Tempest - just read your recent rantings. I say goodbye and good ridance to FD. You hate it there and you're hating yourself there. Get the hell out. Do it before the next wave of restructuring. There will never be a good time financially to quit - you just need to do it and then make due. Once you've got less $$ coming in, that should be the motivator you both need to quit with the mad crazy spending. PS. Didja buy that HDTV?

I figured I'd drop you all a line and let you know that I'm still alive and kicking, while I sit here on hold with the unemployment office. Bastards have me on hold for 19 minutes, then tell me it's gunna be another 16. Arg!

Still pregnant.
Most of the time I'm not morning sick, but just about once a week I'll spend the entire day too ill to move. Lovely, hu? I haven't started to show yet, but my pants are getting tight. I've already put a couple of pairs of jeans away and I'm just happier in elastic waist pants. I'm trying to eat right and all that crap...I haven't had a diet coke, cigarette, or other smoke in over a month. I treat myself to the occasional cup of coffee, but usually try to stay away from caffiene. I've had the occasional glass of red wine too - my doctor even said it would be ok. I'm all about the green leafy veggies and lots of fruits - can't seem to get enough clementines. Ok, and chocolate.

Still unemployed.
Birdgirl set me up with a friend at Clark University who was hiring, but the money would have come out to only slightly more than the unemployment check. Why work for it when they will give me $$ for free? Besides, this will force Blixx to take his business seriously. I'm still combing the newspaper and career sites, but I doubt I'll have much luck before next year, which right now is fine by me as I'm enjoying my vacation.

Screw waiting around on hold. I've got 15 rolls of film to get developed (haven't done it in like a year, so this should be interesting!) and a doctor's appointment this afternoon. I'll get around to publishing the ultrasound picks one of these days, I promise.

YES, I'M PREGNANT!!!!!

I'm entering my 11th week, due June 18th.
Yes, I'm fine, other than some morning pukes. Blixx knows and is fine too.
Shocker...yes. Happy...yes.

My mother still doesn't know so you CT folks keep this under wraps until after Thanksgiving if you wouldn't mind. She's gunna flip her lid.

I've quit smoking - cigs and otherwise. I have to get healthy.

There's big news a-coming fellow bloggers. Sit tight cuz this is gunna be a doozie. I can't spill the beans just yet, cuz all interested & involved parties haven't been informed but it's not something you'd expect from a girl like me, that's for sure. Oh yeah, big changes are in the winds.

Greetings all!
I'm doing ok. I read a book yesterday and cleaned both the kitchen and livingroom. Today I've send my resume out twice, paid some bills and looked into some budgeting issues. I contacted unemployment ( gotta wait for severence to end before that kicks in) and contacted Monster cuz they screwed me on vacation pay. I even remembered my Aunt's birthday and got a card. Now I'm off to the bank and post office, then I'll spend the afternoon painting our ceiling fan in the livingroom white.
Yep, keeping busy is the key. I can't let myself turn into a sloth couch potato - at least not every day!
Poor Bounce keeps IMing me asking where stuff is or how I used to do that...and I'm like sorry chickie but go ask your boss cuz I'm really not feeling too helpful lately. I don't want to be mean to her, but I'm not on the payroll any more so they can kiss my lily white.
Thanks to everyone who called or wrote me an e-mail. Your kind words are appreciated. I'm ok and we'll be ok. Thanks!

Chynakatt has joined the world of unemployed. I was laid off today. I get 4 weeks severance & my health insurance continues for 30 days, but after that it's SCREWED! I was so glad that Blixx was home this afternoon, although on his way out to work (which I'm glad for too!) so he could give me a giant hug.
It's for the best, I know that. I'll find something bigger and better. They cut me and Quietboy...and left Bounce to do everything! She's the one who's been literally begging to get laid off. I guess it really does pay to have big tits and a flat tummy. The irony stings. Off to finish the job search then check out General Hospital.

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while, but honestly not a lot blog worthy has been going on. I've been working at work (which I guess is new) and getting the house ready for the party on Saturday. Got Blixx some kick ass gifts - I think he'll be pleased.

Rioux is a little satan spawn bastard who has no concept of consequences and STILL hasn't learned what the word NO means. He's cute as a bug though, which keeps him alive. All the cats are getting along well. Koya still has an attitude and she can just look at him and he'll leave her alone - power of suggestion. Maybe I should take lessons from her.

I can't wait to see everyone this weekend and to catch up. It's going to be a good one, I can feel it. I'm out in a few minutes today and took Monday off for recovery. When you stop to think about it, the party is going to last through Sunday cuz there's a Pats game which means the drinking will start all over again.

Do I have a drinking problem? Nope, no problem drinking at all.

Peace all.

My New Philosophy

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was ull? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous -- yes.

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar -- effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix things. "Take care of the rocks first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

It was a nice weekend. Friday night we stayed close to home, as I was beat! Poor Grips had what we affectionately call a Groovy emergency. When his daughter V was 1 year old, we gave her a beenie baby bear called Groovy. She loves the little guy and drags him everywhere. Well, he turned up missing and nothing would calm her down. About a year ago we'd seen the same bear at the store and picked up a 'replacement Groovy.' Well, he called in a panic at 10pm on Friday begging us to toss the house and find it, because V was going balistic. As luck would have it, we were in fact able to locate it and save the day. Groovy got a makeover is all...he's no longer smelly and nasty but fresh out of the box new. Woo Hoo! She bought it!

I ended up going as a shooting star to that costume party...had a star on my shirt and bought a foam gun...when anyone asked what I was I shot them. It was pretty cool. Grips came over to our place after the party and hung out for a while.

Yesterday Blixx went over to Toad's to watch the game & I stayed home to clean up the house for the party. The weekends are so damn short when you're working full time, so I just had to get some stuff done. Too bad the game was so good that I didn't do squat until half time, but I managed to make some progress none the less. I've left Blixx a big old list of things to do this week to get ready - food is under control (thanks again Boogie Shoes!) and I should have at least most of my laundry out of the guest room so Tempest & Purge will have a place to crash. Jacknife is on the couch, unless we're able to get to the store and get a nice futon couch for the office like I wanted to.

Cleo actually licked and hung out with Rioux over the weekend. Koya still hasn't come around, but it's encouraging that they can all be in the same room now. Progress!

On my way home from work last night, Blixx called in a panic. “Bring home more candy!” Yep, our first Halloween as homeowners was a success. Other than the few roving bands of 15-year-old punks, there were some real cuties out there collecting candy. Blixx handed me a drink (it was green, we were in the spirit) when I came home…2 1/2 of these mixed drinks later I’m in my pj’s on the couch unable to move or speak intelligently. Good stuff…but I’m a little queasy today.

There is still far too much feline tension in my house. Cleo seems willing to talk about little Rioux, but Koya is dead set against him living to see another day. Much hissing and swatting going on, and the little guy taunts the bigger cats, then runs away. It’s amazing all the places he’s found to wedge himself…then stick his paw out to continue doing battle. He’s still cute and as far as I know still alive. We left all the doors open last night and there were no major catastrophes. Rioux slept in the bed between us and for a while Cleo even jumped up to her perch on my head, until she heard the kitten purring and had a little mental breakdown before taking off. Ug…4am I really don’t need to hear cats fighting.

We’re going to a costume party this weekend, at least for a little while. I don’t know what kind of scene it will be. I still don’t have a clue as to what I’ll dress up as, but my backup plan is to grab a “Hi, my name is…..” sticker from work and go as God. Or put a cook pot on my head…pothead!! Har Har Har!

Sunday is Pats vs Bills - or Brady vs Bledsoe. There are some serious bets going on around the office. I hope that the Pats rise above their recent SUCK playing and blow the Bill's away. Oh, it's good to dream...

Grips brought his sister Jillybean over last night. She's always got such funny stories! She's heading to Buffalo NY to work on a farm for 7 weeks this winter to 'get away from it all.' I admire her sense of adventure.

So we're heading to bed last night, all snuggled up and ready for a good night's sleep, when little Rioux starts yowling from the guest room. It seems that he had no desire to be alone for the night. We thought about bringing him in with us, but that means locking Cleo out of the bedroom and that wouldn't fly at all. So, Blixx gets up and says "I'm just going to go calm him down for a while." Yep, when I woke up this morning it was Cleo pressed against me, not Blixx. He fell asleep in the guest room with the kitten. They were quite cute when I went in there this morning, but I missed waking up next to him. I suspect that we'll have the kitten in with us tonight and poor Cleo will have to suck it up on the couch.

Plans for Blixx's 30th birthday party are coming along well. I've been able to track down a bunch of folks from his old company, as well as invite new friends. I'm thinking that I'll serve hot & cold apps during the day, but I'll need to supply some sort of sustinance for anyone (the too old or too young are asked to leave at 7pm) sticking around into the night. I'm thinking crock pot chili and corn bread, but I will happily take suggestions on something I can either pre-cook or just warm up for a dinner type thing. Hmmm...maybe a taco bar. Ew! I give myself such wonderful ideas sometimes.

