gifts there at a discount. Or at Kids R Us so I can discount stuff for the baby. I will have to ponder.

Birdgirl just cut me a check and gave me 2 $25 gift certificates to local restaurants - woo hoo! Not too shabby for a day of web surfing and book reading. I'd promise to write more, but I just can't be sure that she'll let me. Best bet is that if you want to know what's going on in my life or share a story, then by all means give me a call or drop me an email HERE.

Ok, since it's taken me 20 days to get back here to finish the story, I'll sumarize.
The night after giving birth was a total blur of breastfeeding (more on that later) and morphine. Man, that's some good shyt. The next mornign I was totally out of it when two nurses breased in at 6am to tell me that I was to get up and was around! I'm like...you've got the wrong girl. I'm recovering from surgery. Nope...they rolled me around to check my nether regions then got me up and out of bed. The catheter came out so I had to walk an agonizing 5 feet to the bathroom, which was torture. Now, I understand that with a 'traditional birth' it's worse, as there's stinging and whatnot going on. But next time you sit on the john, think about the abdominal muscles you use to sit and get up. If you're feeling up to it, imagine how you use those muscles to take a crap...that came much much later though.
After the trip to the bathroom, I was exhausted. I was feeding her on demand, but my nipples were sore and cracked and bleeding so that wasn't any fun at all. They took away the morphine and I thought they would just bring me the percocet but apparently I had to ask for them. So, 5 hours go by and I'm in serious abdominal pain with the after contractions and staples in my gut. In that time, no less than 10 different people came in to poke me or ask me questions or give me information. The lactation specialist, who I called Cornflake Girl, was the last in the sea of folks and I needed her help the most, but I couldn't concentrate on her cuz I was hungry and needed meds and had to pee but no one came when I called the nurse and.....

That's when my mother came. I was having a total breakdown, crying my eyes out and I hear the overly chearful voice coming down the hall. I looked at Blixx and said simply "No." He ran over and grabbed her before she could get in the room. I was an absolute mess. A wonderful nurse took charge and let me cry it out as she escorted me to the bathroom (I wasn't allowed out of my bed unescorted for the first few trips) then back to bed for a nap. It got better after that, although when my mother & her dick came back later in the afternoon I noticed that my mother is super uncomfortable with my breastfeeding. She practicly ran screaming from the room - big confidence builder there!

Ladies - breasfeeding is hard. You'd think it would come naturally, since we have the boobs all our lives, but nope. The baby has the general idea if where to go and what to do, but latching on correctly takes some skill. It hurts at first, especially if your little one has the bad habit of 'slipping off' which means she isn't latched on the right way. When my milk came in, I was miserable. My big boobs turned GIGANTIC and developed a life of their own. I've never felt a fake boob, but I imagine that an overfilled boob on me feels about the same...hard and ready to burst. It's better now, although when she sleeps for 4 hours stretches at night (Woo Hoo! A long stretch!) they get painful and I certainly can't sleep on my tummy.

The staples came out the day before I left the hospital and it didn't hurt like I thought it was going to. It's been 6 weeks since Cass was born and I'm feeling pretty much back to my old self. My back hurts from the lifting of baby and big boobs, as well as being all out of whack after being pregnant for so long. I've got chiro appt tomorrow to help that out. I've got a scar across the top of my hairline that will fade in time. I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight, so I guess I've got to be thankful that I was on that crazy diet for the diabetes since no one I know bounces back in the weight department like I have, so I've very very lucky. I'm shaped differently and my tummy fat has a giggle to it that wasn't there before, but that's due to the stretching and in time will get firmer. Looks like I'll have to actually DO SOMETHING about it though. The diabetes is gone, but I'm still at risk for type 2 so I've got to loose like 20 lbs. I'll take it slow and won't go on any crazy diets, because what I eat still directly effects my little lady. Hopefully my OBGYN will give me the ok to use tampons again so I can go in the pool this summer. I knew that there would be a discharge for a while, but I had a full out peroid for a month after she was born. I still have to wear light days just in case. I guess not having my period for 9 months so I've got to pay the piper now.

The story of Cassidy's birth. For posterity. If the words cervix or mucas bother you, then this is just not the blog for you.

Fathers Day, June 15th - I went over to Grips house for a BBQ with his Dad and family. I'd woken up feeling what can only be describes as HEAVY. All the ladies there said it looked as if the baby dropped as my belly was riding considerably lower. All I knew is that I was tired/hungry and my lower back was really aching badly.

Monday June 16th - All & all a good day, although sometime around when I was making dinner I got menstrual feeling cramps in my lower belly, some of them pretty intense. I watched the clock but they didn't come with any regularity or pattern so I continued on with making supper. Once I had to grab the counter for support as the pain passed, but that's it. Mentioned cramps to Blixx...who got that deer in the headlights look on his face. He kept careful eye on my from this point forward.
In the evening, these strange pains continued to the point of actually waking me up out of a dead sleep. I watched the clock but again there wasn't any pattern. Sometimes I'd just feel something light, other times it was pretty intense pain.

Tuesday June 17th - Called the doctor when I woke up, as I'd spotted & she had always said "You see blood - you call the office." She said it was probably just my mucas plug and not to worry, but if I wanted to I could come in and she'd check me out. A couple more pains and I was convinced to go to the office. We'd planned on a 4pm trip to the hospital anyway, but Blixx hadn't packed any of his own stuff yet so I'm downstairs waiting for him to get it together. Finally at like noon, I'm in the car waiting and he gets the hint. Wisely, he brings all of our stuff for labor/delivery/hospital just in case.
At the doctors, my MD is downstairs delivering another baby when we get there so we sit and cool our heals for like 1/2 hour. At this point I'm starving and since I know I won't be allowed to eat after they induce me I'm thinking of ditching out of the office and heading to subway. At around 2pm, the nurse comes in and says she can check me and let my MD know what the story is...I say Finally and spread 'em. Nurses eyes go wide as she declairs that I'm 5 1/2 cent dialated and that she can feel my bag of water ready to fall out.
I had apparently been in labor all night. There is general shock that I was able to walk into the MD office. I'm still having pains, but not as severe as the night before. I'm directed to admitting then to labor/delivery because (drum roll) I'm having a baby. I'm in shock. I'm excited and scared and happy and hungry. I walked into the delivery room and was able to undress myself and actually hopped up onto the bed. Not to shabby. My MD comes in and calls me super woman, then breaks my water to 'get this ball rolling.' I create a small lake in the delivery room as it seems my belly was filled to the brink with liquid. It was the bag of water, rather than the baby's head itself, that had created pressure on the cervix enough to dialate it. My MD has a couple of the nurses examine me (i.e. stick their hands up inside me) because she's never felt anything quite like it - just a big empty space. I'm concerned, but MD says to hang on and she'll check back in a couple of hours to see if I've progressed in labor at all. It's now about 3:30 and knowing that Blixx needs to eat, I send him out to grab a bite and to call my mother, who I'd put in a holding pattern during all of this. He's gone for about 1/2 hour and I'm still feeling contractions but I'm really not anything more than uncomfortable. Blixx is still gone, and my MD comes back in and checks me out. It seems that my little girl is in no hurry to come out and is stuck up under my rib cage, in "Canada". It is explained to me that I have the option to continue to labor for god knows how long or to what effect since I've been in labor for a good 12 hours how and the kid isn't any closer to being an outie, or I can have a c-section. She recommended the c-section as being so dialated with no little baby noggin in position to block the hole up can put me and her at risk for infection. Also a prolonged labor is harder on both me and the baby. Ok, so I'm having a c-section. The anesthesiologist comes in and gets a medical history on me and the nice nurse shaves the top of my hoo ha. I ask if I can pee before surgery and the answer is sure...then the nurse puts a catheter in and lets me know that I'm peeing nicely. Actually, not as bad as it sounds. Still strange however. Somewhere in all of this, poor Blixx comes back to find numerous official looking people in scrubs hovering around me and is all like "what the hell?!" Oh, didn't anyone tell you hun? I'm having a c-section...right now. I'm wheeled off and he's told to get into scrubs if he wants to come in with me.
At this point I'm terrified. I've never had surgery before...I'm in a near panic. Thankfully, the nice dude in charge of keeping me calm (I'm sure he has an official title, but as far as I know he was there for me to puke on) Ted was a skilled professional and he walked me through the whole epidural process. I've done some drugs in my time, but never have I felt so out of control as I did with the epidural. I couldn't feel anything from my boobs down. Ted had to prove to me that I was still breathing by putting his hand in front of my face, cuz I couldn't feel my lungs working. I had absolutely no idea when they cut me open and began the surgery, except when he told me. Oh, at this point I'm wondering where Blixx is so I ask. He's apparently pacing the delivery room waiting for a nurse to come get him, so they rush him in and he gets to see on the other side of the curtain as they slice and dice me. I'm looped out of my tree and he says I was talking in slow motion, but my brain was going a mile a minute. Again I mention that I couldn't feel the surgery and was actually shocked when my MD brought my little girl to the other side of the curtain for me to see. Cassidy was born at 4:45pm on June 17th.

*** we pause now for baby feeding duties.

So now there's this baby and Blixx has a comical look on his face, torn as to whether to stick with me (still puking, so much for that wonder of childbirth thing) or to go with his daughter. I send him with her to be wieghed and checked out, as I'm still on the table for a while as they put me back together. All I feel is as if they are bumping the side of the table, rather than sewing my insides together. Small favors. We are all wheeled into a recovery room and I'm bundled up from head to toe in heated blankets cuz one of the side effects of the epidural is the shakes as it wears off. I can't move my legs and it's pretty hard not to panic that I can't feel my lower body. Later when they are inspecting my stapled incision I see the wisdom of the numbness. They put me on a morphine drip and every 6 minutes I could dose myself up again..hehe like clockwork there for a while. I'm on IV fluids and can't eat solids. How a hospital can screw up jello I'll never know, but it was tasteless and unsatisfying. The first night was a blur of nursing mishaps and nurses poking me and asking if I'd had gas yet. It was the first full day in the hospital that was the doozy.