We got the kitten last night and he's super cute. I watched 24 (OMG! a hacksaw?) while Blixx was upstairs playing with him. I came up at 10 to find the two of them sacked out on the guest bed napping away. The kitten's name is Rioux, pronounced Ru and he's mostly orange tabby, with some white on his face and paws. He has the loudest purr ever...no seriously you can hear him all over the house, much to the displeasure of the two bitch cats. Cleo seems intriqued with the idea that the kitten is on the other side of the door (total separation will turn to subervised visits after a couple of days) but Koya is having dramatic fits all over the house. She can smell him and she's pissed. I hope they get over it sooner rather than later.

Which Disney Princess are you?

Today’s quote of the day brought to you by Beer – it’s not just for breakfast any more. "There are never enough words to express your love for a person, but there are always more than enough words to describe what you did in the bathroom five minutes earlier."

I am so not a morning person, yet I was up at 6am today. I had an interview with a company called Crewstar today at 8:15am and I need to extra time to wrestle into panty hose and actually do my make up in the house, not on the highway doing 90. I am cautiously optimistic about the interview. I don’t have the video/film production experience that other candidates have, but I’ve got the customer service background. He even gave me a test on some basic industry terms and I got them all correct! Ok, so any dope can figure out what a c-stand and flag are, but a chimera? Betacam? Oh yeah, I’m good. Ok, so I’ve been forced to listen to the industry babble from Blixx & Grips and picked a few things up along the way. Frankly, I got lucky. But c’mon, who of you out there knows what a Grip or Gaffer really are? Hu? He also gave me 4 ‘usual’ things and assuming that they all happen at the same time, asked me to prioritize them. I think I got some points when I put the new business first. Whatever. These folks are notoriously cheap so we’ll see what happens, but I think it really went well.

Took off the panty hose in the car on the way in to work. I thought ahead and brought pants to change into. I’m wicked frickin smart.

Here I sit at work with little actual work to do. We went from panic mode that there was too much for all of us to do (ah, last week…the good old days), to this giant slow down. I’m actually thinking about going in to Dino and asking for more work. Of course, I don’t want to admit to him how many hours I spend a day surfing the internet because even he might think it off that they pay me to spend my day here blogging to you. I’ve got to put in an office supply order today – big fun! I’ll have to drag it out for a while to amuse myself.


Speaking on Internet surfing, I urge all of you to check out lowbrow.com. Here’s a tasty little excerpt:
Halloween
I'm dressed as a dominatrix, the easy last minute costume
Drunk, stoned,
I wrestle with a stranger in a kiddy pool full of jello. it is situated in the living room for just this purpose
the jello is freezing
he lets me win
in my drunken triumph i go home with him
we are in his well lit house
i am becoming dangerously sober and i see that he is
at least
15 years older than me
and his nose is caving in from all the coke he's done
it becomes clear very quickly that he believes
this is no costume
and he begs me to tie him up
I do a line and say
what the hell
But while trying to bind him with my fishnets his Rottweiler begins to growl
and bark
I run out the door and down the street
leaving him with his arms securely tied above his head
Dogs scare the shit out of me.


Or…
he stared at me incredulously and said, "you'll suck my dick, but you won't use my toothbrush?"
it was hard to deny that kind of logic.

Yes, it’s little gems of information that keep this girl going. I don’t think I’ll talk to Dino about more work today. I’m too tired. I think I’ll take a long lunch, and then order office supplies for a few hours, then maybe take off a little early. Yeah, that’s sounding so much better.

The band was really good Friday night. We ate at the Inn (arg, too much garlic on my Caesar, but Blixx’s lamb was heaven) then had several pops before heading home. DrJim had too many before we even got there so he wasn’t his usual talkative self. Unfortunately, High Octane was there and WAS herself…she just rubs me the wrong way. I snapped at her so I’m thinking that she got the hint. Oh well.
Saturday I brought Cleo to the vet. I didn’t even have time to drink my coffee before they brought her back out and said she was all set. Um, ok. So much for the big appointment and seeing the vet and all. The fridge arrived and was almost too big to get in the house. We tipped well. The thing is super gymungus and is perfect. Yes, a pizza box fits in there nicely so drunk girl doesn’t have to deal with Tupperware. We didn’t manage to get the icemaker stuff hooked up – it was so rainy and miserable out. Besides, we discovered a fairly sizeable leak in the basement that took up some time. It’s not as bad as my mother’s basement, but certainly something to look at. Ah, the joys of home ownership!
Sunday I was a lazy beast. After Blixx cooked me a wonderful omelet for breakfast, we took a shower and I was a little tired. I lay down in the bed and was out like a light. I napped for most of the afternoon. Birdgirl and Toad came over for the game, but were locked out cuz Blixx had headed off for propane, so I awoke to my cell phone ringing. Yeah, they were drinking beers in our yard and wanted to be let in. So much for all the house cleaning I’d wanted to get done in the afternoon. Eh…we drank ourselves silly watching the Pats suck again. I managed to give myself quite a burn on my hand too. The oven didn’t open all the way and snapped back to hit the bottom of my hand as I was putting the tatertots in…OW!! I think it hurts more today that it did yesterday, which is a bummer cuz it hurt a lot yesterday!

It’s been low key around the homestead, which is fine by me. Wednesday night Blixx wasn’t feeling well so we went to bed at around 10. Wow, it felt weird to get a good night’s sleep on a weeknight! I’m totally not used to it. Last night we just hung out and watched the boob tube and ate a lovely London broil for dinner. I know, too exciting! Can you stand it?!
This evening we’re heading out to see Bruce Marshall Band play at Johnstone’s. The bass player is a former co-worker of Blixx’s and they put on a really good show. I’m looking forward to it. Saturday we’re getting our new fridge delivered so big excitement there. We’ll have to hook up the water for the ice machine, so it’ll be back to Home Depot for us, yet again. I swear we’re living at that place these days. Cleo the cat is also getting her stitches removed so more kitty trauma. Sunday is a late football game for the Pat’s so maybe we’ll have some folks over and use the new grill. Or maybe we’ll just lounge around in our pj’s. Nah, those days are over.
So, I’ve been sending my resume out via Monster every chance I get, as well as using the competition and local newspapers. This has been going on for some time and I usually try to send out at least one a day. I have a (pat on the back) very well written cover letter in which I give my requested salary range. It’s right on there in black and white, to discourage anyone who can’t afford me from calling back. Damn, if I haven’t had the worst luck. I just got a call back from a local leasing company who was listing an Administrative position who’s job description was super involved and sounded great…and they want to pay in the low 20’s. Um, I really don’t think so. Why the hell would they call me?!?! Why waste my time?!?! I’m really getting sick of this.
Funny that as I typed the above rant against companies, I got another call. This time it was from Crewstar, a film/video payroll and booking company. He’s an honest guy and asked up front what my salary requirements are exactly…and he didn’t flinch when I told him. I’ve got an interview on Tuesday morning. Fingers crossed.

Actual work at work. It was bizarre!
Not a whole lot to write about. Sorry.

Leaving the house after a few glasses of wine last night, I go to blow out the candle. It's one of those jar types and had been burning for a couple of hours, so there was a lot of melted wax on the top. I blew a little too hard, because wax ricochetted off the jar & came up and got all over my face and eye glasses. Yep, I had wax everywhere and gave Bex a good laugh as I picked it out of my hair on the way over to Vincents.

This is the second idiotic thing that's happened to me this week. I wonder what the third will be?

Friday night we went to my old bosses house to get the grill, only to find the thing is too big to fit in the Jeep. So, we had a few drinks and apps with them before scooting home. I hear from her that Dino knows someone at the company where I interviewed...which is how he knew. Funny that he'd discussed this whole scenario with her, and yet he went to great lengths to let me know that our conversation was confidential. Yeah, right! After all my pontificating about not having friends at work, it turneds out that Jax just might make the cut.

Saturday we awoke and tackled the cabinet moving project, which went really well. We moved the floor cabinet only to find that they didn't put the linoleum underneath it, so we had to put it back where it was. Plenty of mouse crap back there too. Lovely. There WAS however some hardwood flooring down there, that needs some serious work. I wonder if it's worth refinishing...but we'll cross that bridge much much later.

We rented Scorpion King on Saturday - what a crapfest that movie is!!! I didn't like it much at all.We also went out for Chinese food and just HAD to get a Scorpion Bowl (Scorpions are a theme I guess). Anyway, it went right to my head and...as embarrasing for me to admit this...Blixx will tell you anyway...

I walked into a lightpost.

Yep, leaving the front of the restarant I was looking across the street checking out the scene at a bar when I just walked right into a light post. First words out of my mouth to Blixx - "You didn't see that, didja?" I have to give him credit. He did ask if I was Ok before busting out laughing. It's still chuckle worthy material.