I will have to move on to tell the story of the hospital stay for another time, as I now find myself in need of food. Peace.

Sorry I haven't updated in a while.

Cassidy Morgan was born Tuesday June 17, 2003. She was just a hair over 8lbs and 20 1/2 inches. I ended up having a c-section and have been slowly recovering these past 2 weeks. I can pretty much sit up without fear that my insides will spill out, which is a grand improvement. One of these days I will write down the story of the birth process and how my labor was, or wasn't, as the case may be. For now, it's quiet and she's sleeping (next to Cleo the cat) so I think I'll...I don't know, but Mommy can sure find something that needs doing around here. Anyone wanting pictures please e-mail me HERE. The old chynakatt e-mail address got booted for inactivity, so if you've sent me anything there, I haven't gotten it.

I hope all is well with the rest of you folks. Peace.

Baby is well - judging from ultrasound she's got my nose, big feet, and weighs approx 8lbs.
Mama on the other hand...I've been blessed for the most part for the pregnancy with little complaints. Now, my blood pressure is of some concern to the doctors so they are running some tests. Here's the kicker - I've got to 'collect' my pee in a jug (provided at much cost from the hospital, thank you) all day today. Each and every time I go - and that's often - it goes in this jar that does NOT fit conveniently in the toilet bowl. Not that I can really reach my coochie anyway. It's been a nightmare of balancing over the bowl, trying not to sprinkle everywhere and actually get some in the intended target! It's degrading and I don't see how it can make much difference, since I'm getting induced on Tuesday anyway. Geeze. They are testing for protiens in the pee that could mean that I have to be further medicated during delivery to avoid hypertension. What a way to make my blood pressure go down...pee into this! Other than that latest trauma, I'm just all over tired and round as round can be. I'm just about ready to get this kid out of me.

Which is good, since I'll be a mom in 4 days or less.

I was just on the hospital web site, and came across a new service they provide. Check out the virtual nursery and be on the look out for the name Cassidy, and you'll be able to see her in her newborn purple goopy splendor! Pretty neat!

Update on the babyfront: After actually siting down with my doctor, it's been decided that I'll be admitted to the hospital (St Vincent's Hospital at Worcester Medical Center) on June 17th around 5pm. They will give me something called cervadil to 'ripen' my cervix - whatever that means. 12 hours later I will be put on an IV and given pitocin which will induce the actual labor. Some time afte rthat I'll decide that a giant needle inserted into my spine is better than the pain of labor and will scream until I get an epidural. We will be proud parents on June 18, 2003. That is, unless Mother Nature decides that earlier is better, but since no one in my family has ever been early for anything, I don't think that will be a problem. Although, I did have a dream that our daughter was born on Friday the 13th so we'll see. My doctor says I can't have the baby earlier since she'll be in Vegas and doesn't want to miss out on the delivery because it's her favorite part of the job. And here I thought that sticking her fingers up my twat once a week was just for HER kicks.

Tempest's blog had me almost pee my pants.

Ok, so according to the latest ultrasound the baby is already like 7 lbs, so it seems that induced labor is likely. I am literally FULL of baby, which means that I can't eat too much in one sitting (which I make up for by eating 12 times a day) and that I now pee more than Jacknife during a Monopoly game. MY belly actually rolls with knees and elbows when the baby moves around. We took a childbirth class all day on Saturday - not increadibly useful, but I did manage to learn some stuff. I also learned that I am indead carrying 'small' compaired to the rest of the world. Imagine being the smallest bus in the whole parking lot...that's about how I feel. If we're scheduling the birth date, I'll be sure to let you all know when the big day is going to be. Blixx has a 4 day job offer next week, and wants us to schedule around it. I don't think he gets that they are inducing me to save me & the baby trauma during birth, rather than just a matter of convenience.

There's still so much to do to get ready for our little girl. Oh yeah, it's definately a girl. Because of the diabetes, they will be doing ultrasounds on me right up until birth to check the baby's health and size. I had the tech 'check under the hood' again just to be sure.

The baby is due in 21 days...3 weeks! OMG!

Memorial Day weekend rain rain go away! Everyone (except us) went camping at Otter River, but we managed to drive up on Friday night to do dinner with the gang and hang out. Tadpole came up for the night too. It was soggy but we still had a good time. I have to say that I was psyched that we went home, cuz the next day I was moving like an 80 year old walrus...apparently the damp weather effects my hips and back pretty badly. And imagine if I'd had to get up and go out for a walk in the rain every time I had to pee in the night. I never would have made it to the bathrooms. No way. Saturday we played Tomb Raider and just wasted the day away. SUnday we rented movies.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED: Adaptation, with Nicholas Cage. It's a trippy movie well worth seeing. If you enjoyed Memento...
GIANT CHEESE FEST: Star Trek Nemesis, but I expected nothing less. Or more.