Jax and family brought over the big ass grill on Sunday while they were on their way to the No Doubt concert in Worcester. I vow never to cook meat again, as Blixx will now be in charge of all grilled beast! It needs work and a good cleaning, but we had grilled sausage sandwiches for dinner last night and they were out of this world!

I believe I expressed concern over my cat Cleo not eating after surgery. She was still not doing well on Friday night, and with us being 3 sheets to the wind we never gave her her pill. Saturday morning I came downstairs to find her by the food bowl, demanding a feeding. So I did, sceptical that things could change overnight...and she wolfed it all down and demanded more. Yep, our Cleo is back to being her old self. So, we made the executive decision to stop giving her the medications and it seems that we've made the right choice. She's playing with a great deal of energy, socializing with us as usual (granted, that involves napping next to us on the couch, but still...she's there) and eating like a pig once again. We're watching for signs of infection or that anything is wrong, but she's so much better. I just hope that she'll be ok for not having the full course of antibiotics and that Blixx & I aren't just being wimps for not wanting to shove pills down her throat twice a day.

Ok, so I’m a little freaked out right now. My boss Dino brought me into his office today to discuss how disappointed he was that I banged in sick yesterday, rather than just tell him that I have an interview. I’ve got no clue how he knows, but he knows. He’s all pissed because he thought we had such a great relationship and are ‘friends’ yet I couldn’t be honest with him. Um…we’re not friends dude. Hate to tell you, but I really don’t have anyone here at work that I would consider my friend. There are plenty of nice folks that I’d hang out with, but no one that makes it into my inner circle. I only told one person here that I was interviewing and I know that she didn’t say anything – she used to work for Dino too and completely understands that he’s a tool. I’m all worried that he knows I’m looking so that if layoffs were to come around again (strong rumors for November) that I’d get bumped to the top of the list because I’m not ‘loyal’ to the company.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I went to get my nails done at a new place during my lunch hour today, and found that there are in fact nail girls who aren’t Vietnamese. Who knew? She was quick and did a great job, but bitched the whole way through about her husband and kids. I was in there for 40 mins and heard more than I ever dreamed about her life and family – all I did was ask her how she’s doing today! Her hubby is Chinese (she’s from Portugal) and is traveling for work for the past 4 weeks. She’s all ticked that he leaves her alone with the 3 kids…and she tells me that he keeps thinking that she’s a nice docile Chinese girl who’ll take his shyt…he’s going to be sorry he left when he returns. Quite amusing, and kept me from dwelling on the work issues.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS NEEDED PRONTO: I’m invited to a costume party and have absolutely no clue what I should be. Any ideas are appreciated. In recent years I was a gypsy (which involved wearing a regular summer outfit of flowy skirt and scarves) and the black hole where single socks go (black dress, socks pinned all over it, witchy hair). I’ve been a witch. I bought horns from King Richard’s Faire and wore them with a red dress to be the devil. I need something where I’ll be comfortable drinking, not too much makeup, and warm since I’ll be in and out of the house, but something fun. All ideas are welcome! My backup plan is to wear all black and go as a theater techie but I’m hoping I’ll be inspired before then.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This weekend’s plans:
Go get the free grill from my co-worker after work tonight, maybe see a movie at some point, defiantly move that kitchen cabinet for the fridge, some laundry, maybe help Blixx install the ceiling fan in our bedroom, decorate a little more, re-clean the wine stains on my rug.
Oh yeah, who was it that said OxyClean is so damn good? I still have stains!!! I’m gunna have to try it again.

Cleo is back from the vet with a shaved ass and two less teeth. Koya hates her for whatever reason, so there's feline tension all over the house. Cleo is usually a docile beast, the kind of cat who lets you do anything you want to her, as long as you're petting her. Well, she used to be docile anyway. She's got all sorts of meds to be on and getting her to keep pills down is posing quite the challenge. I was late to work today because we had to try numerous methods to get her to actually swollow the damn pills. Then there's a patch thingie that has to be attached to the indide of her gums...ug! I challenge any of you to get see the inside of your cats gums for 3 seconds...let alone afix something to it! Oh yeah, big fun at the OK Coral!

I'm banging in sick tomorrow for some interviews. Unfortunately, I'm not feeling particularly well either. Why is it that I always get really sick when I pretend to be sick? Never fails. Two interviews tomorrow, and I'm trying for three. Hopefully one will stick and all will be well. Around here, Bounce has informed me that she's moving to NJ in the next month or two and doesn't give a crap about anything here at work. Great attitude to be working with. Eh, no better than mine really cuz I couldn't give two shyts either.

Me and my negativity are heading back to work now, and possibly leaving early today too, just for shyts and giggles. It's raining and I want to go home and cuddle up on the couch with a book. Realisticly, there's laundry to be done, vaccuming, I still have to Oxyclean the wine stains on my new rug...but perhaps a quick little nap could be fit in there. A girl can dream, can't she?

We took Cleo to the vet today for her dental work and to have the 'mass' removed from her back. Blixx just got a call saying that she's coming out of the anethesia just fine. The mass was a tumor, but they believe it to be benign. She'll be without her front two teeth (are they canine teeth, even on a feline? ponder) and we'll have to keep an eye on her, but it looks like she'll be ok. Woo hoo!

I'm not having people over tonight for Buffy, cuz I'm beat and Cleo needs her rest. I plan on doing some light housework then it's right into my PJ's and right to bed after the show. No bar hopping for this girl tonight.

Saturday we bought a new fridge. It's way bigger than we need, but was actually more energy efficient than the smaller model so what the hell. The 14 month no interest financing was too good to pass up. It's taller than the one we have, so we'll need to move the cabinet up about 6 inches. It doesn't get delivered for 2 weeks, so we've got plenty of time for construction/demolition. I'm actually looking forward to making a big chance in the house! We were up past midnight cooking and preparing for our NH adventure, so 8am came early with Birdgirl knocking on the door.

Camping:
It started as drizzle, that annoying rain that clings to you and makes you damp and fogs up your glasses. It then progressed to an all out downpour – and stayed there! We got there with enough time to set up before the game, so we got things in order. Toad & Tadpole were the advance team and had major tarp all set up and ready to go, which was a major bonus. We went to a sports bar at Waterville Valley Resort (nice place) and watched the first 3 quarters of the Pat's game before we were disgusted and had to leave. Back to camp...and it's raining. It continued to rain through the evening into the night, which dampened our plans for running around. We stayed under the tarp and the boys drank like fish. We ate like kings but the bad weather was a real bummer as far as hanging out goes, so we went to bed relatively early. Then the wind came and took out our tarp. I really thought our tent was going to fly away in the night…it actually waited until we were breaking down camp yesterday, but still…quite the gusts. We didn't sleep well, waking every once in a while fearing that the tent would blow away. I'm thinking Wizard of Oz swirling into oblivion. Toto?
Yesterday Blixx & I separated from the fray and did some driving around and leaf peeping. We went to The Flume and had a nice hike around there. It's a really beautiful place and we took a ton of pictures. I picked up a bunch of leaves, because I've got this crazy art project idea for them. More info to follow (i.e. if it comes out, you'll hear about it. If it stinks, then no further mention).

All in all we had fun, but it certainly wasn’t the best camping experience of all time. We should have stayed longer and the weather was a total drag. Oh, and the pit toilets left much to be desired.

I’m tired and sore from the cold and have the sniffles and want to go home.

Well, the weather report isn't looking pretty for camping this weekend. Why does it always rain? WHY?!?!?!
Tadpole is coming up tonight to hang with Toad, then they are venturing northward into NH. I think they plan on climbing Blueberry Mountain, but I'm not sure. Then they will meet us Sunday afternoon at the local brewpub to watch the Pats. After the game (fingers crossed that the Pat's will get their head out of their ass) we'll head over to a campground and set up for the night. Or, if we get their early enough we'll set up before the game. I kind of like the idea of watching in the comfort and warmth of a bar, but we might just chill and watch on the portable TV around the campfire. I guess it depends on the weather. Monday Blixx and I are going to separate from the motley crew and go drive around NH and see the sites. There are some waterfalls and hikes that I'd LOVE to check out. I'm looking forward to it. I'm sure we'll drop a pretty penny at the state liquor store too, as we always enjoy tax free nh!
Tomorrow will be house cleaning, preparation for camping & buying a new fridge. The one that came with the house still works but has seen better days, and Home Depot is running no interest financing until January 2004! Yep, that's over a year to pay it off, so we're going to go for it. I want a nice side by side model with baskets in the freezer to contain the numerous bags of dinner that I'm always buying. We should be able to get out of there for under a grand, but there's always the $2500 stainless steel model I've had my eye on. Yeah, right. Blixx wants to pitch the old fridge, but I vote that we keep it (it still works, all be it not efficiently and the motor makes a wierd thunk sound every 10 mins) and use it on holidays or for beer at big parties. He thinks I'll give in and let it go...silly boy! Either we keep it or sell it...anyone want to buy a clunky fridge?

2 Christmas's ago Blixx's mom got us a gift certificate for hot air ballon ride. We prompty forgot all about it, or discussed that we really SHOULD do it, but never actually scheduled. It expires November 1st and I've been franticly calling around to try to make a booking. Yeah, no luck there! I just caled and convinced them to extend the certificate through 2004. Man, I'm good sometimes!!!

Birdgirl brought our kitten to be over last night for a visit. He's the cutest little thing ever. Orange all over, except for his four paws and a bit on his nose and belly. Cleo & Koya were non too excited to meet him, but there were no bloodly battles so I count that as a good sign. Ok, so we watched them like a hawk and yelled when the hissing escalated. Cleo looks like she wants some BBQ sause before she eats the little guy. We left Blixx and the kitten to get aquanted while we went out to Vincent's for a couple of drinks. Someone had math jokes. Math isn't funny, no matter how many drinks you drink. It just isn't.

Buffy was good. Not great, but good. Willow is back so everything should be moving forward from this point on.

Tonight is the series premier of Birds of Prey on the WB at 9pm. Be aware that the show will run long - 70 minutes I hear. It's a mutation of the DC comics universe, but I'll be happy to check it out if it's any good.

Kitten names...help me out here. Blixx likes Perrin (from Robert Jordan Eye of the World series), and I do too. I also like Doyle, Merlot (Merl for short), Loki, & Moxie. E-mail me if you have any other suggestions.

I called the vet who did the exams on the cats. Apparently, they want to run the EKG on Koya just because she needs a teeth cleaning (did any of you know that you’re supposed to do that every 6 months?!?) and they put her out. Before they do anesthesia they need to check her heart. Ok, so she’s probably not going to keel over any time soon. Woo Hoo! I was reading up and I can actually brush my cat’s teeth…if I wanted to. Heh…no. On Cleo, they will remove the teeth that are problematic and just remove the growth on her back as a precaution. It’s not necessarily cancer, but we won’t know until they check it out. So, I shouldn’t panic. Excellent…no panic.

I’ve got a couple of interviews set up for next week, which is cool. I sent a bunch of résumés out today as well. I’m increasingly displeased with my current work situation and fearful of a layoff. I’m smart enough to know that they could cut me (and my group) right out of the company no problem, but are THEY smart enough to know that. I doubt it, but we shall see. Is it wrong to be wishing to get laid off?

It’s the usual Tuesday night for me, beginning with Buffy and ending with a hangover tomorrow morning from Vincent’s. I haven’t heard from Birdgirl today, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she just showed up for Buffy tonight.

Interested in being grossed out? Need to kill 8 or so work hours reading filth and obnoxious stories. Check out my new best friend LowBrow.com. Not your Mom’s website. Well, if it is your mother is a dirty rotten slut.

The Cats: Came home Friday to a distraught Blixx who informed me that our cats both have serious medical problems. Cleo (the fat one) has bad teeth (almost to the falling out stage) and a lump on her back that might be cancer. She's scheduled for surgery next week. Koya (the fluffy one) we are told, needs an echocardiogram to diagnose the severety of her heart murmur. I always knew she had one, but this new vet seems to think it's serious. Now, I'm all for the care and wellbeing of my animals and I certainly don't want them to be in pain, but if Koya has had this problem for years I don't see what a thousand dollars worth of tests are going to do for her. With her, I say let it go and if one day tragedy strikes and she keels over chasing around the house, then at least she went out with a smile on her cat face. She HATES the vet...I really think they were mean to her when she got fixed, because she came back super skittish of handling and ever since she's had real trust issues. So of course her heart was racing when the vet checked her!!! Cleo is another story. She's over 10 years old and her teeth are probably really hurting her, so we'll be sure to get them taken care of. The lump will be poked and proded. Due to the medical traumas and the impending surgery, we didn't get the kitten this weekend. I spoke with Birdgirl and she said she'll hold onto the little guy, but that she'd had other offers so...

The Livingroom & Guestroom: We have an honest to goodness grown up living room that will blow your mind. We bought this beautiful entertainment center and matching bookcase at the unfinished furniture store -they are gorgeus! We also got a beautiful light green carpet for the floor and moved some stuff around to make the room apear more spacious. It really came together well. I also (gasp!) got my shyt together and made the guest room less of a closet and more of a guest room. Our old mattress/bed is set up in there (which the cat's enjoy - their own little spot) and a chair. It's a cute little get away room. We got a nice oriental knock off runner for the entry hallway and the sunflowers look beautiful in the livingroom. Next step in there will be art work for the walls and painting. The guest room needs more work, but it's a HUGE improvement from the rathole I'd created. Our house is coming together folks and I'm damn proud.

Let's see. We got the new mattress and it's wonderful. Blixx's mom came up Saturday morning and was quite impressed with our home. We had a nice lunch and checked out her pictures from her recent trip out west. Not a bad visit at all. Saturday was the all day shopping event, followed by lugging and decorating, which culminated with Grips coming over. Sunday we didn't sleep in because Koya learned how to turn our stereo on and did so at around 10am!!! Blixx made omlettes and we watched in horror as the Pats got intheir own way and blew the game. We took a nice walk down the street to get the newspaper and some air in the evening.

Ok, as we're walking back home we pass by a girl walking the other way. We get up another 20 feet or so and I see a guy in the bushes following her. He was being pretty obvious but it still seemed wierd, so I turned around and yelled "Hey lady! Did you know you're being followed?!?!?!" She turned and the guy cursed...luckily for her it was just a friend goofing on her. Blixx was all like "I wish you wouldn't do that" but I figured it was better to be safe and give the girl some warning or something. What would I have done if the guy had come out of the bushes after me? Now, that's a damn good question that I'm glad I don't have to answer.

Blixx worked for HGTV yesterday and brought me home the most wonderful bunch of sunflowers from the set/home. It's HUGE - a big glass vase filled with at least a dozen beautiful flowers. They look wonderful in the diningroom. He also described the 8 million dollar house he was in until I was drooling. The master bath is twice the size of our livingroom..

Omaha Steaks finally showed up (still frozen. Woo Hoo) in a box with dry ice. Of course...science experiments ensued until the wee hours of the night. Dry Ice and red wine are coooooool, man. I'm tired but functioning - marginally.

Repairman came and fixed our oven today. $200 later and I can now bake, so I'm thinking that I'll take it as a sign and make some brownies or something. Mmmmm brownies. Blixx is taking both of our cats to the vet today for pre-kitten check ups - I hope he makes it. My little devils can be quite the handful, especially when under stress. The little one will go sometime next week. I absolutely can't wait to have a furry little orange ball of energy flying around the house. Everyone please remind me that I said that next week when I'm pulling out my hair, will ya?

Blixx's mom, our new mattress and the kitten arrive tomorrow. Big day that starts early.

TV NEWS:
Watch Firefly on Fox tonight at 8pm. Saturday at 4pm on WB is the season premier of Mutant-X. Yep, somehow it got renewed. Cruel Intentions is playing at 5pm on USA – one of my favorite movies, showing SMG’s dark side. Wild Things (Matt Dillon, Neve Cambell) is on USA at 7pm. Trading Spaces is on TLC all night, as well as the new show While you were Out. Pats are in Miami on Sunday to squish the fish. Watch the season premier of Angel at 9pm on WB this Sunday - or tape it & watch Alias on ABC. Decisions, decisions. Thank the gods for the vcr.

I got a call about that job today. They sent me an application.
And a release for drug testing.

There are things I could do to 'fake' the test (Tempest, can I borrow some pee please?) but there isn't enough time. They want to get hiring ASAP and I'd need at least a month.

Crapass.

Something to chew on:

Insanity (def): Doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting a different outcome.

The interview went really well. It's a new position supporting a 7 person sales staff - no babysitting required. The interview was offsite due to construction in the Worcester office, and the lack of walls for a private meeting. No issues with salary or benifits and I like the guy I interviewed with. If I'm still in the running, he'll schedule an interview with the regional muckety muck dude for early next week, and he's eager to get someone in who can think on their feet. I'm trying not to jinx myself by getting too excited.

My boss is out today, so I think I'll bang out earlier than usual. I came in late, took a long lunch and will leave early. Ahhh, a good day.

Didja see Buffy last night?!?!?!?! OMG!!!

I meant to recommend Boomtown (Sun 10pm NBC) to you all. It was absolutely enthralling, and certainly a different take on the usual cop show. I could liken it to Memento or Go, in that it slips in and out of time, moving between different charactors. Very well acted and different from anything else out there right now.