Yesterday we drove down to Rhode Island to visit my buddy BazarJ. Dude puts on a great spred, with super yummy blade steaks and lobster! Surf & turf...I ate 2 lobsters and rolled on out of there stuffed to the gills. It was great to see him and meet his and his wife's family. I got to meet his 1 year old son Jackson and play with the other two boys. He's got another one on the way, so wife and I compaired notes. Awesome time!

Did I tell you that Blixx & I went canoing last week? Yep, he paddled me around in Sturbridge and we both got sunburns. I've got pictures if anyone is interested, just drop me a line. Gotta go pay some bills.

Peace.

Check out the fall tv schedules HERE.

The Buffy series finale is tomorrow night at 8pm. I've heard great things and that it will go out with a bang, but I just can't bear the thought that I will be without my Tuesday night fix forever. Angel is still around next season, with hottie Spike joining the cast, and Eliza Dushku (Faith) has a new pilot on Fox that looks promising...all in all I am in despair over the tv schedule.

Went to Wachusett Reservoir walking with Blixx yesterday. It was about 1 mile walk in the woods to a beautiful beach, where he showed off his skills in skipping rocks and I sat soaking up the sun. I want to spend as much quality time together with him as possible, since for the next 18 years or so we'll be distracted and overtired. It hits me more and more every day that we're going to have another little human being living with us, depending on us. The baby is due in less than 1 month. Wrap your mind around THAT.

Best Buy is offering 18 month no interest financing this weekend only, so I'm off to convince Blixx to get us a new system. Buy now, deduct on this years taxes, pay off next year, when I'll be employed. Sounds good to me...and I want to be able to burn CD's!

Matrix Reloaded kicked ass. Don't believe Tempest!!! Make sure you stick around through the closign credits for a preview of the Matrix 3. Yes, there could have been some editing done and there was a lot of blah blah blah. Most of the time I complain that movies are too action driven, with little motivational reasoning given for WHY the big fights occur...this one is different. It wasn't exactly what I expected, but still very much worth seeing on the big screen. I spotted a continuity error in the Agent Smith fight scene...anyone else catch it? Something is there one minute, gone the next, then back again. I did think some of the CG looked a little too Playstation but still the movie is a wild ride and worth seeing in the theater.

Woobie and his gf Anna from Siberia came up from Baltimore. He never changes, god love him! Toad & Birdgirl & Grips came over too. The lunar eclipse was less than stimulating due to the cloud cover, damn it.

Still alive & kicking. Ok, so it's the baby kicking. Actually, it's more like she's doing the Riverdance in there. Quite difficult to sleep through, that and the fact that rolling over in bed has now become a major production number. Oh, how I long for the bliss of sleeping on my tummy again. I'm feeling good all around, except for the not sleeping at night thing. Exhaustion wears me out after a couple of nights, so I do sleep, just not as much as I would like.

Nanny isn't doing well at all, so I'm coming to CT to visit her on either Thursday or Friday this week. My mom worries that I shouldn't drive. I've got a month to go and I feel fine, so I'm pretty sure that I don't need her to come up here & pick me up...like I want to spend time trapped in a car with her. Childhood trauma!

The baby shower was awesome and not at all the affair I had been dreading. JoJo came with her Hoochie Mamma sister and her youngest Jaydah, who is an angel. Jo makes some damn cute babies! Bex was there from my former employer, and Rox even showed up with her girls. And scarey Rita, who gave us a beautiful hand made baby blanket! Wow. My mom saved some of my baby clothes, including a Holly Hobby dress, and my old baby blanket and gave those to us. Tempest and Jacknife went all out on gifts, too many to mention them all, but they were a hit with the clothesline of baby clothes. I just love baby clothes...so little and pink and cute.

Yep, I'm turning into a girlie girl. Be afraid.

Mother's day is a bbq here at our house with both of our moms, as well as Grips and the whole clan, since they usually host every holiday we thought to give them a break. Now it's just getting the yard in shape to have folks over and praying for good weather so we won't all be jammed inside. I'm actually looking forward to playing hostess with the mostest.

X-2 was in fact quite awesome. Blixx & I saw it Friday afternoon on a date. I had thought it would get more into the whole Wolverine history with Stryker...no real details there. I mean, I know how the story goes - after 'dating' two comic officianado's in a row in the mid 90's - but I thought there would be more depth to that storyline in the movie. I'm also quite sure that more motivational plot should have been included in Pyro's journey to the dark side. There was definately more action and I did enjoy Nightcrawler (accent was a bit sketchy in places but hey) and I agree that there should have been more Colossus. In other news, I ate a whole LARGE popcorn...that big ass bag that it takes 2 hands to lift....yep, it went in my belly. I mean, Blixx had some I suppose, but it was mostly me. Popcorn is low carb so it qualifies as a food that I can eat 'free.'