Latest news is that Blixx and I have bought a new mattress set, to be delivered on Saturday! I can hardly wait - it will be such an improvement. I know it was purely psychosymatic (sp?), but neither of us slept well last night on the old mattress...thinking of the new. The sales lady pushed us to get a low profile boxspring, but we went with the normal kind...I'm a little confused as to why it meant so much to her, but we're done sleeping close to (on) the floor so we want it up up up!

I've got an interview with ATT tomorrow. I'm meeting the guy at Starbucks, because it's an 'open concept' office with no private spaces to meet. I'm smelling something fishy there, but I'm going because the salary & benifits are just too good not to explore further. I surmise that I'm taking someone elses job - and that person doesn't know it yet. I'll give ya all the skinny tomorrow.

This evening, Birdgirl and Callista are coming over to watch Buffy with me, then we're heading up to Vincent's to do the Tuesday night thing there. I think I'll get a chocolate martini...they are very good! Must be the lack of gin. I'm actually not sure how they can get away with even calling it a martini...other than the glass it's served in the beverages are nothing alike.

I'm off to pest at our IT department yet again to give me a new PC so that IE won't keep crashing out on me whenever a popup window appears. It's rather annoying.

My company tried to kill me on Friday. They served burrito's for lunch. I will spare you all the details by simply saying that it was a rough night on Friday. I wasn't even able to go out and meet BoogieShoes or see the Rovers. I closed my eyes for just a second...an hour later Blixx tells me that he called BoogieShoes to let them know that we wouldn't make it. I'm bummed, but there's always next time.

Saturday was the Saner wedding. They are the cutest couple ever...truly. They played the Star Wars theme when the couple walked into the reception...reminding me of Mortal Combat from the Tempest/Purge wedding. We danced a few dances and ate our fill, but we didn't know too many people there. The woman sitting next to us refused to have her picture taken...because she can't stand to see herself. She said she can't even look at herself in the mirror...dead serious. I've got issues, but DAMN! We took the long way home and had a wonderful romantic night - weddings remind us just how much we love each other.

Sunday was a late Pat's game so I convinced Blixx to leave the house and we went mattress shopping. We're pretty much decided on the Simmons Beautyrest, because each side is individual so when one person is flipping and flopping around, the other doesn't get bounced off the bed. That should get delivered this week and I can't wait! We rearranged the bedroom last night and I think we've found the final set-up that works for everyone. I still have to get decorating in there - it looks so barren. For that matter - I've got to get decorating the whole house.

I never did get a call back on that job interview I had last week, which has me bummed out. I do have the ATT interview on Wednesday, although I haven't gotten directions to the office yet. Patience...nope, not me! I've got a couple of decent leads from the newspaper yesterday too so I'll be spending my lunch hour, yet again, faxing and e-mailing out my resume to everyone and anyone who will have me. I swear that looking for a job is a full - time job.

Arguing about money is such a predictable thing for a married couple to do.

I got some fairly amusing e-mails today so I thought I'd share:

You Know When You're Living In The 02's When:

1. You have 5 passwords, but can only remember one.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line.

8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

9. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

10. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

11. You can only write on 'sticky pads'.

12. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.

13. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.

14. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.

15. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.

16. Interviewees, despite not having relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.

17. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.

18. Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the latest features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours
boots up.

19. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.

20. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.

21. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".

AND THE CLINCHERS ARE..

22. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.

23. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends".

And another that amused me:

Several cannibals were recently hired by a big corporation. "You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing.
"You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees". The cannibals promised.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our admins has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads no.

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the admin ?" A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Managers and no one noticed anything, then you had to go and eat someone they would miss!!!!!!!"

The interview went well. The only problem is that I don't think I want to work there. It's a small office on the grow, looking to get bought out by a bigger company. Dude I spoke to made all sorts of promises for advancement, but couldn't back it up with any success stories. And despite the fact that my requested salary is right on my resume and cover letter, he said that the top they would offer is 1K less than what I wanted, which is fine cuz that's still in my ballpark, but it pisses me off that they can't friggin read! It's in a rough spot on Rt 9 too that would be a huge hassle to get out of to get home every day, AND I'd have to pay for the Mass Pike. I expect a call for a second interview, but I'm not sure that I'll go. It was a good experience though and makes me feel good that there's hope for me yet.

The Buffy premiere was excellent, with tons of one liners and kick ass fight scenes. Even little Dawn wasn't so annoying. Lots of things are left hanging and I'm hopefull for a good season. Birdgirl came over and watched with us, then we headed over to Vincent's for a few pops. One thing lead to another and I found myself stumbling in the door after 1am. ARG! It was a rough morning, but the java is doing it's job so I'll survive. Diet Coke is my lifeline, and I'm a huge fan of the lemon flavor too.

I've got an interview tonight at Global Tech in Natick. They make or distribute Honeywell batteries. I'm a little sketchy on the specifics of the company, but he has my salary requirements and still wants to meet. Plus side is that he's cool on the after work interview. I've had a couple of spots where if you can't come down in the middle of the day to interview, then SOL. Bastards!

I had a phone interview last night for an Admin job at ATT Broadband. The job sounds cool and it's right in town so at most I'd have a 15 minute commute. Really good bennies, including free broadband cable (including the pay channels - soft porn here I come!) and huge discounts on DSL and even cell. I'm expecting a call back for an actual face to face interview. Downside is that Blixx has worked with the company and says they are total assholes to work for. I take what he says with a grain of salt, as I won't be working for the media department so maybe things are better in other divisions. Or it could be a crapfest...we shall see. This job sounds really cool and that I would be a good fit adn I want them to call back and....no and then!

Remember that I said I went to an event at Higgins Armory Museum? Well, they are hiring for an Exec Assistant - ad was in the Sunday paper! I gave my friend the resume to get hand delivered! Is that timing or what? It's a cool place and I'd like to work there, but I hear tell that they are notoriously cheap bastards. I can take a small cut since I'd use like 0 gas getting to and from work (another 15 min commute!), but that's it. I also hear that it's a babysitting job. No thank you.

Fingers crossed kiddies that I will find the greener pastures and be able to give my notice and go! We aren't required to give 2 weeks here, and actually since I'm in (techniclly) sales they have the option of hussling you right out the door after you sign the non-compete agreement (again). So I'll tell the new company that I have to give 2 weeks, pack my crap then tell this place that I'm ditching out, then I get a 2 week vacation. I've got unused vacation time too so I'd get paid for the time. Yeah haw!

Ok, enough dreaming. Back to the dismall reality. Nah...back to surfing compeditor sites and getting my resume out there.

Belated Happy Birthday to Purge & UIM. I hope you both celebrated in style.

Thursday night we went to a friend from work's photography show at the Higgins Armory Museum. They took a dude in a suit of armor then had him pose around Worcester in different spots as part of a whole town celebration. It was pretty neat and I met some cool folks.

Friday night after work Toad, Blixx & I went to see Birdgirl's latest play Dancing at Lughnasa in Sturbridge. Birdgirl is the one in the middle. She was great, but the play was L O N G and not terribly well written. Everyone was supposed to have irish accents...ug! Afterwards, we went out with the cast and had a few pops, then Toad & Birdgirl came over and had a few more pops back at our place. 2am...you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!

Saturday morning we were up early (apply coffee and Excedrin...stir gently) as Blixx entered himself into the 1st Anual Canoe & Kayak Race in Shrewsbury. It was a 2 1/2 mile paddle with tons of folks in the race...and Blixx came in 3rd place! Woo Hoo - no cool trophy, but he did get a plaque. After the race, he had only 1 hour to change and get it together before working all night shooting a Miller Lite commercial in Boston. He had a fun time but I'll let him tell you the details. While he was gone, I took the kayak out and did a little afternoon paddle action in Rutland. I even managed to get some color on my face. It would have been the perfect retreat (I'd brought a book to read while floating) but there were yahoos waterskiing with little regard for the No Wake signs. Oh well, I tried.

Sunday Blixx was totally out of it when he woke up so we just kinda hung out and watched the Pats finally win over the Chiefs in OT. They really played horribly during the 1st quarter but it was nice to see them pull themselves together. The evening was capped off by me cooking a wonderful pork loin with sweet potato and fresh greenbeens, then some quality time chatting and whatnot with the hubby. Mmmmm quality time. I'm still walking funny due to the quality. ;)

I had lunch with Saner today. He's getting married in 5 days and is starting to sweat about it. He and his fiance are so stinking cute..this Saturday will be a good time, although I found out that we won't know anyone else there. I had thought there would be folks from their old company invited, but I guess we're special. Makes me feel bad for not keeping in better touch with them. We're thinking of giving them a honeymoon survival kit with all sorts of little toys etc. Or we give the more practical cash...we'll see what we have time to pull together.

Work still stinks...and I'd better get back to it. Peace.

There were two llamas in the middle of the road this morning, on my way to work.
No...seriously. You don't see that every day.

I had a great birthday and thank you to those who thought to send cards & well wishes. We didn't get to the BigE, but did manage to go see Goldmember (**1/2 rating) and buy some music and take long hot showers and eat/drink well. Blixx got me wonderful gifts, including an outfit and the Buffy board game! Woo Hoo - we were up until after 1am playing. Unfortunately, the forces of evil prevailed, but I'm calling a rematch. He got me a mood ring with butterflies on it, a Bitch Survival Kit, Bufy calendar & Angel action figures and treated me like a goddess all day. We had a wonderful late night off road experience and christened the jeep, which is now known as Shaggy. Blixx is a good one and he's all mine!

I think Nightskye meant to say that Frank was being portrayed as a wife BEATER, rather than a wife better. Other than that, I agree that you really shouldn't dish it out if you can't take it. Get out of the kitchen if you can't stand the heat. This coming from the overly sensitive woman who recently took every word Blixx said in his posts to be gospell and the end of the world. Yeah, I'm a hypocrite. Come on over here and do something about it. I dare you.

Mom's visit wasn't as tramatic as I had originally feared. We set Dick up in front of the TV watching football & he was pretty cool too. Speaking of football, hehe great masacre at the Meadowlands. The Pats really have it together so far this year. 44-7 WOO HOO.

Tomorrow is my sweet 16 birthday - yeah right! I'm not working, so you won't hear from me as our home computer is out of commission. After breakfast in bed, I'm thinking that we'll head out to the BigE. Or since the weather is supposed to be nice, so maybe Blixx will paddle me around in the canoe for the day. Or We could go shopping so I can spend the bucks my mom layed on me (with strict instructions to get something for ME...um, ok) Or stay in bed all day - hard to say. I'm just psyched that I have the day off.

I'm all upset because my mother is coming to visit, in celebration of my birthday. She'll be coming up Saturday morning and there's a ton of stuff around the house that I'll need to get done so that I won't have to listen to her give me crap. Arg! So, we'll do lunch with her and her Dick on Saturday afternoon then I've asked Blixx out on a date to go catch a movie or something. We haven't been to an actual theater since Spiderman, so there's any number of flicks that we want to see. I'm thinking Austin Powers for some escapeism.

Sunday is a 3yr old brithday party in the afternoon. V turns 3 & (shhh don't tell her) she's getting her very own bike. Grips came over & used our living room to put it together last night. It's got a bell and basket and tassles and everything a little girl could want to melt hearts. I actually added Grips to my list of friend's sites....a drastic oversight that I didnt' do it sooner. You can see just how beautiful his daughter is, as well as read the heartwrenching story of Jack's last day. If you're an animal lover, dont' read it without a box of Kleenex. Jack was a very good dog. I'm not sure what we'll do on Sunday night, but I'll bet it's something around the house, because that's just what we do lately. Hey, it keeps us off the streets at least.

I hope you all have better luck today than I seem to be having. Take it slow & watch where you're going.

It's Friday the 13th.

I was in a car accident on my way to work today. I'm fine & my car isn't too damaged, but it freaked me out. An 80 year old guy driving a Crown Victoria t-boned me. I was in the lane to make a left merge into traffic to enter the highway. He was entering the same lane from a different road, and obviously didn't look where he was going. He just plowed right into me. He dented my passenger doors on my Cavalier...his tank is fine - hardly a scratch, just the faintest hint of black paint where he hit my vehicle. This is just one more thing to deal with at all the wrong time, but at least we both walked away.
Here's ere's where the accident occurred. I was on Quinsig & he entered from Cambridge.

I was 2 hours late getting to work because the Worcester Police took 1 hour to get to us. First they said they couldn't find where I said the street was. I mean, it was right near a DuDo's so you'd think that Worcester's finest would be able to find it no problem. Arg! I had to sit & listen to this old guy tell me about all the other accidents he's been in. When I asked him for his license and registration, all he could come up with was an expired temporary license! By the time the cop arrived, he found the real one but had no idea where his registration is.

It seems that we share the same insurance company, which I hope will make the process move faster. I don't have rental coverage on my policy, so I'm hoping that I won't have to shell out big bucks to have a ride while the car is being repaired. This was totally his fault and no one better say otherwise, if they know what's good for them!!!

All hail the return of the TV viewing guide.

Check out the full grid of TV show times for the fall season. The new TV season usually fills me with glee, like a little girl in a candy store, but this fall there isn't a whole lot to get excited about.

Here’s some shows that show a little potential:
Boomtown (Sunday 10pm NBC). It’s the same story shown in four different perspectives. At least it’s a new concept in a sea of regurgitated crapola, but I worry that it will be boring since it's pretty much the same thing over and over again. There's potential here, but it will have to be done right. First show 9/29.
Birds of Prey (Wed 9pm on WB). Batgirl saves the day. This is just another example of comic book history gone awry. I’m interested…but I doubt this one will last, since the target audience will undoubtedly reject the historical comic inaccuracies. Begins Oct 8th.
Firefly (Friday 8pm on Fox). Joss Whedon, creator & writer for Buffy & Angel, has a new drama. He describes it as 'a space western.' I’m not sure what that means, but his whit and talent with the other shows means that I’m definitely tuning in for this one. I'm not sure this one will make it, as it seems more like a syndicated show on at 2pm Sundays, rather than prime time viewing material. Premier is next Friday 9/20 at 8pm.
Push, Nevada (Thursday 9pm ABC) is a play at home type show where clues lead you to the 1.2 million hidden somewhere in the country. I don’t think the mystery is where the money is, but rather why ABC would put a show with actual potential up against such stiff competition on Thursdays. Eh…ABC has it’s head up it’s own ass, but this is possibly the best thing they have going for them in the new season. This one may suffer where 24 did, in that if you miss an episode you're screwed for the following week. Premiere is 8pm 9/17, then again on 9/19 at 8pm, before the 2nd episode in it’s regular time slot).

Shows that could be good, but probably won’t:
Fastlane (Wed 9pm FOX) on brings us the return of Miami Vice style action, without all of the pastel sports coats. Tiffani Thiessen & Bill Belamy are in it. Nope, it’s not a comedy, so why do I feel like laughing? After The Fast & Furious did so well at the boxoffice, this seems like a sure hit, at least for a while. It’s starts next week 9/18.
John Doe (Friday 9pm on Fox). Dude wakes up knowing everything except who he is & where he comes from, uses useless knowledge to save the world. Eh, sounds familiar but I’ll give it a shot until the new Farscape & SG-1 episodes come back.
Hack (Friday 9 pm CBS) about the super hero in all of us: police officer turned taxi driver fights against the injustice in the world. On another network, maybe. CBS will just turn this into Touched by a Taxi Driver.
Haunted (Tuesday 9pm UPN) On right after Buffy, I’m sure I’ll catch this eventually. Cop gets visions that help him solve cases. It’s got the older brother from Party of Five in it.
The Twilight Zone (Wednesday 9pm UPN) It’s been done before but at least we know it’s a premise that works. Forest Witaker hosts.

Here’s some shows that I predict will crash and burn to their horrible deaths fairly early in the season:
Presidio Med (Wed 10pm CBS) Created by the same folks as ER, I imagine that it will be pretty much the exact same show. The only thing this one has going for it is Oded Fehr, who you may remember from the movie The Mummy & the gone but not forgotten TV series UC Undercover. Premier is Tuesday 9/24.
Dinotopia (8pm Thursday ABC). Man & Dinosaurs living together in a utopian world. Hmmm. I’d rather watch Survivor.
That was Then (Friday 9pm ABC). Some 30 something dude gets a do-over every week – a chance to go back to high school and change the future.
Girls Club (Monday 9pm Fox) Another David E Kelley masterpiece about lady lawyers. I guess he didn’t get it when Ally got canned – no one cares!
Septuplets (Thursday 9pm FOX) Read the discription of this show and tell me it’s for real. C’mon…seriously?
The Grubbs (Sunday 9:30 FOX) It’s like Malcolm in the Middle, except the kid isn’t a genius. It’s about the idiot triumphing. With Carol Kane & Randy Quaid starring as the parents.
Good Morning, Miami (Thursday 9:30 NBC) On right after Will & Grace, I think NBC is trying to avoid the after Friends cursed time slot. From reading the show premise, I’m not sure it would work in any time slot. I mean, who takes a job just because there’s a hotty working there? And how many sitcoms will start there?
Hidden Hills (Tuesday 9:30 NBC) a comedy about how funny life in the suburbs can be. Nope, never been done before.

It seems that my favorite waste of a Sunday afternoon show,Beastmaster, has been shitcanned after two seasons. MutantX will return, as will Andromeda, but many shows have been cancelled.

New on the syndicated market is Starhunter.