Ok, got a wierd call yesterday morning. I answered the phone only because I knew it was a telemarketer, but boy was I in for a supprise.
"Mrs Blixx?"
"yes"
"I'm soandso from Obviously Slurred Name Law office. I'm calling to collect $136 on a bounced check you wrote to CVS. How would you like to handle this, Ma'am?"
"Um...What? Where are you calling from again, please?"
He slurs the name of the law office again.
"When did this alleged incident occur?"
"1996. Ma'am, please...how would you like to make payment for this?"
"You're collecting on a debt from 1996 that has never appeared on my credit report? On a debt that I have had no other collection activity on since 1996?!"
"I can't speak for previous collections. I just see here that you owe us this money."
"Sir, I can't make any decision on this alleged matter until I recieve some sort of written verification that the debt is valid. Until then, I will take no action. What is the name of the law office again, please?"
"Thank you, Ma'am. We'll send something right out."

Ok, first off while I admit that I wrote some rubber checks during my college years, I know without a doubt that I was well past that in 1996. Secondly, there's no way in hell that I'd even have to write a check for over $100 at a pharmacy. Thirdly, if this was the first contact for collections, then they would have only my maiden name and wouldn't have my current address. Lastly, dude couldn't really tell me where he was calling from. That they knew I was a potential mark for my past collection agency activity is something I wonder about, and I eagerly await something in the mail if this is a real thing. I was just so wierded out at the call. I wonder how many people fall for scams like that and just go ahead and send money without really thinking it through.

******

We survived Easter. We went to NH for dinner with my mother's Dick's daughter and family and had a really nice time. They live near a pond and we took a lovely after dinner walk in the beautiful weather. Mom wasn't too out of her mind, so all in all it went well. I cheated on my diet, cuz who can resist a cherry cheese swirl cake, and ended up with all normal blood sugar readings. I even chowed jellybeans! Dunno how it's possible, but who am I to question? Then other times I'll have some rice with dinner and it's sky high. Must mean that I should be on the all jellybean diet.

The nursery still isn't done, and the shower is this Sunday. I'm really looking forward to it, as some friends that I haven't seen in a while will be there. Better be there, JoJo! Tempest, Boogie Shoes and Jacknife are coming up Saturday, I think. We'll watch Krull and catch up.

I'm due in 8 weeks and I am really round. When I first found out I was pregnant I thought that 9 months was going to go on forever. Now it's almost over and soon there will be another member of my family. It really is a wonder. Lately, I've noticed that my belly will actually ripple every once in a while. It's like the kid is doing the wave in there or something. Totally facinating and I'm easily distracted by it.

Sherbear sent me some baby clothes and books and diapers from Florida. Her mother keeps sending her winter clothes...um...SHE LIVES IN FLORIDA! Whatever, I'm making out in the deal. There were some terribly cute things in there and I got all teared up. Yep, hormones are on overdrive. Baby got it's first stuffed animal too. Our friend DirtDirt came to MA from scenic Brooklyn on Easter, so he & his mom came over to our place. Grips & family, as well as Birdgirl and Toad stopped in too. It was nice to have people over. Since pregnant, I don't go to the usual hang outs any more and I feel a little disconnected sometimes from my friends. Like cuz I can't drink or be in a smokey bar I don't want to hang out.

I pee on a stick every morning to test my ketones, which measure how the body is burning energy while sleeping. I check my blood sugar level via a pricked finger 4 times a day. I am on a low carb diet, which means that I have to watch my sugar content, as well as laying off the pasta, rice, milk....the list goes on & on. Did any of you know that there are carbs in just about everything? And portion sizes listed on packaging...total crock!! I have to eat 6 smaller meals a day, rather than the traditional 3, which is a bit of a time hassle but I'm working on it.

I inject myself with insulin nightly, and as of yet there has been no drastic reduction of my blood sugar levels. Am I worried? Yep. Do I feel ok otherwise? Yep.

It was about a week after the diagnosis before I could get in to see the dietician and come up with a meal plan, so I was was winging it with the help of the wonderful internet. Turns out that I was drasticly underfeeling myself and that being pregnant I can't totally eliminate the carbs or the baby will have nothing to grow on. I still can't eat a hot fudge sundae, but at least I can feel full after eating a meal.

Tempest - please tell your family and grandfather that he's in my heart and prayers for a speedy recovery. Call me.

I failed my 1 hour glucose tolerance test, so they had me come back for the 3 hour test yesterday. For those unaware, they draw my blood then give me this soda sugar drink. I then have to wait an hour and they draw my blood again. For the 3 hour, I was stuck hanging around the hospital (with St. Blixx keeping me rational) and having to go back every hour for 3 hours to have blood drawn. Oh, and I had to fast since 9pm the night before. By the end of the test, I was grumpy and HUNGRY!!! Mmmm, that burger tasted good.