Today I reflect on everything I have that makes me lucky and happy, because I can’t let myself get caught up in the media hype surrounding the events of 9-11. It’s not that I don’t care for all of the valiant heroes who lost their lives one year ago today, but all of the images and words can’t bring them back. The nation mourned their loss a year ago and I believe that it is counter-productive to be dredging up all of the pain and anguish again.

We need to be strong and move forward and learn to not take things for granted.

I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who loves me with all of his heart and soul.
I am lucky to have a terrific and diverse group of friends who will drop everything to be there when needed, and know that I would do the same for them. My friends are family.
I still have my health.
I have a great house.
I always have food on my plate every day.
I have a job that pays the bills.
I have plenty of material items to call my own.
For all of their faults, I also have a family who loves me and cares about me.
I have the time and means to enjoy life doing what makes me happy, like camping or kayaking or reading quietly.
I have the ability to voice my opinions without fear of retribution.
I have my freedom.
I am not alone.

Live and Love like it’s the last day on Earth, because as some Americans learned a year ago today – it just may be.

Peace.

Blixx brought us back 4 2 lb lobsters. I ate one and could have put the other one away, had I not been so excited about the football game. The Pats creamed the Steelers. We didn't get home until after midnight then stayed up talking and whatnot (mmmmm whatnot) until 3am. I was tired earlier today. Now, I think I'm approaching delusional. I've gotten several e-mails inviting us out to Vincent's tonight, but I'm thinking that I won't make it much past 8pm.
Tired....where sleep...must sleep....whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

HOLY CRAP! FARSCAPE HAS BEEN CANCELLED!

I could totally understand it when Witchblade was cancelled. It’s a great show but no one was watching and Yancy Butler was sketchy – in & out of rehab and so forth. But Farscape is a truly original vehicle and it is a damn dirty rotten shame that budgetary cuts have forced it to be taken off the air. I checked some message boards and fan sites, and all are hopeful that maybe UPN or another network might be interested in picking it up.

Please vote to Save My Show.

Also, check out these online petitions I came across. I don’t know if they do much good, but it’s worth a try.

Scorpius-Farscape has contact information for the networks.

Other Online Petitions:
Save Farscape!
Frell No!
Scaper Save

Hapa – welcome back and congratulations! I'm glad you and your son are ok.
WryGuy – thanks for the advice column. Quite poignant.

I’d made an overly ambitious list of things to accomplish this weekend, so I didn’t get everything done. What I did do was hang curtains in the living room, which makes it look so much better, as well as get the boxes out of the front hall (Grips, please tell your wife). There’s still crap in the hall, but its all stuff that I couldn’t manage to move by myself. I swept the 1st floor. I put books on the shelves, cleared some clutter out of the dining room, and dragged crap that I don’t want to see down to the basement. I watered plants. I did a bunch of laundry. I bought a rug for the bathroom, a beautiful oriental looking thing with the same blue and green that’s in the shower curtain. Gotta love Building 19 for cheap rugs. I got a hair cut & figured out how to style it so I don’t look like a duffus. I caught up on my sleep. I got drunk on cheap but tasty white wine Friday night. I didn’t smoke a single cigarette on Saturday & only had 2 on Sunday. I didn’t smoke anything else on those days either, which is new. I ordered pizza from a new place called Fantastic Pizza (it was just ok, go figure).

I hope the changes I made to make our home homey will be recognized and appreciated by my wayward traveling husband. We haven’t really talked in days. He called last night and had a horrible connection – but he yelled I LOVE YOU over the static, which was sweat. I just shutter to think of our cell bill this month, but it’s worth it to know he’s thinking of me and missing me.

Tonight I’m getting my nails done after work & hitting the mall for some bathroom accessories that are much needed. Then it’s over to Toads to have lobster for dinner (better be!) and to watch the Pats cream the Steelers.

Speaking of football, did anyone see the Jets vs Bills game yesterday? Wowie, that was a good game. Bledsoe did a decent job, but it’s a shame the Bills have zero defence. Those two huge kickoff returns by the Jets were astounding.

*******

A first grade teacher in Pittsburgh explains to her class that she is a Steelers fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Steelers fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand, except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?"

"Because I'm not a Steelers fan," she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Steelers fan, then who are you a fan of?"

"I am a Pats fan , and proud of it," Janie replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why are you a Pats fan?"

"Because my mom is a Pats fan, and my dad is a Pats fan, so I'm a Pats fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Pats fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your Mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?"

"Then," Janie smiled, "We'd be Steelers fans."

Grrrr....Arg...

Let me begin by giving an all out 2 thumbs up to the movie Vanilla Sky. It’s a twisted journey into the psyche of a man who has it all, and has nothing. Really really good. I don’t know why it received so many mixed and bad reviews. By all means this is a worthy rental choice that will make you think and want to know more. Rent it if you enjoyed Fight Club. Another good rental choice in the Wacky genre is Donnie Darko.

It’s a beautiful day out so I decided to take a walk at lunch. Rather than head straight downtown, I hooked a left and meandered through the neighborhoods behind the mill buildings where I work. It felt great to get out and moving. Blixx even called while I was out so we chatted for a bit. I’m still jealous that he’s in Maine, but he’s missing me so I guess that will have to suffice. Absence making the heart grow fonder – bring it on! Anyway, I don’t know why I did it since I might have actually burned a calorie or lost a pound by getting off my ass, but as I type I’m eating the Chinese food I picked up on the way. Counter productive? Maybe - but definitely delicious.

Weekend plans, let me see. Tonight I’m heading straight home to hang curtains. I told myself I was going to do it last night, but then decided that watching the Giants suck was a worthy cause so I said F it. Post curtains, it’s looking like a decent Drunk, with the assistance of Grips. He’s going to move some furniture for me. I’m pretty sure he thought I was kidding about that. Silly man. Tomorrow I’m spending the day working on the house. There’s bills to pay. There’s plenty that still needs to be unpacked or hiked down to the basement so we can forget all about it for years. Once the dresser is upstairs I can continue my quest to find room in the guest room for a bed. Sunday there’s the Pet Rockconcert, where Sophie B Hawkins (Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover) is headlining. It’s a benefit for animal rescue leagues and the like, so I’m not sure that I should go since there will be plenty of adoptable pets there. There’s also some good football on Sunday so maybe I’ll just stay in close to the air conditioner and relax a bit. Overall, there’s plenty that I could and should get done but I want to take some ME time to relax and get my head together. What a long strange trip it’s been.

Blixx returns home on Monday evening from Maine so we’ve scheduled a Lobster fest at Toads to watch the Patriots on Monday Night Football. It will be so good to have him back home. I hope I’m not delusional in thinking that everything will be peachy keen wonderful when he returns. It’s good to have hope.

I hope you all have a wonderful and relaxing weekend.

Peace.

What a total shitfest today has been so far. Blixx went off to Acadia with Toad this morning. His parting words to me were about how I’d been laying on the guilt that he’s going. I haven’t said a fucking word, other than I wish I were going! Yes, I’ve got issues that the vacation that we’d planned as a fun get-away turned into HIS vacation. I LOVE Acadia and had looked forward to going, but whatever. He needs his time away to regroup, fine. I get that. I think it will be good for me to be alone in the house for a few days too. It’s been all about him for so many weeks now that maybe just maybe I’ll be able to get the feeling that it’s about me and what I need for a change.

I was late getting to work again today so Dino decided to have a chat with me about it. I get stuck in traffic every day so now I’m going to have to leave my house before 8am just to be sure I’m here in time to start my lousy ass job on time. He’s all like “I’m flexible, but really…” He wasn’t being very nice at all and speaking to me in a condescending tone that I took all the wrong way. He again went over how I made the decision to let my team (term used loosely here) leave at 5pm on Friday. Frickin other manager ratted me out so BigBen is on my shitlist. I tool 100% responsibility so he can’t go after the other two, but he’s all disappointed with me and the decisions I make. F him! I don’t get to make any decisions…I get no respect from SR Inbound management or from the two idiots I have working with me! I can’t make decisions without asking first, so tell me why they even need a SR Administrator in the first place?! They don’t – so my job is vulnerable. Hell, if I really put my mind to it I could realign our duties and save the company thousands my eliminating out jobs all together. If I thought there was someplace else for me to go, I sure would. Lay me off then, because I’m not going anywhere and I’m sick of being given shit jobs and no respect and getting talked to like I’m an idiot from this looser who has less management experience than I do.

After the chat about my lack of responsibility, I go to a meeting to plan the 2003 sales conference and I find that some of my ideas are being used and that I’m getting major kudos from the rest of the Administrators here at the company for my quick thinking and problem solving techniques! I guess my outspoken nature pays off somewhere because they all loved my revisions to the awards schedule and are planning on having a carnival on one of the evenings with bungee runs, Velcro walls etc, which is something I suggested rather than the DJ that no one goes to listen to. So after being treated like a child who’s taken one too many cookies, I get major props for my ideas. What a place, this company is. I’ve just got to get out of this department to maybe get a chance to go somewhere that I can use my brain.

Now I’m back at my desk where I have the option to either stuff envelopes with sales collateral or enter leads into our database. No thought required for either task. It hit me the other day how bizarre it is that I’m not enjoying my job because I’m getting paid too much to do too little. Isn’t that what I’ve always wanted? In looking for other positions, I find it difficult to get the same compensation that I make here and that kills me, because it’s not like I’m making a fortune doing what I’m doing. Most administrative type jobs in MA are paying in the high 20’s right now, and that would be a significant pay cut and a real problem. I could get what I’m making now with a Customer Service job, but then I’d have to listen to people complain all day. I remember the hell I had at my previous job and don’t think I could deal with the stress there. I look in other areas, but there are so many other qualified folks out there looking for work that I really don’t have an opportunity to even pitch myself as a hard worker & quick learner.

I’m just going to try to hold on to that feeling of respect I got from the meeting and hope that I can get through the day in one piece. I’m so emotionally frayed that I feel like I’ll burst out crying at the drop of a hat, so I’ll keep my head down and enter some more leads like a good little trained monkey.

Blixx recently commented that while my blog description states that you might find poetry here, he's never seen it.
the blame
game
is lame
and it's a shame
if everything i post is taken literally
it will be bitterly
that i bid the blogs goodbye
with a sigh
and a good cry
don't you know
what all of this is doing to me
can't you see
that there's so little glee
for me
i say that i want us to be
glad
not sad
or mad
if i can't post here
my dear
to try to write and make my thoughts clear
then i fear
that i am alone
hearing about my sarcastic tone
wondering if our marriage is blown
to shit
and i'd throw a fit
but i'd be mocked for my negative whit
so all emotion i must omit
to play by your rules
and to develop the tools
to survive
this emotional dive
and revive
the love
reminicent of
the great joy we had in the past
which is in contrast
to how we treat each other lately
which needs improvement greatly
i'm on the brink
and we should see a shrink
don't you think
to find out why you are always bent
and what the past few weeks have really meant
and what's going on inside
and why i've cried
almost every day
there's no way
we've said all there is to say
why after all we've shared
i'm scared
to let it all out and tell you what's really on my mind
I can't unwind
you say to be kind
but i'm going out of my mind
i'm not concise
but by using this device
i ask for advice
on getting through without paying too high a price
just trying to be nice

Blixx asked me to post this:
I was infected with the WORM_KLEZ.H. virus. It takes your email add. book and replicates and keeps on going. Sorry. You should be all set if you have virus protection software, and since I hardly ever use my home computer I don't think I infected any of you, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Keep your eyes open.

archives are back up, I think.

Today's work day started with a ration of shyt from Dino. He was upset that I made the executive decision to let my team go at 5pm on Friday, they day before a long weekend. I got a whole No means No lecture. Well, he chose to start the week on a sour note so let the games begin!

Tempest, more of the story, please!

We will officially have only one residence as of midnight tomorrow. Yes, we're still moving and yes we'll be moving right up until the last minute. We'll finish moving the fish and couch either today or tomorrow. I'd love to go catch a movie, or enjoy some rides and food at the Fair, but we've still got SO much to do as far as getting the house set up that I suspect we'll be indoors most of the weekend.
Bill will get to ride his tractor around to mow the lawn - he'll be psyched. I've just gotta figure out a cup holder & the thing is perfect.
I'd sent some of you an e-mail about us giving our entertainment center away. I haven't heard back, so it's headed to the trash unless I hear otherwise. It's nice and in good condition - it just doesn't go with my house at all. We're getting a grill for free from a co-worker of mine. Her hubby got the grill of the God's for his birthday, so their almost new 2 year old pretty big one is up for grabs. Woo Hoo!
I will not stress out about money. Everything is going to be fine.
The whole company, except for telesales (of which I technicly am) gets to go home at 3pm. Blast & Damnation. So, I've stopped working for the day. Baseball can do it, why can't I?
Our home phone number is back in action, if any of you feel the need to call.

I have absolutely no pity for the baseball players. Baseball is a boring sport & they should quit thier bitching about money. The only thing the strike means to me is that we can get back to our regularly scheduled programming!
_________________________________
Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous Adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, Droughts, fires, and a Myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.
Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level.
And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation. But you can help!
For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!
Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in
Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary.
Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or
enjoy a weekend in Rio.
HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate,
and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player
lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your
refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.
HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he
will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.
YES, I WANT TO HELP!
I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked below:
[ ] Infielder
[ ] Outfielder
[ ] Starting Pitcher
[ ] Ace Pitcher
[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute)
[ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)

Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the player I have
sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).
Your Name: _______________________
Telephone Number: _______________________
Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover
Signature: _______________________
Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit): Account
Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______ [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover
Signature: _______________________
Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call 1-900-F%*&-THE-FANS now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).
Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not limited to,
telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties.
Contributions are not tax-deductible............................................But we are working on a bill that would make your contributions Tax Deductable.

I've been listening to Dave Matthews Band's latest CD, Busted Stuff. This song really speaks to me:
"Grey Street"

Oh look at how she listens
She says nothing of what she thinks
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out on to Grey Street.
She thinks, "Hey, how did I come to this?"
I dream myself a thousand times around the world
But I can't get out of this place.
There's an emptiness inside her
And she'll do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart
How she wishes it was different
She prays to God most every night
And though she swears it doesn't listen
There's still a hope in her it might
She says "I pray But they fall on deaf ears,
am I supposed to take it on myself?
To get out of this place? "
There's lonliness inside her
And she'll do anything to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart
There's a stranger speaks outside her door
Says take what you can from your dreams
Make them as real as anything
It'd take the work out of courage
But she says "Please
There's a crazy man that's creeping outside my door,
I live on the corner of Grey Street
And the end of the world. "
There's an emptiness inside her
And she'll do anyrthing to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
It's more like cold blue ice in her heart
She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
She could change everything about her
Using colors bold and bright
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart
It breaks her heart
To Grey

Today is a good one.
I woke up a little chilled, so Blixx rolled over and cuddled with me for a while.
They dryer is connected so I'm wearing pants that I both washed and dried all by myself today. And nice undies - elastic in tact and no teddy bears!
It's 70 degrees and beautiful outside. I took a walk at lunch and didn't want to come back.
My boss is going to the Sammy Hagar/David Lee Roth concert tonight & just left for the day. The cat is officially away...

Today is Blixx's first day of work in a while. He's with Toad and it's just a quick couple of interviews, so it will be a nice easy job to get back into it. He's also got a lead on being a PA for the Rolling Stones, when they play their 3 Boston area shows. It's short money & late nights, in an environment that I'm not sure he should be in right now, but still a cool opportunity. He may also be shooting a Patriots commercial. I'll be sure to keep you all informed of anything that can be seen nation-wide. He got a real kick out of BoogieShoes saying that they saw his name on TLC all the time.

I'm heading out of work early (boss is away!) then heading over to the apartment for what will probably be the last shipment of smaller items. Everything left, which granted isn't much, is bigger than will fit in my Chevy so I guess it's all Blixx from here out. He tells me not to worry about it, but we've got to be out by Saturday night!!! He's got the locksmith coming to the house on Friday, so that will kill at least 1/2 the day...I'm trying really hard not to panic but as the clock ticks away I just can't seem to help myself. I also worry that he hasn't asked for help moving any of this stuff & I don't want him killing himself.

The Spencer Fair is this weekend and I hope we'll get a chance to go. I'm a huge fan of the ag fairs, with my favorite still being in Durham, which is the same weekend that the Rovers are coming to Irish Times in Worcester, so I don't know if I'll be able to go. Arg! Maybe the Guilford Fair then, but certainly the BigE!.

There was a memorial service for a former college roommate of ours this past weekend. We didn't go for a couple of reasons. One, we really didn't want to see any of the strangers who would call themselves friends that would come out of the woodwork to wail at the injustice of life cut short. These people called themselves our friends but were really nothing more than drinking/bed buddies. I mean, there were some good times there but I've learned since that friends are those who are there for you and who will stand by and take care of you, when you can't take care of yourself. None of the people who might have attended the ceremony were our friends then, nor will they be our friends in the future. One of the healthiest things Blixx & I ever did was move the Hell out of Fitchburg and cut ties with these co-dependant wackos. It was too easy to fall into that pattern again. The memorial was for Todd, a former apartment mate, who killed himself last year. He was always troubled but wouldn't accept help. If there is a higher plain, I hope he's in it and has some sort of other worldly understanding of his life and the mistakes he made. I just don't need to be in that room of mixed nuts in order to say it. He chose to distance himself from all of us in the last few years so I take it he meant to keep it that way. I hope he finally finds peace. The Blast Furnace gives a few more details - I count myself as one of those who declined the invitation. He can pass judgements all he wants - he was always better at that than seeing the reality of a situation.