Anyway, I have gestational diabetes, which is to say that I'm diabetic for the rest of my pregnancy. I have a meeting on Thursday to learn how to prick my finger and test my blood, which will have to be done numerous times daily, then I'll meet with a dietician to come up with a meal and excersise plan. Pre-pregnancy I was not the most active person in the world and now that I'm all swollen with child I'm going to have to learn to get active. Arg!!!!!!! Not my idea of fun, but this is all worth it, right? Joy of motherhood, and all that crap? My blood sugar levels are quite high so I may have to inject myself with insulin too. I've been reading up and the diet changes shouldn't be all that hard to make - I can have some sweets even, but have to watch what else I take in for the day. I'll know more after my MD appt on Thursday.

What does this mean for the baby? Probably nothing. She'll be fine, although there's the risk that she'll be a big baby and that I may need to be induced some weeks prior to my original due date (June 18th) so that she won't rip me wide open on her way out. Love the imagery? Thought you would. I'm also at risk for having a c-section, again to avoid the complications of pushing a 10lb watermelon out of a relatively small hole. She could have difficulty breathing and any number of challenges in her young life, but this gestational diabetes is pretty common and all should be well.

Right?

We're getting old.

Grips's had his 33rd birthday party on Saturday night and none of us have the stamina to go the sistance any more. There was a time when we would have been smoking/drinking & whatnot into the wee hours of the morning. This time, we left at 10:30...and that was after most everyone else had already left. It's a sad day.

Tomorrow I'm going to see about updating the pictures so you all can see how round I'm getting. I should have a new ultrasound pic later this week too.

Right now, the baby just told me it's time to eat - again.

Peace.

Give the Lady a Cigar - Toad, Blixx & I were just discussing Monica Lewinski's brief brush with fame...and now this!

Howard Stern Sues Disney for 10 million - the new show 'Are You Hot' is a blatant rip off of a bit that Stern has been doing for years, called The Evaluators. And Stern does it better. Who cares what Lorenzo Lamas has to say about a no-neck guy? Get Snoop Dog & his posse in there to discuss if a woman is Ho worthy or not. Now THAT's compelling entertainment.

I'm beat today for some reason. I went up to bed at like 10:30 last night, intendign to read and nod off, but Grips called several times after 11 to discuss how he was drunk, it was his birthday & we are at war. They are calling this the Gulf War 2...ummm, can't we come up with something a little better than that?

We've got our neighborhood meeting tonight at 6:30. I'm hoping that our next door neighbor shows up so we can discuss how he was supposed to move all (shyt, even SOME) of the junk cars & boats off his property before 'the holidays.' The trucks he has parked on the street block my view as I back out of the driveway, and I almost got clipped again this am. I am extra sick of looking at all the crap he has in his yard. The house across the street from him has been for sale for almost a year with no takers, I believe in part to the less than scenic junkyard view they have across the st. I mean, I live on a city street in a row of moderate sized homes, nothing flashy or special, but lots of families and folks who care about their yards...then there is this sore thumb guy who cares NOT! Yeah, hormonal pregnant lady on a tear..he's screwed. I've printed out some info on donating vehicles to charities for tax deductions...that should motivate! Other than that, these meetings tend to drone on & on. Blixx will once again be absent, since he's working today.

Blixx working is a good thing, don't get me wrong. He was looking at having all of this week booked for a while there, but then that job got postponed. I've been on the look out for employment oportunities, even part time for him, but I don't think he's followed up on anything. I keep trying, but he just won't motivate to take growing his business seriously. I'm a little frustrated with his lack of motivation, but this he already knows. Perhaps some hormonal rage will do the trick.

Mmmmm chocolate.

So Rioux the kitten is no longer a man. He came back from the vet’s no problem, but more than a little groggy. No purring and he didn’t want to be cuddled. You really can’t blame the poor thing. We watched the movie Blue Crush (great shots of surfing but little of anything else) then Blixx went out boozing with Grips, and I went to bed early with the little guy pressed into the back of my knees sleeping it off. This morning he seemed good as new, purring up a storm and demanding sustenance.

They did work on the water main in my street yesterday afternoon, so when the H2O was turned back on it was running all brown and murky. I called the DPW and they said to let it run for a while and it would be fine. Unfortunately, I discovered this am that all is not fine. The drain in the tub was plugged up when I took a shower so the water pooled up, all icky around my ankles. I had no choice to just pretend that I was getting clean and move on. The drain was still plugged up when I left, and I really thought it was just me that couldn’t get the damn thing to work. I left a note for Blixx and blasted out of the house, running ever so late as usual. We live in an old house with old plumbing and apparently there was a clog just as old! Blixx spent the morning taking apart the tub and snaking the pipes. He sounded thrilled when I talked to him. I hope that the water is running clear now, and that if it isn’t that Blixx has called again to report the problem. I actually hope that Blixx is doing a lot of things today.

HAPPY ST PATRICK’S DAY! Would one of you please be kind enough to get sauced on my behalf this evening? Thanks. Don’t forget that you’re drinking for two.

I’m a working woman again, at least temporarily. My friend Pastor is on vacation this week and hooked me up with a weeklong receptionist gig at a law firm. So far, so good. The phones aren’t all that busy and everyone seems really nice. It’s strange to have to get up in the early am (for more than the inevitable pee) and to have someplace to go for the day. Of course, Murphy’s Law prevails and this week will be the first real glimpse of spring…and I’m stuck inside. I do get an hour for lunch and a couple breaks, so I’ve been walking around downtown. I actually broke a sweat at lunch!

Tomorrow is D-day for the kitten. He’s off to the vet to get the big snip snip, and just in the nick of time too because he’s getting really randy with the other cats and they have had just about enough of him. He still has the loudest purr ever recorded and likes to sleep under the covers between Blixx and I. His youthful enthusiasm is sometimes a bit hard to take, especially at 4 am when I’ve just managed to fall back to sleep.

The nursery is almost painted…just needs some touch ups. I did two-tone with light yellow on the top of the walls, and lavender on the bottom portion. Rather than a straight line of delineation between the two (like a normal person might have done) I did a wavy line in a light green. The green is also on the baseboards and door/window frames. You’re probably thinking Clown College, but I think it looks cheerful and nice. I’ll post pictures eventually so you can agree with me.

I caught up on some blogs over the weekend, and I have to agree with GClef that it is next to impossible to find maternity cloths, especially pants, for the petite. Too bad I can’t sew, otherwise it would be a great money making idea. I just went to the Maternity Outlet store, where things are still wicked expensive unfortunately, and exhausted myself trying on every pair of pants in the place. ALL were too long, except the capri’s which fit like regular pants until I wash them, at which time they will be highwaters and I’ll look like someone’s poor relation. I did manage to pick up two summer shirts because it’s a sauna in this office! My brain is melting!!!

Mom gave in to my choice of where the baby shower should be and says it’s all booked and ready to go, and that I don’t have to worry about another thing. That means, it will be smurfy and there’s nothing I can do about it. Whatever – these things are always smart & little. I believe it’s the last Sunday in April, but invites will be going out soon.

I’ve been feeling good, although I get tired in the afternoons. Bodily functions seem to be leveling off, which is a relief. My belly is getting rounder by the day, although I’ve had two people tell me today that I look great for someone just entering the 3rd trimester. Blixx and I went for a walk in the woods yesterday and for about a minute I was feeling great going up hill, without that burning lung sensation I used to have as a smoker. Then the extra 17 lbs of baby belly caught up with me and I was huffing and puffing again. Oh well. I’ve been a non-smoker for 4 months now and I wish I could say that I don’t miss it, but I do. Of course, then I get a whiff of someone in a store or out somewhere who smokes and I realize that I used to hork like that…makes me a little sick.

No, your eyes do not decieve you. I am back, however briefly.

To catch up:
I'm still pregnant & I've popped. No, my belly button has not gone all Purdue timer on me. I mean that (seemingly) overnight I have a pregnant lady belly. It was the strangest thing - one day I was checking myself out in the mirror, wondering who this heavier version of me was, then the next I'm all like hey there baby belly. Mostly I'm feeling good, but I was down for the count for several days due to lower back pain that wouldn't quit. Oh, how I long for the days when I could just take 2 little Aleve for any old ache & pain or when I could drink myself to sleep. Good times...good times. Bodily functions are all very dramatic - I'm HUNGRY, rather than hungry. I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP OR REST, rather than being a little tired. I HAVE TO PEE - that one you just have to get the hell out of the way for. I pee every 1/2 hour to 45 mins...if I sleep through the night it's a miracle. I don't even have to be fully awake to scuffle downstairs and take a leek then right back put my cold hands and feet on Blixx.

Feeling the baby move is a real trip. When it first started I wasn't sure if it was the baby or gas bubbles. As time has progressed, I can definately tell the difference. She (98% sure it's a girl from ultrasound - no amnio needle-in-the-where-now for me) gets really active if I have caffiene, or forget to eat for a few hours or am trying to lay down and relax. Blixx has been able to feel her too...the smile on his face was priceless. The past few days she's been moving around non-stop! My MD says that I'll miss it when she's not an inny any more. Next MD visit is the sugar test and I'm concerned that I'll have gestational diabetes...my sugar level was slightly elevated this last visit and I took great care to have a particlarly healthy breakfast before I went in...my fat cousin had diabetes with her pregnancy and it's on the list of things wrong with my grandmother too. I really hope that I won't have to go on a no-sugar diet...eating all the fruits and veggies and grains I'm supposed to have is already getting to me. Blixx will have to do all the shopping so that no boxed of Milano's get snuck in.

Speaking of my grandmother, her health is failing. She's on oxygen 100% of the time now, and her doctor thinks she's bleeding internally due to cancer. Nanny fiercly refused to go into surgery again. She also fights with the nurses and has been written up by the hursing home staff several times for her language and throwing things. She's not healty, but she's as mean as ever.

Still unemployed and it looks like it's going to stay that way for a while. I've broken the sloth habit by being sure to set an alarm every day so that I'm not wasting away in bed. Every day I make sure to get something done, be it a pesky domestic chore or getting the nursery all set. We made HUGE progress there this weekend...the room is cleared. I type to you from what used to be the guest room, and is now the office. Blixx is working most of this week (friggin finally biz is picking up!!!!) so I'm going to tackle painting with the assistance of the poor sap who asks "Can I help you?" at Home Depot.

Blixx is camping this weekend - yep, winter camping. No...thanks. Then I think a bunch of folks are going skiing for the day on Sunday or Monday, so I'll have some time to kill. Strange that he's been home almost every day for a month and now I won't see him for a week. I long for a 'normal' schedule. My mother is up my ass about planning the baby shower. She wants me to have input, then gets mad when I haven't researched any places in the 12 hours between phone calls. I really didn't think it was such a high priority, but she is looking to put on a good show, since (and she reminds me of this constantly) we ran away to get married and denied her the thrill of hosting a party, she's looking for something formal and expensive. Right now, she's tentatively booked the Publick House in Sturbridge MA, and we're getting together later this week to look at some other places out there. She is intensely not keen about my Mohegan Sun idea. Drat!

The baby says its time to eat again, so I'm off.

It's a girl!

Superbowl was a joke...not even an interesting game. I personally voted for Gannon as MVP...since he was responsible for giving the ball to the Bucks 4 times, including that game ending pass that nailed the coffin shut. It's a damn shame.

I'm still unemployed and if I don't get something soon I will be showing too much and the chances of me getting hired get slimmer and slimmer. Unemployment has kicked in so I've got $$ coming in, but I'm still waiting to hear from the state on reimbursing me for Cobra. I had wanted to hear before I wrote the giant check, but no such luck. I guess I gotta have it, so pay up I shall. My mother is up my ass cuz I've rescheduled the ultrasound appt with my doctor and she thinks I'm nuts to be waiting. She just wants to know what the baby is. We will be finding out, and now the general concensus is that it's a boy. We shall see. I will let you all know here, via the wonders of inviso text, once I get around to having them check under my hood, so to speak.

I am trying so hard to fight the sloth that threatens to suck me into it's depths and actually get some stuff done. I'm sitting in our office, which is a stye, looking around and knowing that it's gotta be moved into the guest room so that we can get going on the nursery in here. I've got some great ideas that will be so cute!!! Figuring that I'm 4 1/2 months pregnant now, that leaves 4 1/2 months to get it finished. And figuring that I'll be relatively useless for the last month or so (maybe not, but how miserable will I be when I look/feel like I've eated a beachball?) and that leaves us 3 1/2 months to get the nursery done. Oh, and to remodel the bathroom cuz we need a new tub and the plumbing in there is in crisis. I want to start these major projects NOW rather then later but Blixx seems so reluctant. I know he's worried about money...I am too, but we've got savings and these things need to get done! I'm up here looking for work, health insurance and other money saving options (didja know that you can defer your student loan payments when you are unemployed? That's$$ saved!!) while he's sitting downstairs in the messy livingroom watching crap on TV, wondering what I'm doing.

Yikes, that almost started to turn into a major bitch about my husband thing. I think I'll go talk with him directly about my frustrations, rather than bore you all here.

There's a lot about pregnancy that they don't tell you. I'm not sure who They are, but damn it SOMEONE should warn a girl. I'm in process of writing a sort of What Your Girlfriends Failed to Mention story/article. Maybe I can sell it, turn it into a book deal, then turn it into a movie of the week?! That would solve some $$ woes.

Still unemployed, but looking hard. I've lowered my standards to include anything where I don't have to be on my feet all day, and that has health insurance. Just about everyone (including my mother) has asked if Blixx is now looking for a full-time job. Nope. Even if he was, it's not like he'd have any better luck that I have had. It's brutal up here in Central Mass. I got a call from a trucking company looking for a dispatcher - I'll meet with them Friday. I just hope it's not sucking truck fumes...and that it pays more than $6/hour.

I've been fluctuating with moods - I'm either really impatient and can't move fast enough to get projects (be that house repairs/improvements, cleaning, shopping - whatever type of bug is up my ass on a particular day) done, or I'm a lazy slug who can barely roll over on the couch to dial the pizza man. Today was lazy day. Blixx was up and out of the house early for work, and I could have stayed up at 6am, but those of you who know me well will understand how unlikely that is. I awoke at 12:45pm with Cleo in the crook of my arm and the kitten on my lower back. I blame them.

Happy Birthday to Wryguy!

And big congrats go out to Obi & Disney on their anouncement! Woo Hoo!! These things always happen in 3's so watch out other bloggers...make sure no one is putting holes in your condoms.

Went to CT for the night and met some of Tempest & Purge's friends, did Christmas and birthday thing with them and Jacknife and generally hung around. Watched the Giant's nailbiter with Purge and realized that he takes his football even more seriously that I had originally imagined. It's personal. It was nice to get away, but I prefer to sleep next to Blixx rather than their smelly dog. Spent some time today searching for employment with moderate success. At least there were some listings in the newspaper - that's good news.

I hope all is well and that we all have a happy and healthy new year!